Can I get back my boys?

[bestill]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Last August, my wife left with 3 boys. They are staying in Arkansas. She left without my agreement. For couple of weeks, I didn't know where they are. She doesn't have job and asking me child support. For seven months, I send more than I can afford.
She has little bit of paranoid personality disorder. While taking my money, she doesn't allow me talk to my kids or visit them.
Can I file divorce in Indiana? Do I have to file in Arkansas?
If she doesn't let me visit my boys, to whom can I call for help? Police?
None of my friend been through these. I have no one to ask. I met several attourney but they think Arkansas has jurisdiction.

I appreciate your advice. Thanks for reading.
Jae

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by bestill

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Last August, my wife left with 3 boys. They are staying in Arkansas. She left without my agreement. For couple of weeks, I didn't know where they are. She doesn't have job and asking me child support. For seven months, I send more than I can afford.
She has little bit of paranoid personality disorder. While taking my money, she doesn't allow me talk to my kids or visit them.
Can I file divorce in Indiana? Do I have to file in Arkansas?
If she doesn't let me visit my boys, to whom can I call for help? Police?
None of my friend been through these. I have no one to ask. I met several attourney but they think Arkansas has jurisdiction.

I appreciate your advice. Thanks for reading.
Jae

If you wanted your boys back in Indiana you should have filed for divorce several months ago. At this point of time, Indiana has jurisdiction most likely due to the fact that the boys have been there for six months (or will in a few days if they got there on August 31). You may not have standing to file for divorce in Arkansas as you do not have residency there. Why would you question the several attorneys if they told you Arkansas has jurisdiction? IS it because you don't like tha tanswer?
The police will do nothing.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

If you wanted your boys back in Indiana you should have filed for divorce several months ago. At this point of time, Indiana has jurisdiction most likely due to the fact that the boys have been there for six months (or will in a few days if they got there on August 31). You may not have standing to file for divorce in Arkansas as you do not have residency there. Why would you question the several attorneys if they told you Arkansas has jurisdiction? IS it because you don't like tha tanswer?
The police will do nothing.

You might want to correct the bolded...

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

You might want to correct the bolded...

Crap. At this point in time the OTHER state has jurisdiction, or will in a few days if the boys arrived there on August 31. The other state being Arkansas.

[bestill]

Thank for reply. I wanted reconciliation so I wait. but it turn out nowhere to go.
Since there was no agreement, I think I don't need to send money for child support. So from next month I will not send money. I will wait for my wife's response.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by bestill

Thank for reply. I wanted reconciliation so I wait. but it turn out nowhere to go.
Since there was no agreement, I think I don't need to send money for child support. So from next month I will not send money. I will wait for my wife's response.

Why WAIT? Why not be proactive and go see your boys. And if not look at filing in Arkansas for a custody order?

[mattnmegmom]

Please go file and do whats right for your children, What your wife is doing is morally wrong, but please dont stop sending money its not your childrens fault and they still have to eat.

[bestill]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Why WAIT? Why not be proactive and go see your boys. And if not look at filing in Arkansas for a custody order?

Boys want to see me. But they afraid their mom. I'll look for more information about filing custody order. Thanks.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by bestill

Boys want to see me. But they afraid their mom. I'll look for more information about filing custody order. Thanks.

Are YOU afraid of their mom?

[bestill]

I just wanted avoid her histery. Maybe my Kids think that way. But I can't use force to get back my kids. I wish I could see my boys on Spring break.

Whenever she make mess, I have to clean it. Many broken relationship cause of her. Now I think it is time to act. But I don't know what to do exactly.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by bestill

I just wanted avoid her histery. Maybe my Kids think that way. But I can't use force to get back my kids. I wish I could see my boys on Spring break.

Whenever she make mess, I have to clean it. Many broken relationship cause of her. Now I think it is time to act. But I don't know what to do exactly.

YOu avoid her history, you avoid your children. Which does NOT make you father of the year and that excuse will make the judge think you are a deadbeat that doesn't care. You WISH? Yet you have done nothing in six months to see your children.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by bestill

I just wanted avoid her histery. Maybe my Kids think that way. But I can't use force to get back my kids. I wish I could see my boys on Spring break.

No, you can't use force to get your kids back. By allowing her to leave and establish residency, it became unlikely that you could get custody.

You've already got your answer. You need to file for divorce (presumably in her new state because that's where custody of the kids resides) and ask for visitation.

Frankly, you're going to get visitation, but don't count on an exceptionally long time. You let her move out of state with the kids and for 6 months didn't make any effort to see them or establish custody or visitation. The court is not likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when your actions indicate that you don't care. If you really do want to be part of the kids' lives, then you need to get off your rear end and take some action.

[bestill]

For six months, kids had to be here three times for business purposes. So I spent about 7 nights total. Even they were here, she sent boys to their friend's house because it's their wish.

In Thanksgiving Holidays, drove down to Arkansas but she refused to send kids to me because boys didn't want to stay with me. When I talked to my second son, I told me in tears, 'I don't want to stay a night with you.' Boys and I made arragement, I let their mom about this plan. She didn't disagree. On critical timing, she took boys to somewhere else. She is in control. If not she can't put up with.

My income tax purpose's salary is $ 2,400. I sent $1,500 each month for child support. It was my gesture to show kindness. But I can't afford to support two housings.

She told me she will take kids to Texas last Summer. I said it's impossible. Since she couldn't get co-signer for her apartment rental, I thought it'll take several months. Long story short, when I figure it out where they are, they already in new school and friend.

But, as Indiana resident, I can't file divorce on Arkansas court. The lawyer I met said he will research and tell me wether he will take this case or not. It's been a month.