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  1. #1
    sox4supper is offline Junior Member
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    Can I avoid being served divorce papers?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    I am in Oregon, my husband is in Maine. We were married and resided in Maine, until I recently left him (last week). My family/entire support network is in Oregon, so thats where I went when I left. We have 1 young child (13 months old). He informed me that he has filed for divorce, and interestingly enough, asked me how I preferred to be served - by Certified mail, or by being served. I would like to avoid being served as I would like to file for divorce in Oregon, but need to be here for 6 months to establish residency. Can I avoid the papers for 6 months? He knows my address. If it IS possible or legal to avoid being served, how do I go about it? Just dont answer the door? Can the person serving papers actually tape them to the door and leave them?

    Thanks for any advice.
  2. #2
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sox4supper View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    I am in Oregon, my husband is in Maine. We were married and resided in Maine, until I recently left him (last week). My family/entire support network is in Oregon, so thats where I went when I left. We have 1 young child (13 months old). He informed me that he has filed for divorce, and interestingly enough, asked me how I preferred to be served - by Certified mail, or by being served. I would like to avoid being served as I would like to file for divorce in Oregon, but need to be here for 6 months to establish residency. Can I avoid the papers for 6 months? He knows my address. If it IS possible or legal to avoid being served, how do I go about it? Just dont answer the door? Can the person serving papers actually tape them to the door and leave them?

    Thanks for any advice.
    You absolutely may not try that childish trick and win. He will simply win by default in Maine, and you will lose any chance of custody or even unsupervised visitation with your children.
  3. #3
    seniorjudge is offline Senior Member
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    It makes no difference if you avoid being served.

    He will have you served by publication.

    The whole lawsuit could be over and you would never know anything about it.
    There are two rules for success:

    (1) Never tell everything you know.
  4. #4
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by seniorjudge View Post
    It makes no difference if you avoid being served.

    He will have you served by publication.

    The whole lawsuit could be over and you would never know anything about it.
    Well, she COULD read about it in the paper...
  5. #5
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sox4supper View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    I am in Oregon, my husband is in Maine. We were married and resided in Maine, until I recently left him (last week). My family/entire support network is in Oregon, so thats where I went when I left. We have 1 young child (13 months old). He informed me that he has filed for divorce, and interestingly enough, asked me how I preferred to be served - by Certified mail, or by being served. I would like to avoid being served as I would like to file for divorce in Oregon, but need to be here for 6 months to establish residency. Can I avoid the papers for 6 months? He knows my address. If it IS possible or legal to avoid being served, how do I go about it? Just dont answer the door? Can the person serving papers actually tape them to the door and leave them?

    Thanks for any advice.
    I had a professor in college who did the same thing. You MIGHT get away with it, but if your stbx pays a few hundred dollars for a private investigator to track you down, you'll be hurting even worse than if you cooperate.

    With a child involved, he can probably get the local court to immediately give him temporary custody - which is going to really mess you up. You'd have to bring the child back to him right away if he gets such an order or face arrest.

    Why do people insist on playing stupid games to try to cheat the system?
  6. #6
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    I had a professor in college who did the same thing. You MIGHT get away with it, but if your stbx pays a few hundred dollars for a private investigator to track you down, you'll be hurting even worse than if you cooperate.

    With a child involved, he can probably get the local court to immediately give him temporary custody - which is going to really mess you up. You'd have to bring the child back to him right away if he gets such an order or face arrest.

    Why do people insist on playing stupid games to try to cheat the system?
    Because the system deserves it.
  7. #7
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bali Hai View Post
    Because the system deserves it.
    The "system" doesn't care. All the "system" does is to increase the cost to everybody else when people try to manipulate it.
  8. #8
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sox4supper View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    I am in Oregon, my husband is in Maine. We were married and resided in Maine, until I recently left him (last week). My family/entire support network is in Oregon, so thats where I went when I left. We have 1 young child (13 months old). He informed me that he has filed for divorce, and interestingly enough, asked me how I preferred to be served - by Certified mail, or by being served. I would like to avoid being served as I would like to file for divorce in Oregon, but need to be here for 6 months to establish residency. Can I avoid the papers for 6 months? He knows my address. If it IS possible or legal to avoid being served, how do I go about it? Just dont answer the door? Can the person serving papers actually tape them to the door and leave them?

    Thanks for any advice.
    Avoiding service in some places is a crime. You left him last week -- did you take the child? If so if dad asks for the child to be returned you will most likely BE FORCED to return the child to the child's father. You are being an immature selfish woman. Keep playing those games and you will LOSE custody.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  9. #9
    OldandTired is offline Member
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    It's questions like what she has asked here that prevents me from marrying again. When the women "just aren't quite happy", they do crap like this.

    Lady, you better pray to god that you have some good reason to present to the Court in Maine that would prevent the Judge from signing an order that you return your child to him, otherwise, you lose.

    You should have been an adult and stayed there for Court proceedings, instead, you chose to put over 3,000 miles between you and the Court you will have to appear in, or face default judgment in each and every thing he files. I hope, for your sake, your family is wealthy. Being rich alone in this case just isn't going to get it.

    "I would like to avoid being served as I would like to file for divorce in Oregon, but need to be here for 6 months to establish residency."

    You have GOT to be kidding.

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