Considering Bigamy?

[Chiaro]

I am in the process of divorcing my husband. The marriage was in PA and we now live in VA. We've been separated for over a year and I know it's just a matter of time for the courts to process the divorce, but because my lawyer fell asleep on the job for a month (he misplaced my mail and assumed he'd never gotten it) I am in something of a hurry. I want to get married again, and though I know that this would be bigamy if I don't wait, my fiance and several of our friends are saying that it's no big deal because we're in the process of getting a divorce and my husband wouldn't press charges. That makes sense, and even if our marriage was void, I guess we could always get married again after the divorce was final. I don't know, the whole thing sounds troublesome at best. Can someone please advise me as to how big a deal this is? I mean would this cause serious trouble in the long run? The date is set, what should I do?

 

[HomeGuru]

Wait until the judge signs the divorce decree.

 

[usmcfamily]

Well, not only would your 2nd marriage be null and void but you would also be perpetrating fraud on the state that you obtain the license in (there IS a spot where you state that niether party is currently married or has any other reason they shouldn't marry!!!). Do fraud charges sound like "no big deal" - not to me. Besides - as you yourself said "we can always get married AGAIN....." well if you know you will have to do that then why not just wait the time and get married after the divorce IS final and avoid the hassle and expense of two marriages??
You are very right in thinking this whole thing is troublesome at best -- and illegal at worst! You need to reschedule your wedding!

 

[kat1963]

Let's see...hmmm...what state would have jurisdiction..probably Virginia!!!!!! Oh, look!!! I'm pretty sure it IS a felony!!! So, ya, go ahead, do it. The only thing you'll give up is a few months in the slammer, fine not to exceed 10 grand, you won't be able to vote, own a handgun, obtain any job that requires a security clearance, hold a professional license, run for public office.....

Come on now, you hardly sound stupid. I KNOW you KNOW the answer to this question!!!!!

KAT

 

[Chiaro]

Okay, I KNOW all of that. I tried not to get personal, but the fact is, we're not in a big hurry to get married just because we have no patience. My husband has never paid child support (and shows no intent to ever pay) or provide our children with health insurance (which the court decreed that he should do). Therefore, my kids have no insurance and are getting tired, frankly, of eating Ramen Noodles and Kraft mac and cheese so that Mommy can pay the rent. My fiance is more than willing to help raise my kids and we are all entitled to his health insurance and housing... provided he and I marry. In the meantime, while I wait for my divorce to finalize (who knows how long that will take) I'm just barely getting by fearing that another car brakedown, broken leg or illness will put us on the street (where we'll be in July in any case as my lease is up and the house I live in is being sold). Apparently I make too much for social services, but not enough for 3 people to live on. What I really need to know is... If neither my new or old husband cares, who will? And how would they find out. I'm approaching the end of my rope.

 

[usmcfamily]

your mention of "housing" has me curious -- your fiancee isn't military is he? Because if he is and you do this you are not only opening yourself up to legal issues but endangering his entire career and that would not be a very good way of securing your future, now would it?
Have you got NO friends or family that can help you until things are finalized and you can make your new start legally? I know all about making too much but not making enough -- BTDT!!! But I just don't see it being worth the risks you would be taking -- after all, who will care for your children in the even that they do "find out".........considering what you stand to lose I don't think that is a chance worth taking.

 

[Chiaro]

Thanks, but no, I have no one. My parents dies last year, my grandmother is in a nursing home and unable to care even for herself and any friends I had during the 11 years I was married have been charmed into believing my husband's lies and turning their backs on me. I have only my fiance and his family and they can barely afford to support themselves.

 

[usmcfamily]

You didn't answer the ? about your fiancees job -- if he IS military you would be committing FRAUD ON THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!!!! That is a MAJOR "glitch" to consider.........I am not trying to frighten you only to make you realize what a major issue this could become for all of you -- you, your fiancee and your children (since IF this became an issue the both of you could be imprisoned and unable to care for them and you yourself said you "have no one" so they would go to your ex or the state......it really is NOT worth that risk, is it?)

 

[kat1963]

Yeah, it's military...right? That even compounds the seriousness of what can happen...why can't your boyfriend help you out financially until you can be LEGALLY married? Use coupons, sell on e-bay, do some mystery shopping to make some extra cash. NOTHING worthwhile is ever easy in this life Hon. You don't want the consequences of being stupid. If you've been legally separated for a year in VA it should only be a matter of months before your order is signed by the judge. DO NOT DO THIS. Ahhhhh....as a Navy contractor, how about if I ask one of the commanders just want the penalty would be? But then again, isn't just knowing there will be one ENOUGH???!
KAT

 

[usmcfamily]

Kat~~
I would think that just knowing would be enough too....lol.....anyway, DH is Admin/Legal Chief in the USMC and I forwarded the post to him (he is deployed at the moment) to see what the answer would be and believe me the reprecussions for said military member would be PLENTY! To marry fraudulantly for the benefits would be considered THEFT (those benefits cost the govt money to provide and to take them illegally is theft) from the FEDERAL GOVERNEMENT! (that alone would scare me enough if I were her - but then again I wouldn't be considering this anyway) He will face a dishonarable discharge, possible brig time, have to pay back the cost of the benefits and then some, forever have the discharge hanging over his head which will greatly impede his ability to attain gainful employment in the civillian world - the list goes on and on.
I think you made some excellent suggestions -- my thoughts exactly...........I only hope that they take them to heart............

 

[kat1963]

usmcfamily:
I'd be willing to bet you are right!!!!! Can't wait to hear what your hubby has to say on this one. And ohhh yaaaaaasirreee, it will haunt him forever. He'd never be able to get a security clearance thats for sure, in any job. Heck I just had to tell this guy yesterday that he couldn't be hired because he had a BK 12 years ago. I think our poster is going on the fact that no one would be the wiser. However, as we both know, it only takes one person who doesn't like you, or who doesn't like games being played in order to gain benefits to turn you in.....a friend of a friend of friend...who knows. Word gets around.
I really hope she reconsiders.

KAT