Can you sue a mistress?

[harley2009]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VIRGINIA. MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR FROM MARCH 2007 TO SEPT 2009 AND HIS MISTRESS KNEW WE NEVER SEPARATED. I HAVE ASKED HER NUMEROUS TIMES TO STOP CONTACT BUT SHE NEVER DID. SHE FINALLY BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM SEPT 2009. SHE WANTS TO FILE A HARASSMENT SUIT AGAINST ME FOR ALL THE TIMES I'VE CONTACTED HER. HIS NEW WOMAN IS DOING THE SAME THING. THEY ALL WORK FOR THE SAME FEDERAL AGENCY AND WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE THEIR AFFAIR BECAUSE OF THAT. I WAS A FOOL FOR I BELIEVED HIM WHEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO WORK THINGS OUT AND THEN HAD AFFAIRS BEHIND MY BACK. NOW, IT SEEMS THEY ARE ALL THE VICTIM..MY THREE KIDS AND I SUFFERED TREMENDOUSLY SINCE 2007 AND I'M ON ANTIDEPRESSANT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD SEE A LAWYER AND FOR WHAT REASON? TO DEFEND MYSELF? WORST PART OF IT ALL, THIS FEDERAL AGENCY DOES NOT CARE AT ALL THAT THESE TWO WOMEN KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY COMMITTED ADULTERY. IT TAKES TWO AND MY HUSBAND GOT WHAT HE DESERVED BUT I NEED HELP IN REGARDS TO THESE TWO WOMEN..

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VIRGINIA. MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR FROM MARCH 2007 TO SEPT 2009 AND HIS MISTRESS KNEW WE NEVER SEPARATED. I HAVE ASKED HER NUMEROUS TIMES TO STOP CONTACT BUT SHE NEVER DID. SHE FINALLY BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM SEPT 2009. SHE WANTS TO FILE A HARASSMENT SUIT AGAINST ME FOR ALL THE TIMES I'VE CONTACTED HER. HIS NEW WOMAN IS DOING THE SAME THING. THEY ALL WORK FOR THE SAME FEDERAL AGENCY AND WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE THEIR AFFAIR BECAUSE OF THAT. I WAS A FOOL FOR I BELIEVED HIM WHEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO WORK THINGS OUT AND THEN HAD AFFAIRS BEHIND MY BACK. NOW, IT SEEMS THEY ARE ALL THE VICTIM..MY THREE KIDS AND I SUFFERED TREMENDOUSLY SINCE 2007 AND I'M ON ANTIDEPRESSANT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD SEE A LAWYER AND FOR WHAT REASON? TO DEFEND MYSELF? WORST PART OF IT ALL, THIS FEDERAL AGENCY DOES NOT CARE AT ALL THAT THESE TWO WOMEN KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY COMMITTED ADULTERY. IT TAKES TWO AND MY HUSBAND GOT WHAT HE DESERVED BUT I NEED HELP IN REGARDS TO THESE TWO WOMEN..

One second. Which Federal Agency would this be?

 

[Proserpina]

(well, that question plus: what did you do to harass these women?)

 

[harley2009]

Reply

I am very aware of my state not having "alienation of affection". For the first one that made a comment, I simply did what I thought at that time was something that can save my marriage. Simply asking the other women to stop communicating with him. I never threatened to beat them or kill them. I never went to their homes. As a matter of fact, one of them even emailed me a couple of times telling me and assuring me she is not interested in pursuing a married man and that she will not contact him anymore. As for the one that had a three year affair with my husband this is her last email to him:

I believe that God shows me things when I need to see them. I know he watches over me a directs me in the way he wants me to go. The past month has been very hard for me. These past three years have been hard and I have been very lost. But I know what I have to do and I'm strong enough to face it now. I can't be apart of this affair anymore. It has hurt so many people and I can no longer stand being apart of all that hurt. Nor do I want to be hurt anymore. I ask that if you have ANY respect for me, you respect that I can't talk to you anymore. If you do call, then I know you don't care about me at all. I need this time to distance myself from all of this. On a different note, I have your weapon and other stuff. I will be in surgery on Monday, Oct. 5th, I ask you get it then. It will all be waiting for you in the foyer of my house. Just lock up and leave the key under the mat. I thank you for understanding and want you to know I will pray God commands his Angels to watch over you... B-

not everyone has the same situation so for someone to be as mean and sarcastic is on called for mistoffolees! I know my options when it comes to my husband as I have done that. It doesn't change the fact that these two women were his accomplice and knew what they were doing and who were getting affected.

 

[harley2009]

I don't know why my post was deleted, but I wasn't mean or sarcastic.

I pointed out to you that you have ZERO grounds for suing these women. And that if you're harrassing them, you can be sued for harrassment. And that you have to decide if you want to stay with your husband or leave - but these women are not part of your life and you need to stop bothering them.

I also pointed out that a Federal agency has no liability either.

What part of all of that don't you understand

FYI, THEY WERE PART OF OUR LIVES FOR THEY WERE PART OF THE MARRIAGE AS THIRD PARTIES. YOU ARE MEAN AND SARCASTIC AND FOR YOU NOT TO EVEN KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY AND SAY THESE THINGS AS IF YOU HAVE KNOWN ME AND MY SITUATION IS SIMPLY ABSURD. I AM REQUESTING FOR YOU TO NOT REPLY ANYMORE FOR I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY OR WHAT YOU THINK.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You are in NO position to dictate WHO will post on this forum. You have NOT been appointed the moderator.

