Can I Force Him to Move?

[MrsSSimpson]

What is the name of your state? CA

I have filed for divorce, and we are currently renting a house. We had verbally agreed beforehand on separation of belongings, and also verbally agreed that I would stay in the house as I would have my 3 kids (2 from a previous relationship), and he agreed he would move.

However, since being served the papers (I guess making it reality), he says he's not rushing to move, that he's going to take his time. He works late until 8 or 9pm, and goes "out" on the weekends coming in between 2-4am. I think that although we're divorcing, that this is just spiteful and disrespectful, and I expressed that on top of it all, I'm uncomfortable with him just coming in and getting in the bed with me because he's defiant that it's his bed too.

Last night I slept on the couch, but went to bed and woke up so angry that *I* am the one sleeping on the couch because I am the one uncomfortable. It's as if it's my problem, because I filed for divorce - which is due to him flirting and propositioning my sister for sex! His getting in the bed, and knowing he's planning to take his sweet time moving out, totally disgusts me. It infuriates me to think that if I want peace, and begin my mental healing process from this marriage that I may have to just take my kids and move because he's not doing so fast enough - not to mention that he could not afford to even rent the house alone, but I can and that was the plan.

Sorry for the long story - but is there something that I can do?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA

I have filed for divorce, and we are currently renting a house. We had verbally agreed beforehand on separation of belongings, and also verbally agreed that I would stay in the house as I would have my 3 kids (2 from a previous relationship), and he agreed he would move.

However, since being served the papers (I guess making it reality), he says he's not rushing to move, that he's going to take his time. He works late until 8 or 9pm, and goes "out" on the weekends coming in between 2-4am. I think that although we're divorcing, that this is just spiteful and disrespectful, and I expressed that on top of it all, I'm uncomfortable with him just coming in and getting in the bed with me because he's defiant that it's his bed too.

Last night I slept on the couch, but went to bed and woke up so angry that *I* am the one sleeping on the couch because I am the one uncomfortable. It's as if it's my problem, because I filed for divorce - which is due to him flirting and propositioning my sister for sex! His getting in the bed, and knowing he's planning to take his sweet time moving out, totally disgusts me. It infuriates me to think that if I want peace, and begin my mental healing process from this marriage that I may have to just take my kids and move because he's not doing so fast enough - not to mention that he could not afford to even rent the house alone, but I can and that was the plan.

Sorry for the long story - but is there something that I can do?

All you can do is file a petition asking the judge to require him to leave the home. However you can also have a sturdy lock put on the bedroom door to keep him out.

 

[MrsSSimpson]

Just to confirm, until I file the petition, I can put a lock on the door. What is my recourse if he tries to break through?

 

[nextwife]

However you can also have a sturdy lock put on the bedroom door to keep him out.

Excuse me, but this is a RENTED property. I would NOT advise her to go making holes in the doorframes unless she has obtained the permission of the property owner. Her lease may not allow such an alteration to the property.

If he is on the lease, until a judge states otherwise, he has the same right to be there that you do. And until the landlord releases him from the lease, he is also obligated for the rent there, as are you if you are on the lease. Persoanlly, I would NOT vacate a place that I had a legal liability for until that liability was removed or legally transferred..

 

[LdiJ]

Excuse me, but this is a RENTED property. I would NOT advise her to go making holes in the doorframes unless she has obtained the permission of the property owner. Her lease may not allow such an alteration to the property.

If he is on the lease, until a judge states otherwise, he has the same right to be there that you do. And until the landlord releases him from the lease, he is also obligated for the rent there, as are you if you are on the lease. Persoanlly, I would NOT vacate a place that I had a legal liability for until that liability was removed or legally transferred..

A simple slid bolt on the interior of the door would cause mimimal alteration and would be highly unlikely to upset a landord. If by some remote chance that it did...then a simple replacement of the door/frame...which is VERY inexpensive on an interior door solves the problem. Most landords wouldn't even have a problem with a deadbolt installation. It doesn't detract from the home's value.

 

[nextwife]

If by some remote chance that it did...then a simple replacement of the door/frame...which is VERY inexpensive on an interior door

WE don't know the age or type of contruction. It would ONLY be "very inexpensive" if the house were a more recent, cheap style construction that utilizes those plain, pine, 4 inch moldings and hollow doors. Most of the properties in the rental pool in some markets are older, have 8 inch, stained, hardwood mopboards, 6 inch detailed door moldings, solid wood doors, and would be expensive to remake (because they can't be bought from the local lumber giant) and replace.

She COULD swap out the door knob for a locking bath type without damaging the property, and that is the ONLY alteration to an inside door I'd recommend WITHOUT owner permission. IF owner does NOT object, fine.

And he IS still on the lease. She needs to get the ball rolling to see how to get him released, so he IS free to move without also being legally liable for the rental lease, if any, at this place.

 

[MrsSSimpson]

All you can do is file a petition asking the judge to require him to leave the home. However you can also have a sturdy lock put on the bedroom door to keep him out.

I went to the court Thursday, filed for child custody and visitation, so now I at least have a mediation appointment as well as a court date. However, I tried to file a petition requesting an order for him to move, and the clerk told me there is no such thing. Did I miss something? Can someone tell me the exact form I should complete if this is possible? I found out today from one of his friends today that my husband called him and asked him if he'd be interested in renting a room here because he needs a couple of roommates. So, from that, it sounds like my husband is re-neg'ing his verbal agreement to move, and is going to try to stay here. It hurts that this person I married would be so selfish as to push for me and my CHILDREN to move out so that he can keep renting a 4-bedroom house that he doesn't need and can't even afford on his own. I want to hold him to our verbal agreement and push him to move out. After all, I am paying to file this divorce because I could no longer stand to be married to a man who tried to have sex with my sister!

Please advise...