Can I change the locks?

[Blond Bunny]

I am in Texas.

I have not filed to divorce yet, but was wondering if I can change the locks on my house to keep my husband out. He is dating someone who lives in the car, and brings her to my house to take showers, wash clothes, eat my food, etc. when I am gone to work. She rearranges stuff in my bathroom, closet in some sick way. I am afraid to eat my own food when I come home. My husband once almost choked me to death, but I did not call the police. I am just afraid.
The house is in my name only, and based on what he makes, he could not afford it. So, can I change the locks?

 

[justalayman]

No. You cannot lock out your husband until the courts say you can so, go file for divorce and ask for a restraining order the demands your husband not ener the house. Then, you can change the locks.

Oh, and since he is a resident of the house, you cannot prevent him from having his girlfriend over either. You both have full rights of control of the residence. Right now, neither one can override the others actions.

 

[LdiJ]

No. You cannot lock out your husband until the courts say you can so, go file for divorce and ask for a restraining order the demands your husband not ener the house. Then, you can change the locks.

Oh, and since he is a resident of the house, you cannot prevent him from having his girlfriend over either. You both have full rights of control of the residence. Right now, neither one can override the others actions.

While I cannot disagree with you at all, this is one instance where I would be tempted to go ahead and change the locks anyway. Sometimes personal safety has to take precedence over civil legality.

 

[Ohiogal]

While I cannot disagree with you at all, this is one instance where I would be tempted to go ahead and change the locks anyway. Sometimes personal safety has to take precedence over civil legality.

Actually I disagree. She sounds paranoid. If he did anything of the nature she is claiming then she should have and could have gotten an ex parte restraining order. If she wants one now and can prove that she fears for her safety then first thing Monday she can petition in court for said restraining order.

 

[Blond Bunny]

The restraining order would be granted? As I said, I regret now for not calling the police. How do I prove now that he's been violent? How do I prove that I am afraid and yes, paranoid. But I want to be safe than sorry.
How do I prove that he's bringing her to my home? THe only thing I have is her hair I that I found on the floor, and wipes that she used to wipe her private parts ( sorry, it's disgusting) in my bathroom trash can.
How do I stop this from happening in my own home?

 

[justalayman]

You have to suck it up on him bringing her to the home. You cannot control that as long as he is legally allowed in the home.

Unless the choking incident was very recent, I would believe you would have a difficult time getting an RO, even a temp one although I would still apply for one if you do fear for your safety.

Then, you need to file for divorce and ask the courts to grant you rights to stay at the house and allow you to change the locks.

 

[mistoffolees]

While I cannot disagree with you at all, this is one instance where I would be tempted to go ahead and change the locks anyway. Sometimes personal safety has to take precedence over civil legality.

If she's really concerned about her personal safety, she is free to move out or move into a woman's shelter until she can get a court order.

"My husband is evil and I'm scared for my life" just doesn't sound all that credible when she's been dealing with it on an ongoing basis. It really sounds like she's more upset that the GF is going through her things.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually I disagree. She sounds paranoid. If he did anything of the nature she is claiming then she should have and could have gotten an ex parte restraining order. If she wants one now and can prove that she fears for her safety then first thing Monday she can petition in court for said restraining order.

Its not the husband that I am worried about. Its the girlfriend and what she might do. It takes some serious nerve to do what she is doing. It also takes a certain level of amorality as well. The husband sounds like he has an anger problem, but since the two of them don't meet up, its unlikely that his anger would be unleashed. However there is no telling what the girlfriend might do.

 

[justalayman]

Its not the husband that I am worried about. Its the girlfriend and what she might do. It takes some serious nerve to do what she is doing. It also takes a certain level of amorality as well. The husband sounds like he has an anger problem, but since the two of them don't meet up, its unlikely that his anger would be unleashed. However there is no telling what the girlfriend might do.

apparently there has been no contact between the girlfriend and the OP. As a resident of the home, husband has full rights to the house until such time a court orders otherwise and with those rights is the right to "entertain" whomever they wish.

this thread falls under 1 of a couple different categories:

OP is being wronged

OP is paranoid and needs med attention

OP is a troll.

I hate to suggest somebody that is in serious need of assistance as a troll but just the same, getting jerked around by a troll is not my cup of tea either. The situation does not warrant immediate action from what I see.

So, since the girlfriend has not shown any attempt or desire to injure and from the wording of the choking situation, I believe it to be some time ago, I believe the best action would be for OP to make a report to the police about the choking and tomorrow, file for an RO and a divorce.