Misty has given you LEGALLY correct information.

YOU cannot file for alienation of affection in Virginia.

The women you have harrassed can LEGALLY file against YOU.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Alienation of affections -- Law suits
By WORLDLawDirect [July 7th, 2008]

Alienation of affection(s) is a legal action, a tort based on willful and malicious interference with marriage relations by a third party. The elements constituting the cause of action are wrongful conduct of the defendant, plaintiff’s loss of affection or consortium of spouse, and a causal connection between the two. Not all states recognize the right to bring an alienation of affections action. It is usually viewed as not being relevant or easily applied in modern society.

States plus D.C. which have statutorily (i.e. by legislation) abolished alienation of affection:


* Alabama
* Arizona
* Arkansas
* California
* Colorado
* Connecticut
* Delaware
* District of Columbia
* Florida
* Georgia
* Indiana
* Kansas
* Maine
* Maryland
* Massachusetts
* Michigan
* Minnesota
* Montana
* Nebraska
* Nevada
* New Jersey
* New York
* North Dakota
* Oklahoma
* Oregon
* Pennsylvania
* Rhode Island
* Tennessee
* Texas
* Vermont
* Virginia
* West Virginia
* Wisconsin
* Wyoming



States which have judicially (i.e. by court ruling) abolished alienation of affection:


* Idaho (1986)
* Iowa (1981)
* Kentucky (1992)
* South Carolina (1992)
* Washington (1980)



States in which alienation of affection is possibly a viable cause of action:


* Hawaii
* Illinois
* Mississippi
* Missouri (appears recently abolished)
* New Hampshire
* New Mexico
* North Carolina
* South Dakota
* Utah



To succeed on an alienation claim, the plaintiff often must show that (1) the marriage entailed love between the spouses in some degree; (2) the spousal love was alienated and destroyed; and (3) defendant’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection. It is often not necessary to show that the defendant set out to destroy the marital relationship, but only that he or she intentionally engaged in acts that likely would impact the marriage.

http://www.worldlawdirect.com/article/1026/alienation-affections-law-suits.html

 

[mistoffolees]

FYI, THEY WERE PART OF OUR LIVES FOR THEY WERE PART OF THE MARRIAGE AS THIRD PARTIES. YOU ARE MEAN AND SARCASTIC AND FOR YOU NOT TO EVEN KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY AND SAY THESE THINGS AS IF YOU HAVE KNOWN ME AND MY SITUATION IS SIMPLY ABSURD. I AM REQUESTING FOR YOU TO NOT REPLY ANYMORE FOR I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY OR WHAT YOU THINK.

I'm going to say this one time:

1. When you can't even stand hearing the facts from people without deleting their advice and attacking them, then you're surely on the wrong side of reality.

2. I don't need to know you. I know what you've posted. You're screaming inane irrelevancies and expecting the world to bow to your wishes. it won't.

3. It's a public forum. I have every bit as much right to respond as you have to post here. If you aren't interested in advice, then go wallow in your self-pity.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Don't worry - she's been reported. These types of posters will NOT be tolerated.

YOU can do nothing but:
1. put up and shut up
2. go to counselling to see if you can improve the situation
3. file for divorce

As for the harrassment:
they can LEGALLY file against YOU for contacting them AFTER they have repeatedly said for you NOT to contact them. How well can you take care of your children if you are in JAIL?

 

[mistoffolees]

Don't worry - she's been reported. These types of posters will NOT be tolerated.

YOU can do nothing but:
1. put up and shut up
2. go to counselling to see if you can improve the situation
3. file for divorce

As for the harrassment:
they can LEGALLY file against YOU for contacting them AFTER they have repeatedly said for you NOT to contact them. How well can you take care of your children if you are in JAIL?

It's going to be interesting when she tries to explain how "I want you to keep those women away from me. I have your gun" is not going to be considered a threat.

 

[Ohiogal]

Boy did I miss some posts or a thread. LOL.

 

[Zigner]

Based on the title of the thread, I'll give you the following 100% accurate advice:

Yes, you absolutely can successfully sue the mistress in any jurisdiction in the US.








(Not BECAUSE she's a mistress. For example, if she borrows money from you and doesn't pay it back, sue away! If she backs in to your car and won't pay for your damages, sue away!)

 

[ecmst12]

If your husband wants to sleep around, you asking his mistresses not to contact him isn't going to stop him. He'll just find another one if one stops talking to him. He's proven that to you. He is not ever going to be faithful. You have 2 choices (that won't make you look like an idiot) - accept an unfaithful husband with grace and dignity, or DIVORCE your unfaithful husband with grace and dignity. Harassing his other women, coming on here and screaming and yelling about suing them, that just makes you look like a crazy person. It's time to accept reality and decide whether you would rather keep him INCLUDING his indiscretions or get rid of him. And if you decide to keep him, you need to stop getting upset about the affairs. He's shown you that this is a part of who he is, he has no intention of changing.