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Can I divorce my adultchildren?

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TheGoodChild

Junior Member
I am in Texas, am 80+ yrs. old, am of sound mind (mentally competent with letters from my family md and neurologist stating the fact). I have three grown children, two cause me and the other constant misery...and are basically waiting for me to die so that they can get "their share" of everything I have....I want to take care of the good one when I depart, and write the other two out of my will, but can I legally sever ties with them now. I am concerned that if I ever am incompetent, they will increase the misery on the good child, and try to contest the will or prevent her from assuming guardianship of me and my estate (if the need ever arises). Also, under a guardianship, the good child (assuming she is my guardian) would have to periodically provide them with an accounting of everything spent. It is none of their business where I spend my money and I don't want them to be able to force this action on the good child in the event of my incapacity prior to death. Can I legally DIVORCE or otherwise cut legal ties with them now?
 


justalayman

Senior Member
go to an attorney to set all of this up. I would write down exactly what you wrote here and take it with you. It does not sound like there would be too many problems, if any.

there may be a requirement to notice the other 2 children in your will. That is state specific so the attorney would direct you regarding this.

as to making the children leave you alone now; tell them to go away and if they do not, file for a restraining order.

since you are not legally obligated to them, there is no real action to "divorce" them. Just tell them to go away and write your will, and guardianship (if needed) and POA accordingly.
 

TheGoodChild

Junior Member
Can I divorce my adult children?

i tried the restraing order...but was told by the sheriffs office that they have to actually commit a crime against me and pestering me is not a crime....I gave the good child the full durable POA...the other two went ballistic and are threatening sueing for guardianship of the estate....Not of me the person, just my money property etc....I want to nip this thing in the bud before they tie me and/or the good child up in court...I do however get along fine with the children of the bad two and do not intend to cut them off...they, who also are adults do not agree with their parents either.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
i tried the restraing order...but was told by the sheriffs office that they have to actually commit a crime against me and pestering me is not a crime....I gave the good child the full durable POA...the other two went ballistic and are threatening sueing for guardianship of the estate....Not of me the person, just my money property etc....I want to nip this thing in the bud before they tie me and/or the good child up in court...I do however get along fine with the children of the bad two and do not intend to cut them off...they, who also are adults do not agree with their parents either.
You need to get to an attorney NOW. The longer you wait, the easier it will be for them to challenge it.

1. Make sure you have a solid will. Your attorney will know how to write it so that it's difficult (if not impossible) to challenge. Leave your money to anyone you wish (the child you get along with, grandchildren, whoever).

2. I'm not surprised that you can't get a restraining order. I had an employee threaten to kill me when I fired him and then he slashed the bumper on my car and that was not sufficient (the judge said I had to receive two death threats).Even though you can't get a restraining order, you're free to not let them into your house. If you're somewhere else, tell your host that you're not interested in seeing them and request that they ask them to leave (or you can leave).

3. I would suggest that you meet with a counselor and possibly have testing done to support your statements that you are competent. In principle, they should not be able to win a competency hearing without some strong evidence, but if your counselor has administered a variety of tests which indicate that you're competent, it will make their challenge even less likely to succeed.

4. In addition to your will, talk with your attorney about a trust and power of attorney. If you set everything up while you're competent, then the 'bad' kids will have a hard time challenging it if you should become incompetent in the future.

5. If your assets are sufficient that you don't have to worry about running out of money, consider gifts while you're still alive.

One thing to think about is that if something happens to you, the 'bad' kids will make the other child's life a living hell. Are you prepared for that?
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
You need to get to an attorney NOW. The longer you wait, the easier it will be for them to challenge it.

1. Make sure you have a solid will. Your attorney will know how to write it so that it's difficult (if not impossible) to challenge. Leave your money to anyone you wish (the child you get along with, grandchildren, whoever).

2. I'm not surprised that you can't get a restraining order. I had an employee threaten to kill me when I fired him and then he slashed the bumper on my car and that was not sufficient (the judge said I had to receive two death threats).Even though you can't get a restraining order, you're free to not let them into your house. If you're somewhere else, tell your host that you're not interested in seeing them and request that they ask them to leave (or you can leave).

3. I would suggest that you meet with a counselor and possibly have testing done to support your statements that you are competent. In principle, they should not be able to win a competency hearing without some strong evidence, but if your counselor has administered a variety of tests which indicate that you're competent, it will make their challenge even less likely to succeed.

4. In addition to your will, talk with your attorney about a trust and power of attorney. If you set everything up while you're competent, then the 'bad' kids will have a hard time challenging it if you should become incompetent in the future.

5. If your assets are sufficient that you don't have to worry about running out of money, consider gifts while you're still alive.

One thing to think about is that if something happens to you, the 'bad' kids will make the other child's life a living hell. Are you prepared for that?
uh....and that will matter because???

and he will know about that, how????
 

BL

Senior Member
One thing to think about is that if something happens to you, the 'bad' kids will make the other child's life a living hell. Are you prepared for that?
Only if the good one allows them to .
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
uh....and that will matter because???

and he will know about that, how????
It will matter because the OP probably cares about the 'good' child, if nothing else.

It may be unavoidable, but OTOH, there may be things that OP can do to lessen this situation. At the extreme, if the amount of money isn't great, some parents would decide to split the money evenly even though the 'bad' kids don't deserve it just to protect the 'good' kid from abuse. I'm not suggesting that, but it's one factor to consider.
 

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