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Can the paramour be sued under VA law?

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ladybug3

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Virginia.
The wife of my coworker believes that he is cheating on her with me and has said she will definitely sue me for everything I have. Her husband and me have a strong attraction and he would like out of his marriage on many accounts, specifically, that she is emotionally abusive and it has even led to physical abuse throughout their marriage, but him and I are not together physically due to his circumstances but have admitted love for each other. Her threats, harrassment and control of him scare him into staying. If he were to separate the chances are high that he and I will begin a romantic relationship but would try to keep it under wraps as much as possible.

I'd like to know if she has the right to sue; If she does what is the worse case scenario for me - can she actually take me to the cleaners so-to-speak?; historically, how does the average case like this turn out - good/bad; is it a misdemeanor or what is it going to look like on my record if she actually wins; what is the name of the law that she will sue under; what evidence is needed to prove this; and do you need proof beyond a reasonable doubt or what level of proof is needed? Any help is appreciated.
 


Bali Hai

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Virginia.
The wife of my coworker believes that he is cheating on her with me and has said she will definitely sue me for everything I have. Her husband and me have a strong attraction and he would like out of his marriage on many accounts, specifically, that she is emotionally abusive and it has even led to physical abuse throughout their marriage, but him and I are not together physically due to his circumstances but have admitted love for each other. Her threats, harrassment and control of him scare him into staying. If he were to separate the chances are high that he and I will begin a romantic relationship but would try to keep it under wraps as much as possible.

I'd like to know if she has the right to sue; If she does what is the worse case scenario for me - can she actually take me to the cleaners so-to-speak?; historically, how does the average case like this turn out - good/bad; is it a misdemeanor or what is it going to look like on my record if she actually wins; what is the name of the law that she will sue under; what evidence is needed to prove this; and do you need proof beyond a reasonable doubt or what level of proof is needed? Any help is appreciated.
Just screw the guy and get it over with and move on.
 

ladybug3

Junior Member
This is a serious question that I still need the answer to. Please, only serious responses. Regardless of whether him and I ever even get into a relationship, I honestly believe this woman will attempt to sue me anyway because she believes I took some part in his wanting to leave, especially since he admitted to her he is in love with me (big mistake). I need to know how to walk the line of being friends or a little more without being guilty of being a part of "Alienation of Affection." Is that the name of the law?
 

CLBKLCDTB

Member
This is a serious question that I still need the answer to. Please, only serious responses. Regardless of whether him and I ever even get into a relationship, I
honestly believe this woman will attempt to sue me anyway because she believes I took some part in his wanting to leave,
especially since he admitted to her he is in love with me (big mistake).
I need to know how to walk the line of being friends or a little more without being guilty of being a part of "Alienation of Affection."
Is that the name of the law?
If you are that worried then do not get involved with a married man. That simple.

If he is unhappy in his marriage tell him to get a divorce. When that divorce is final, and only then, will it be safe to start a "relationship" with him.

I do not know the law as far as suing a lover. (although you call yourself a paramore, (which in NY means a live in girlfriedn/boyfriend)

I do know that if she can prove adultry she can take HIM to the cleaners....so-to-speak. ;)

If I were her I would take it a step further and contact his/your employer and let them know your fratinising with hubby....that's just me tho.:D


historically, how does the average case like this turn out - good/bad;

In answer to this question.....BAD.
 

CLBKLCDTB

Member
To add....

You are an idiot to think a married man...saying he is in love with you, willing to cheat on his wife. Filling your head with crap.....:rolleyes:

Will treat you any differant than he is treating his current wife.;)
 

ladybug3

Junior Member
Thank you all for your advice and information (CLBKLCDTB you are probably on target with what he is like - thanks). It turns out that this law, "Alienation of Affection," is only valid in a few states in the U.S. and Virginia is not one of them - they abolished it along with most other states. If you are interested, here is more information about this archaic law.

http://law.justia.com/virginia/codes/toc0800100/8.01-220.html

http://marriage.about.com/od/legalities/a/alienation.htm

Famous North Carolina Hutelmyer case where wife was awarded $1M by husband's lover. This is the appeal by the other woman.
http://fl.bna.com/fl/19990622/980624.htm

One more thing - This woman has apparently already called the Legal Team where I work (her husband told me) and I have no idea what she said to them although no one has said anything to me. I am a contractor on a project and he is on the same project but works for a different company. What is the worst thing that can happen to me at work if she says that I am 'stealing' her husband? (even though we aren't even in a relationship but she thinks we are!) removal from the project? fired?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thank you all for your advice and information (CLBKLCDTB you are probably on target with what he is like - thanks). It turns out that this law, "Alienation of Affection," is only valid in a few states in the U.S. and Virginia is not one of them - they abolished it along with most other states. If you are interested, here is more information about this archaic law.

http://law.justia.com/virginia/codes/toc0800100/8.01-220.html

http://marriage.about.com/od/legalities/a/alienation.htm

Famous North Carolina Hutelmyer case where wife was awarded $1M by husband's lover. This is the appeal by the other woman.
http://fl.bna.com/fl/19990622/980624.htm

One more thing - This woman has apparently already called the Legal Team where I work (her husband told me) and I have no idea what she said to them although no one has said anything to me. I am a contractor on a project and he is on the same project but works for a different company. What is the worst thing that can happen to me at work if she says that I am 'stealing' her husband? (even though we aren't even in a relationship but she thinks we are!) removal from the project? fired?
That question is an employment law question, not a family law question. However, if I were your boss I would certainly, at a minimum, make sure that the two of your were NOT on the same project. Not necessarily because he is married, but because of the potential for the project being disrupted by your involvement with each other.
 

penny4u

Member
I don't know about VA but I do know for at least Ohio, or at the very least my county that I'm in...although frowned upon techinally affairs have nothing to do with divorce procedings. I can't imagine her having an actual legal standing to sue YOU. If it's for their divorce or something just concerning you. Others here might have an actual answer on that for you. I'm just guessing. Although wrong, affairs happen every day for a ton of different reasons. There would be law suits flying everywhere if it were permissible to sue over it.
 

quincy

Senior Member
In Michigan, a man is facing life in prison for adultery (the way the laws are written here, the judge had no alternative but to sentence him....it is, however, being appealed).

Also, an adulterous affair can figure into property settlements and child custody in some states.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you all for your advice and information (CLBKLCDTB you are probably on target with what he is like - thanks). It turns out that this law, "Alienation of Affection," is only valid in a few states in the U.S. and Virginia is not one of them - they abolished it along with most other states. If you are interested, here is more information about this archaic law.

http://law.justia.com/virginia/codes/toc0800100/8.01-220.html

http://marriage.about.com/od/legalities/a/alienation.htm

Famous North Carolina Hutelmyer case where wife was awarded $1M by husband's lover. This is the appeal by the other woman.
http://fl.bna.com/fl/19990622/980624.htm

One more thing - This woman has apparently already called the Legal Team where I work (her husband told me) and I have no idea what she said to them although no one has said anything to me. I am a contractor on a project and he is on the same project but works for a different company. What is the worst thing that can happen to me at work if she says that I am 'stealing' her husband? (even though we aren't even in a relationship but she thinks we are!) removal from the project? fired?

You could be fired.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
In Michigan, a man is facing life in prison for adultery (the way the laws are written here, the judge had no alternative but to sentence him....it is, however, being appealed).

Also, an adulterous affair can figure into property settlements and child custody in some states.
and in Virginia, you (no, not you Q, the OP) as the paramour, could actually be named as the co respondent in the divorce.


http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/VA/divorce/divexpln.htm

That's some NICE publicity. ;):eek::D
 

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