 

[Blond Bunny]

In other words, he can move his girlfriend in and there is nothing I can do about it until the court says for him to get out.
I should continue to support both of them...
If anyone needs medical attention, it's them; not me. I cannot afford to lose my sanity, as I have a 3 year old child to take care of. ( Sorry, I was offended by the above message)

They are playing house in my house. She washes his clothes, and neatly folds them, and puts them in my closet; she picks up stuff, rearranges stuff. Who know what else she is doing. Trying on my clothes?

Anyway, I get it. He has rights. And so do I- to divorce him.

P.S. A choking incident happened a few months ago. After I confronted him about the affair. I slapped him in his face, and was walking away, but then I realized my feet could not reach the ground, and I passed out from not being able to breath. Yes, I am stupid for not calling the police. Very very very stupid.

 

[Ohiogal]

The restraining order would be granted? As I said, I regret now for not calling the police. How do I prove now that he's been violent? How do I prove that I am afraid and yes, paranoid. But I want to be safe than sorry.
How do I prove that he's bringing her to my home? THe only thing I have is her hair I that I found on the floor, and wipes that she used to wipe her private parts ( sorry, it's disgusting) in my bathroom trash can.
How do I stop this from happening in my own home?

HOW do you know that she used WIPES to wipe her private parts? Seriously. How do you know it was HER?

How do you know it was HER PRIVATE parts that were wiped? You can't do anything to prevent YOUR HUSBAND from having guests in HIS home.

 

[Ohiogal]

Its not the husband that I am worried about. Its the girlfriend and what she might do. It takes some serious nerve to do what she is doing. It also takes a certain level of amorality as well. The husband sounds like he has an anger problem, but since the two of them don't meet up, its unlikely that his anger would be unleashed. However there is no telling what the girlfriend might do.

She doesn't even know if the girlfriend is in the home apparently. She has found WIPES that the woman used to wipe her private parts in the bathroom trash can? You know how many things are wrong with that statement? You are basing this on a woman who has done nothing and filed nothing but comes online to state the alleged girlfriend comes into the house when wife is NOT home and uses wipes to wipe her private regions and the wife knows this because she found a wipe in the garbage?

 

[Ohiogal]

In other words, he can move his girlfriend in and there is nothing I can do about it until the court says for him to get out.
I should continue to support both of them...
If anyone needs medical attention, it's them; not me. I cannot afford to lose my sanity, as I have a 3 year old child to take care of. ( Sorry, I was offended by the above message)

They are playing house in my house. She washes his clothes, and neatly folds them, and puts them in my closet; she picks up stuff, rearranges stuff. Who know what else she is doing. Trying on my clothes?

Anyway, I get it. He has rights. And so do I- to divorce him.

P.S. A choking incident happened a few months ago. After I confronted him about the affair. I slapped him in his face, and was walking away, but then I realized my feet could not reach the ground, and I passed out from not being able to breath. Yes, I am stupid for not calling the police. Very very very stupid.

You were abusive and perpetuated domestic violence on your husband. You don't even know if he did anything based on this description. You don't know that he choked you. YOu could have hyperventilated and passed out.

You don't know that she does his laundry. YOu don't know what she does IF ANYTHING when you are not there. You are coming across as a controlling paranoid woman who is trying to come up with a story in order to present to court.

You better try a new one because this tale is full of holes large enough to drive a mack truck through.

 

[justalayman]

In other words, he can move his girlfriend in and there is nothing I can do about it until the court says for him to get out.
I should continue to support both of them...
If anyone needs medical attention, it's them; not me. I cannot afford to lose my sanity, as I have a 3 year old child to take care of. ( Sorry, I was offended by the above message)

They are playing house in my house. She washes his clothes, and neatly folds them, and puts them in my closet; she picks up stuff, rearranges stuff. Who know what else she is doing. Trying on my clothes?

Anyway, I get it. He has rights. And so do I- to divorce him.

P.S. A choking incident happened a few months ago. After I confronted him about the affair. I slapped him in his face, and was walking away, but then I realized my feet could not reach the ground, and I passed out from not being able to breath. Yes, I am stupid for not calling the police. Very very very stupid.

I worded my post to specifically refrain from offending, if it is not applicable. You seem to take offense to just about anything.

As to the choking incident; sorry, you waited too long to even bother with this. You also have to realize YOU hit him first which means YOU would probably go to jail.

Anyway, you have your options.

 

[Blond Bunny]

For goodness sake, I know what I found. The wipes, yes, nasty... You would know too where they came from if you saw them. Her hair is all over my bathroom floor. I am not blind. And my husband admitted to having her over when I am gone. Am I a bad person here.. for not helping my husband's homeless girlfriend? Please, give me a break.
My husband told me I " need to do what I have to do", and he is not going to stop seeing her. So, yes, I come online, and asked around, if I have any rights.
Thanks for making me feel like sh..