can a judge force a divorce

[wenbee]

What is the name of your state? ny
My STBE filed for divorce. after not hearing anything for 8 months i requested a conference date. During this conference I was ordered to pay all costs including the ex's fees, associated with the divorce. I asked my lawyer to rescind my request (i couldn't afford all the costs) and was told that the opposing lawyer can file a motion for a default judgement, where the judge can force the divorce. Can a judge force you to divorce, even when the judgement is totally lopsided. I make more than my ex and she pays child support for 1 child that lives with me. She has been living on her own for 3 years with no responsibility towards any marital finances, yet the judge reminds me that any funds i use are marital funds, but she does not say this to the STBE... I need a little clarification on what rescinding a divorce request can really do to me. The STBE ex just ought a 50k car on a supposedly 30k salary, but my lawyer says that makes no difference, i make more so I have to pay...
I am looking for a new lawyer because I don't feel comfortable with the explanations that I get...

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? ny
My STBE filed for divorce. after not hearing anything for 8 months i requested a conference date. During this conference I was ordered to pay all costs including the ex's fees, associated with the divorce. I asked my lawyer to rescind my request (i couldn't afford all the costs) and was told that the opposing lawyer can file a motion for a default judgement, where the judge can force the divorce. Can a judge force you to divorce, even when the judgement is totally lopsided. I make more than my ex and she pays child support for 1 child that lives with me. She has been living on her own for 3 years with no responsibility towards any marital finances, yet the judge reminds me that any funds i use are marital funds, but she does not say this to the STBE... I need a little clarification on what rescinding a divorce request can really do to me. The STBE ex just ought a 50k car on a supposedly 30k salary, but my lawyer says that makes no difference, i make more so I have to pay...
I am looking for a new lawyer because I don't feel comfortable with the explanations that I get...

I very much doubt that the judge is going to allow you to rescind your request just because you don't like what the judge ordered. Its not at all unusual for the higher earning spouse to be ordered to pay the lesser earning spouse's legal fees.

 

[wenbee]

the reason for rescinding the case is not due to the judge being unfair, but the fact that i cannot afford to pay her attorneys fees of 10K+ by the next court date. it was explained tome that by not doing this it would be viewed as non-compliance.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? ny
My STBE filed for divorce. after not hearing anything for 8 months i requested a conference date. During this conference I was ordered to pay all costs including the ex's fees, associated with the divorce. I asked my lawyer to rescind my request (i couldn't afford all the costs) and was told that the opposing lawyer can file a motion for a default judgement, where the judge can force the divorce. Can a judge force you to divorce, even when the judgement is totally lopsided. I make more than my ex and she pays child support for 1 child that lives with me. She has been living on her own for 3 years with no responsibility towards any marital finances, yet the judge reminds me that any funds i use are marital funds, but she does not say this to the STBE... I need a little clarification on what rescinding a divorce request can really do to me. The STBE ex just ought a 50k car on a supposedly 30k salary, but my lawyer says that makes no difference, i make more so I have to pay...
I am looking for a new lawyer because I don't feel comfortable with the explanations that I get...

Welcome to the New York State divorce court "justice" system. Contact your senatoress for help.

 

[LdiJ]

Welcome to the New York State divorce court "justice" system. Contact your senatoress for help.

That is HORRIBLE advice. A legislator CANNOT intervene in a court case and if a legislator tried, it would seriously piss off the judge.

 

[Bali Hai]

That is HORRIBLE advice. A legislator CANNOT intervene in a court case and if a legislator tried, it would seriously piss off the judge.

Calm down mom, I was just being facetious.

 

[LdiJ]

Calm down mom, I was just being facetious.

What if he read your advice and then didn't come back to the forum to see that it was bad advice? You can't say things like that. You can't advise posters to do things that could seriously cause them problems.

 

[Bali Hai]

What if he read your advice and then didn't come back to the forum to see that it was bad advice? You can't say things like that. You can't advise posters to do things that could seriously cause them problems.

Do you believe that Hilary would actually contact the judge in this posters case?

 

[moburkes]

You contact a senator to change the law, not to interfere in a case.

 

[wenbee]

I know that my lawyer is not representing me whole heartedly, what are the ramifications of my sending the courts a letter stating what my lawyer is refusing to state in the court room. ex: I wanted my lawyer to tell the court my ex has been living on her own for 3 years. she refused to do this and meanwhile the judge has told my ex's lawyer to file papers for spousal support.
Due to my ex paying child support, is that a valid reason for me having to pay her legal bills?

 

[Bali Hai]

I know that my lawyer is not representing me whole heartedly, what are the ramifications of my sending the courts a letter stating what my lawyer is refusing to state in the court room.

Send the court a letter stating that you have discharged your attorney (fire the attorney first of course) and ask for time to get alternate counsel.

ex: I wanted my lawyer to tell the court my ex has been living on her own for 3 years. she refused to do this and meanwhile the judge has told my ex's lawyer to file papers for spousal support.
Due to my ex paying child support, is that a valid reason for me having to pay her legal bills?

Are you familiar with the term "railroaded"?? The picture you paint doesn't look good for you.

If it's any comfort to you, there are many men in NYS in the same circumstances as you. ( I couldn't resist saying this because it's what one attorney said to me the day I fired him)

 

[wenbee]

Thanks. i am in the process of finding another lawyer. In the meantime, I need to get a second job to affords this. Hopefully the new lawyer will only take half of my pay as the other "half" is technically hers...