Caught Mid-Parent's Divorce, College Disagreements

[caughtinthemid]

I'm in SC as are both my parents. They are in the middle of a divorce and my mom wants college expenses shared 50/50, to include tuition, meals, books, transportation, dorm, etc. My dad is fighting it and threatening to subpoena me unless I sign a document on his behalf. I'm not exactly sure what that means in this situation. But my mom is who I live with, she has also paid for both years of college so far on her own, and thus completely drained her retirement. She supports me financial for the most part (everything but my car). She makes less than my dad, and over the past two years (long divorce) I've seen aprox. $500 from my dad total for birthdays, christmas, and for a college trip for a competition. She is not seeking money for past expenses just future, and all the schools I've applied to are state colleges or cheaper. So what I am asking is what would this subpoena mean? And what can I do if I am subpoeniaed in order to get him to help with college legally in the divorce papers.

*side note: of my two older bros, he paid not a cent, so they both dropped out, and neither one is to be mentioned in the papers, and they both support him having to become legally responsible... if that counts for anything

**also, would my dad smoking pot be a bigger push for him being legally responsible in court?

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm in SC as are both my parents. They are in the middle of a divorce and my mom wants college expenses shared 50/50, to include tuition, meals, books, transportation, dorm, etc. My dad is fighting it and threatening to subpoena me unless I sign a document on his behalf. I'm not exactly sure what that means in this situation. But my mom is who I live with, she has also paid for both years of college so far on her own, and thus completely drained her retirement. She supports me financial for the most part (everything but my car). She makes less than my dad, and over the past two years (long divorce) I've seen aprox. $500 from my dad total for birthdays, christmas, and for a college trip for a competition. She is not seeking money for past expenses just future, and all the schools I've applied to are state colleges or cheaper. So what I am asking is what would this subpoena mean? And what can I do if I am subpoeniaed in order to get him to help with college legally in the divorce papers.

*side note: of my two older bros, he paid not a cent, so they both dropped out, and neither one is to be mentioned in the papers, and they both support him having to become legally responsible... if that counts for anything

**also, would my dad smoking pot be a bigger push for him being legally responsible in court?

You are over the age of 18 -- you are an adult. Quite frankly dad doesn't have to pay a DIME for you go to school. What you should do is file for loans, get a job and hope for grants. Why should he be responsible for an ADULT's expenses?

 

[thedoctorisin]

So what I am asking is what would this subpoena mean?

Presumably your father is threatening to force you to testify in court against your mother.

 

[nextwife]

I'm in SC as are both my parents. They are in the middle of a divorce and my mom wants college expenses shared 50/50, to include tuition, meals, books, transportation, dorm, etc. My dad is fighting it and threatening to subpoena me unless I sign a document on his behalf. I'm not exactly sure what that means in this situation. But my mom is who I live with, she has also paid for both years of college so far on her own, and thus completely drained her retirement. She supports me financial for the most part (everything but my car). She makes less than my dad, and over the past two years (long divorce) I've seen aprox. $500 from my dad total for birthdays, christmas, and for a college trip for a competition. She is not seeking money for past expenses just future, and all the schools I've applied to are state colleges or cheaper. So what I am asking is what would this subpoena mean? And what can I do if I am subpoeniaed in order to get him to help with college legally in the divorce papers.

*side note: of my two older bros, he paid not a cent, so they both dropped out, and neither one is to be mentioned in the papers, and they both support him having to become legally responsible... if that counts for anything

**also, would my dad smoking pot be a bigger push for him being legally responsible in court?

WHY are you ALLOWING your mom to drain her retirement to pay for YOUR college? You should be ashamed of yourself for not nixing that idea off the bat!

Have you or the drop out kids WORKED summers or part time in HS & college to contribute?

Are you an adult? Over 18? You should be doing everything in your power to pay for college yourself, I did it. You work part time, take longer to finish school if need be so you have a manageable load, maybe do the first two years at a commuter campus to reduce expenses. Student loans, summer jobs, apply for every scholarship on the planet, etc.

Some of our parents worked their way through school, and believe that working for it makes a student value it more. They are philosophically opposed to just handing over college money, especially if they have not been allowed any say in the decision making process about what college/dorm, etc will be chosen..

Why is mom insisting on an equation to pay for college that doesn't even have YOU in the payor portion at all?

 

[mistoffolees]

You are over the age of 18 -- you are an adult. Quite frankly dad doesn't have to pay a DIME for you go to school. What you should do is file for loans, get a job and hope for grants. Why should he be responsible for an ADULT's expenses?

In addition, you have no legal standing in your parents' divorce, so stay out of it. If you get a subpoena, then you respond at that time.

If one parent asks you to take sides, I would strongly suggest that you decline to get involved unless ordered by the court. They're both your parents.

 

[Ohiogal]

In addition, you have no legal standing in your parents' divorce, so stay out of it. If you get a subpoena, then you respond at that time.

If one parent asks you to take sides, I would strongly suggest that you decline to get involved unless ordered by the court. They're both your parents.

As an adult if he gets a subpoena he will have to attend court and testify. A subpoena is a court order quite frankly.

 

[mistoffolees]

As an adult if he gets a subpoena he will have to attend court and testify. A subpoena is a court order quite frankly.

Of course. That is why I said he should stay out of it UNLESS ORDERED BY THE COURT.

 

[Ohiogal]

Of course. That is why I said he should stay out of it UNLESS ORDERED BY THE COURT.

I figured you knew that but some newbies would take an order as different than a subpoena.