Cheating spouse, text message subpoena?

[irisheyes06]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

Please excuse me if this has been brought up before. I did, however, search the forum before posting and didn't find an answer to my question.
My husband, my mother and I are all on a family plan through Verizon. He went away to the police academy for 9 wks. While there, I noticed on our cell phone bill that he was texting and calling a female in his class a lot. (351 texts in 6 weeks, over 100 calls) He's lied to me on numerous occasions about talking to her, seeing her, etc. Is there a way for my mother to legally obtain (the service is in her name) the actual text of the messages they sent or do I have to get a subpoena? It may sound strange to some, but I need some hard proof that he's cheating before I go further with divorce.

 

[Ohiogal]

That is not adultery so it would not help you get a divorce based on adultery. What would be your purpose of getting the text messages? And yes it would require a subpoena and even then unless phone companies keep records of what EVERY SINGLE text message sent/received says you won't get anywhere.

 

[irisheyes06]

I want the text messages for proof that he cheated. If there are texts like "Oh god the s** we had last night was sooo good." Then I would know for sure that it happened and proceed with divorce. If it's simple conversation then I could move on.

 

[Bali Hai]

I want the text messages for proof that he cheated.

That won't prove anything. How do you know it was him that sent them? How do you know the messages were for a female in his class?

If there are texts like "Oh god the s** we had last night was sooo good."

And how would you know the sex (if any) was between them?

Then I would know for sure that it happened and proceed with divorce.

No you won't know for sure, but you might do him a favor and proceed with the divorce anyway.

If it's simple conversation then I could move on.

You might try handcuffing him and pepper spray or pistol whip a confession out of him.

 

[irisheyes06]

Um, thanks for that? I've read your other posts. People come here because they need answers and advice usually about horrible situations that are currently happening in their lives. Your attitude is less than desired. You should be a little more empathetic with your answers or just not reply at all.

 

[weenor]

You cannot get a subpoena issued without a pending court action. You would have to file for divorce first and then get the subpoena issued by the court. Of course there is still no guarantee that the cell phone company would have such a record, or if they did that anything could be proved. Call the Cheaters show and see if they'll take your case.

 

[stealth2]

Except Bali pretty well hits it on the head. Text messages aren't actually proof of anything. And in all honesty, if that's all you need to decide whether or not to divorce him, your marriage has enough problems that it shouldn't matter one way or the other.

 

[Bali Hai]

Um, thanks for that? I've read your other posts. People come here because they need answers and advice usually about horrible situations that are currently happening in their lives.

This is not a CIA or INTERPOL site.

Your attitude is less than desired.

Well, it's the only one I have.

You should be a little more empathetic with your answers or just not reply at all.

I'm not a psycologist or counselor, but I'll take your comment about just not replying at all under advisement.

 

[Ohiogal]

Um, thanks for that? I've read your other posts. People come here because they need answers and advice usually about horrible situations that are currently happening in their lives. Your attitude is less than desired. You should be a little more empathetic with your answers or just not reply at all.

You have the right answer. You need more than just comments about sex to prove adultery. You can allege it and then try to prove it but based on what you have said you would fail. You are going to want to divorce for another reason.

 

[LdiJ]

You have the right answer. You need more than just comments about sex to prove adultery. You can allege it and then try to prove it but based on what you have said you would fail. You are going to want to divorce for another reason.

I think that we have perhaps misunderstood her. My impression is that she doesn't want a divorce UNLESS he has been cheating. Therefore she wants proof of cheating (if any) to make her decision regarding divorce, rather than for court purposes.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think that we have perhaps misunderstood her. My impression is that she doesn't want a divorce UNLESS he has been cheating. Therefore she wants proof of cheating (if any) to make her decision regarding divorce, rather than for court purposes.

Well she apparently doesn't trust him enough NOT to cheat. Hence why I stated there is another reason for divorce -- lack of trust and looking for proof to get out. My question is why does OP want the proof in order to get out? Alimony? Property?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

Please excuse me if this has been brought up before. I did, however, search the forum before posting and didn't find an answer to my question.
My husband, my mother and I are all on a family plan through Verizon. He went away to the police academy for 9 wks. While there, I noticed on our cell phone bill that he was texting and calling a female in his class a lot. (351 texts in 6 weeks, over 100 calls) He's lied to me on numerous occasions about talking to her, seeing her, etc. Is there a way for my mother to legally obtain (the service is in her name) the actual text of the messages they sent or do I have to get a subpoena? It may sound strange to some, but I need some hard proof that he's cheating before I go further with divorce.

Simple answer (sort of buried in the responses you already got:

1. You can not get the information without a court order. To get a court order, either a crime must have been committed or you file for divorce FIRST.

2. Even if you get a court order, it is unlikely that Verizon (or anyone else) keeps copies of text messages. They simply are not normally recorded.

 

[LdiJ]

Simple answer (sort of buried in the responses you already got:

1. You can not get the information without a court order. To get a court order, either a crime must have been committed or you file for divorce FIRST.

2. Even if you get a court order, it is unlikely that Verizon (or anyone else) keeps copies of text messages. They simply are not normally recorded.

I disagree with the your point number one. Its her mother's plan and phones for her and her husband were added to her mom's family plan. Therefore her mother can get any detail on the account that she wants. She does not need a subpeona.

However, I agree that its highly unlikely that the provider could provide copies of the text messages.