Can I date if divorced?...its been almost 3 years

[NovaVirginia]

The Commonwealth of Virginia. I was granted a Decree of Divorce A Vincuolo Matrimoni in May 2007 after the Decree A Mensa Et Thoro in July of 2006 and a temporary custody and Support Order in May 2006. In the original temporary custody and Support Order in May 2006 there was a stipulation that stated that neither party shall have a member of the opposite sex, whom they are not related, spend the night ( must be out of the house from 11 a.m. until 7 a.m.) with them while the children are with that parent.

The subsequent orders do not address this.

My question is this. Is this something that would be permanent or do I have to wait to be married or the kids turn 18 or they move out? My ex wife has already had one child out of wed lock and it would seem that preventing me from having anyone near the children would be beyond the courts scope. What about taking them overnights to the grandparents with my girlfriend? Vacations? Holidays?

My ex wife is now threatening me with contempt if I ever have anyone over. Would this just have been during the divorce proceedings? I have sent a certified letter to the judge from 4 years ago but wanted to have other opinions.

Thank youWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

The Commonwealth of Virginia. I was granted a Decree of Divorce A Vincuolo Matrimoni in May 2007 after the Decree A Mensa Et Thoro in July of 2006 and a temporary custody and Support Order in May 2006. In the original temporary custody and Support Order in May 2006 there was a stipulation that stated that neither party shall have a member of the opposite sex, whom they are not related, spend the night ( must be out of the house from 11 a.m. until 7 a.m.) with them while the children are with that parent.

The subsequent orders do not address this.

My question is this. Is this something that would be permanent or do I have to wait to be married or the kids turn 18 or they move out? My ex wife has already had one child out of wed lock and it would seem that preventing me from having anyone near the children would be beyond the courts scope. What about taking them overnights to the grandparents with my girlfriend? Vacations? Holidays?

My ex wife is now threatening me with contempt if I ever have anyone over. Would this just have been during the divorce proceedings? I have sent a certified letter to the judge from 4 years ago but wanted to have other opinions.

Thank youWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

That's a little bit tricky. In most cases, a clause like that is not enforceable. However, you did agree to it at the time (at least, you didn't challenge it at the time) and SOME judges might just attempt to enforce it.

I suspect that experts would say that it's not really a good idea for young children if you're having women spending the night, anyway, so you may want to consider whether you really HAVE to do it. If you can't abstain while the children are in the house, then ask an attorney about having the decree amended or whether your judge is likely to enforce it.

 

[NovaVirginia]

I would agree with children but at what age is it ok to date? At 41 years of age id like to take my kids and girlfriend to my parents house for holidays and even crazy enough for the family vacations. It's more that obvious my ex wife wants to make me miserable because her life is not what she wanted and i have found someone.

I have asked the judge from 4 years ago to give me an answer to this but i'm unsure what we are protecting the children from. Is it much better for their mother to have a child out of wed lock with a married man who she doesnt speak to? Sure it may not be illega or written in a divorce paperl but it sure doesnt look well to the kids.

With any legal document we can find loop holes or omissions with any document.

I'm hoping the judge will replies before i waste more time in court.

 

[LdiJ]

I would agree with children but at what age is it ok to date? At 41 years of age id like to take my kids and girlfriend to my parents house for holidays and even crazy enough for the family vacations. It's more that obvious my ex wife wants to make me miserable because her life is not what she wanted and i have found someone.

I have asked the judge from 4 years ago to give me an answer to this but i'm unsure what we are protecting the children from. Is it much better for their mother to have a child out of wed lock with a married man who she doesnt speak to? Sure it may not be illega or written in a divorce paperl but it sure doesnt look well to the kids.

With any legal document we can find loop holes or omissions with any document.

I'm hoping the judge will replies before i waste more time in court.

Believe it or not, going on vacation would probably be worse than having someone spend the night, unless you got her, her own separate hotel room and she stayed in hers, and you stayed in yours.

Going to grandma's might not be so bad, because of all the adult supervision, but again, only if you stayed in one room and she stayed in another.

Otherwise, I don't understand why your girlfriend would have to spend the night when your children are present.

 

[mistoffolees]

I would agree with children but at what age is it ok to date? At 41 years of age id like to take my kids and girlfriend to my parents house for holidays and even crazy enough for the family vacations. It's more that obvious my ex wife wants to make me miserable because her life is not what she wanted and i have found someone.

I have asked the judge from 4 years ago to give me an answer to this but i'm unsure what we are protecting the children from. Is it much better for their mother to have a child out of wed lock with a married man who she doesnt speak to? Sure it may not be illega or written in a divorce paperl but it sure doesnt look well to the kids.

With any legal document we can find loop holes or omissions with any document.

I'm hoping the judge will replies before i waste more time in court.

You're free to date any time you want. You're just not free to have your girlfriend spend the night when you're in the house.

Your ex didn't sign an agreement saying she wouldn't have any more kids, so it's irrelevant. You DID sign an agreement (and got a court order) saying you would not have a woman spend the night.

The judge is not going to reply to any letter you sent. If you want to talk with the judge, you have to file a document requesting a hearing.

Until then, if you want to take your girlfriend on your vacations, get her a hotel room. It will be cheaper than a lawyer and it's what you're legally obligated to do until (and unless) you can get the judge to modify your decree.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Pardon me for being snarky, OP, but...

The decree is against overnights with someone you're not married to while the children are present. You can date anyone, any time, just not sleep with them while the kiddos are present.

It is very possible for your ex to have conceived her most recent spawn during daytime hours, or while the children were visiting their father.

Just sayin'.