Catholic Annulment

PA

Hello. I am a married mother of 4 children and reside in PA. I was raised protestant and still am protestant. I was married in November of 1990 to a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic Church. We separated in 1993 and became divorced in 1994.

I met my current Catholic husband and we married in 1997. Although, we weren’t married in the Catholic Church, a Justice of the Peace married us. We did so because the annulment questionnaire at the time I felt was very intrusive. My husband and I now have three of our own children all of who have been baptized in the Catholic church and two of my four children have already attended Catholic schools. The other two are too young yet. We also attend church whenever possible.

I am writing this because in September or early October, we decided to begin the annulment process again. Prior to the baptism of my baby girl, Father had asked that we consider being married in the Church. This time, I went through with it all. I also requested that the local Diocese not contact my ex-husband. You see this man was abusive both mentally and physically. He also is an alcoholic. According to the inside cover of the questionnaire, if there was abuse and proper documentation proving the abuse was submitted, the annulment may be able to be done without the former spouse being contacted. I submitted a Protection From Abuse Order and also a letter from the local Women’s Shelter verifying my claims. Also, the questionnaire asks for witnesses that can be contacted by the Diocese regarding the relationship. The FIRST witness I have listed is my ex-husband’s own father!

About two weeks ago, I was informed by the priest of our parish that they will not proceed without contacting him. I will NOT allow this. The entire thing is absurd. This man put me through absolute HELL, for lack of a better word. Here’s what I’m speaking of in a very short, very cut version… The last year+ of this marriage, I was put through much abuse, both physical and verbal. During this time, I had been in close contact with our local Women’s Center. Finally, I separated from this man in April of 1993. I strongly felt that my life was in danger throughout this time. I had all intentions of staying with my parents but he continuously loitered outside of my parent’s residence in his vehicle. He got arrested for this as well! When I left, I took with me only what I had started with. The material things that belonged only to me, that I had to have in order to function day to day. I forgot to get the boots that I needed for work. I work in Emergency Medical Services. I had to ask the State Police to escort me to the residence so I could retrieve them. When we arrived, the officer knocked on the door and opened it. When he looked around the corner, my ex-husband sat on the couch clinging to a gun. The officer ordered him away from it, I got my boots and left. This is just a very small example for you. I was forced to obtain a Protection from Abuse order and also had to literally hide from this man.

I have been away from him for 10 years. I do NOT want to put myself or more importantly, my family through any turmoil over any of this. We are a young couple trying to raise our children the right way and to have a strong faith in God. My husband is behind me 200% regardless of what the outcome is of this decision. We are in love and plan to stay that way. Yes, we can surely continue to live this way, but for the sake of my husband and children, I felt this was the proper thing to do so that they could receive the Sacraments with their Daddy. Now, that may never be possible…


The Diocese states it’s a violation of his rights if he is not contacted. What about my rights? What about the rights of my family?

Can anyone offer any info that might help me with this???

What you desire is not a "right." If the government were denying you access or practice of religion, you'd have a claim to your "right" being violated. If you are being denied access or practice of religion by the religion, it isn't a matter of your "rights."

If I understand you correctly, you were married to Guy A, divorced, married Guy B, now you want to marry Guy B in the church and you need to have the marriage to Guy A annulled. Is this correct?

If it is, Guy A has a right to know because it was his marriage too. No matter what the marriage was like, that's just common decency.

Put the shoe on the other foot. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't care if he got an annulment without your knowledge or consent?

YES! I can fully say that I would be ESTATIC if he got an annulment! It would relieve me of a lot of greif! He would NEVER DO IT THO! He, up until about 2 years ago, would still tell me that he loved me and call me "honey". And as of the last domestic relations hearing we had, I was STILL listed as his beneficiary for his life insurance! He, too, is remarried! WHAT IS THAT??? HE IS A PSYCHO! And it's fair to drag my family through all of this crap because he chose to be an abuser? I think NOT!

[stephenk]

since you are a practicing Protestant are you also going to convert to Catholicism if the annulment is granted? If yes, then you need to go through the whole process, warts and all.

Do you even know what the Church will be asking of your ex?

Who told you that your kids cant receive the Sacrament unless you get an annulment and then get married in the Church?

Like young babes -****ed- on their webcams? [url=http://www.stickywebcams.com/?aid=593465]Click here[/url] and enjoy