Child Custody

[melissa__46]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama
I will finally be filing for divorce Monday Feb.2 after 15 months of seperation. As some of you have read my other posts you know this is going to be a long ordeal because my inlaws are wanting to take my kids away. Little update and question, over christmas break my hopefully soon to be ex went hunting with his dad and when they came home they unloaded the truck and left everything on the couch. They left my 3 and 5 year old in the house and left a loaded gun sitting there. My 3 year old picked it up and shot a hole in the wall and through the couch. He could have so easily killed himself or my daughter. They didnt tell me about it.....my son (3 yo) told me when he got home. I had my father call and find out the details, I was too upset. When I could talk to the ex about it a few days later I asked him if they got the guns out of the house or locked them up or anything. He stated" no we aint gonna do nothing different, stuff happens". Ok, so I wouldnt let my kids go back over there until they had a lock on the door to the room with the gun cabinet.
We dont have a custody settled so I couldnt just say they werent allowed to go back.
Im wondering if this is going to help me in proving that I am the safest and more responsible parent.
Did I do the right thing in not letting them go back until locks were put in place or should I have not let them go at all?
And lastly, I am going to go for Sole Joint Custody now instead of True Joint, is that the right choice?

 

[mistoffolees]

First, did you call Child Protective Services? You should have. If you didn't, you're going to have a hard time proving anything. A 3 year old may not remember much after several months have passed - and may not be believed even then.

It comes down to what you can PROVE, not what you have to say. If your father witnessed anything with his own eyes (or heard anything with his own ears), he will probably be able to testify. Note that he may be perceived as biased, though.

Also, the rules of evidence in a custody hearing are somewhat looser than in a criminal trial. While a 3 year old wouldn't be able to testify in either, you MIGHT be able to get the judge to order a child custody evaluation where a child custody expert would be appointed and would talk with the child.

You should also get your terminology straight so you know what to ask for. There's no such thing as 'sole joint custody' nor is there a 'true joint custody'. There are two considerations in terms of custody:

1. Legal custody. This is the legal right to make decisions for the child(ren). Has nothing to do with where the child lives.
2. Physical custody. Where the child lives. A loose term, though, because if you have sole physical custody, the child(ren) could still spend a lot of time with the father. So sole physical custody could mean you have them from just over half the year to virtually every night. So it is meaningless to discuss sole physical custody without having a visitation plan, as well.

 

[melissa__46]

I meant sole legal custody actually. I called my lawyer and told him about the gun thing, his suggestion was get a loan and come file for divorce. If i could have gotten a loan I wouldnt be 15 months into a seperation. My dad just wasnt there, just called and asked him about it and my ex told him. He said thier reason for not telling me was I would be upset. I dont even have toy guns in my house, I dont let the kids play with them. But no I didnt go to child services.

 

[Ohiogal]

I meant sole legal custody actually. I called my lawyer and told him about the gun thing, his suggestion was get a loan and come file for divorce. If i could have gotten a loan I wouldnt be 15 months into a seperation. My dad just wasnt there, just called and asked him about it and my ex told him. He said thier reason for not telling me was I would be upset. I dont even have toy guns in my house, I dont let the kids play with them. But no I didnt go to child services.

Your father can testify about what your ex told him. There are no court orders at this juncture? Then don't let the children return at this point and call CPS now to report the incident. Also call the police and report the incident.

 

[LdiJ]

Your father can testify about what your ex told him. There are no court orders at this juncture? Then don't let the children return at this point and call CPS now to report the incident. Also call the police and report the incident.

I agree. Its a serious issue and not something that should be ignored. A tot getting ahold of a loaded gun and shooting it is an indication of serious neglect on the part of dad and his father. Dad's "we aren't going to change anything, stuff happens" is unacceptable.

Nearly every day in the news we hear about some child, in some state, who killed another child because they got their hands on a loaded gun.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree. Its a serious issue and not something that should be ignored. A tot getting ahold of a loaded gun and shooting it is an indication of serious neglect on the part of dad and his father. Dad's "we aren't going to change anything, stuff happens" is unacceptable.

Nearly every day in the news we hear about some child, in some state, who killed another child because they got their hands on a loaded gun.

There were many laws most likely broken including reckless discharge of a gone, child endangerment, and various others. MOM NEEDS TO REPORT IT TO THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY. Hopefully she has NOT let the children return to dad since then.

 

[CourtClerk]

There were many laws most likely broken including reckless discharge of a gone...

Of a gun too...

 

[Ohiogal]

Of a gun too...

Yeah that too. Hey BUBBA SHOT THE JUKEBOX!