Confused

[lstort]

I have been finding a lot of conflicting information regarding legal separation and divorce in New York. One site says that you have to be legally separated for a minimum of one year before you can get divorced, another says that you can file for a legal separation even after you have filed for divorce. So which one is it? We do not fit any of the grounds for divorce.

 

[stealth2]

You need to file for a legal separation, wait for a year, the file for divorce.

 

[lstort]

Thank you for your reply. That does bother me though. Why is it that the state can force people to stay married even if that is not what they want? I have been married for 18 years and unhappy for 13 of those years, but trying to make it work, hoping something would change. It's not working and nothing has changed and still the state of new york can force me to remain married for yet another year before I can even file for a divorce. What is the purpose of this?

 

[Bali Hai]

Thank you for your reply. That does bother me though. Why is it that the state can force people to stay married even if that is not what they want? I have been married for 18 years and unhappy for 13 of those years, but trying to make it work, hoping something would change. It's not working and nothing has changed and still the state of new york can force me to remain married for yet another year before I can even file for a divorce. What is the purpose of this?

Marriage is the bedrock that stabilizes our country's financial institutions.

The conservative traditional view is that if people are married, they're responsibility is enhanced and therefore keeps the financial machine running more efficiently.

New York is one of the more backward states when it comes to divorce. You don't believe that unfair property settlements and alimony favoring women in this state are just an accident, do you?

 

[weenor]

Marriage is the bedrock that stabilizes our country's financial institutions.

The conservative traditional view is that if people are married, they're responsibility is enhanced and therefore keeps the financial machine running more efficiently.

New York is one of the more backward states when it comes to divorce. You don't believe that unfair property settlements and alimony favoring women in this state are just an accident, do you?

I will add that the state gives the right to marry in the first subject to constitutional restrictions...so the state has the right to establish dissolution procedures for the right it gave you in the first place... Ever heard the old Bill Cobsy joke to the effect that "I brought you into this world and can take you out"?

 

[Bali Hai]

I will add that the state gives the right to marry in the first subject to constitutional restrictions...so the state has the right to establish dissolution procedures for the right it gave you in the first place... Ever heard the old Bill Cobsy joke to the effect that "I brought you into this world and can take you out"?

Good point. We the people give that "right" to the state. I'm sure nobody envisioned the state to autocratically formulate a life of its own.

 

[LdiJ]

Good point. We the people give that "right" to the state. I'm sure nobody envisioned the state to autocratically formulate a life of its own.

The state didn't autocratically form a life of its own. "We the people did" when the constitution of the state was voted in. "We the people did" every time they voted (or choose not to vote) for the state legislators that make the laws or sponsor new ones or amendments. "We the people" are 100% responsible for the government of their state. They control what happens by their votes.

If "we the people" don't like what is going on, then "we the people" need to make an effort to effect change. "We the people" need to take elections seriously, seriously study the candidates, and vote for the person they believe will do the best job.

 

[Bali Hai]

The state didn't autocratically form a life of its own. "We the people did" when the constitution of the state was voted in. "We the people did" every time they voted (or choose not to vote) for the state legislators that make the laws or sponsor new ones or amendments. "We the people" are 100% responsible for the government of their state. They control what happens by their votes.

If "we the people" don't like what is going on, then "we the people" need to make an effort to effect change. "We the people" need to take elections seriously, seriously study the candidates, and vote for the person they believe will do the best job.

That's my MOM!!

 

[i2mscrewed]

The state didn't autocratically form a life of its own. "We the people did" when the constitution of the state was voted in. "We the people did" every time they voted (or choose not to vote) for the state legislators that make the laws or sponsor new ones or amendments. "We the people" are 100% responsible for the government of their state. They control what happens by their votes.

If "we the people" don't like what is going on, then "we the people" need to make an effort to effect change. "We the people" need to take elections seriously, seriously study the candidates, and vote for the person they believe will do the best job.

Then again, don't assume that the person that "we the people" voted to put in office will actually do what "we the people" believed that person stood for.