Contribute to house expenses?

[CTTeach]

What is the name of your state? Massachusetts

My husband and I are separated, and going through a divorce. We agreed on a few things that he needs to make payments on, including his expensive car payment....but the judge didn't order him to make any household payments whatsoever. We own this house together - lived in it our entire 12 year marriage. So he continues to accrue equity in the house, yet doesn't have to pay for it? House is worth about $400k - we owe about $85k.

He earns about $100k, and I earn about $65k. No kids. His lawyer argued that we should both have to maintain our own residences....and I understand that. But how can he continue to earn equity on something he isn't paying for? Will this come out later when we get down to the nitty-gritty of our finances? When we divide everything up?

I never believed this could happen - I figured he'd have to contribue something. Any ideas to help me understand this decision? Is this common? I know MA is an equitable distribution state - and my husband has $350k in retirement to my $120k.

As we were leaving court recently, my soon to be ex said I would never get any alimony - which surprised me greatly, as I wasn't even considering it. I would have to guess I don't qualify, right? Someone told me that MA is very generous regarding alimony.

Thanks - WendyWhat is the name of your state?

[nextwife]

HIs equity accrues because he does NOT have it to reinvest in another property/another investment.. The $207,000 that is his share could be earning interest if it were not tyed up in the house.

[Ohiogal]

What nextwife said as well as the fact that you are enjoying the fruits of having the house to live in while the divorce is going through while he does not and has to pay for another place to live while the divorce is going on even though he owns the home as well. He is not getting a free ride -- he has to pay rent which may be comparable to what you pay for a house payment.

Why should you get alimony? YOu earn a more than liveable wage and will get an equitable distribution of the marital property.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

What nextwife said as well as the fact that you are enjoying the fruits of having the house to live in while the divorce is going through while he does not and has to pay for another place to live while the divorce is going on even though he owns the home as well. He is not getting a free ride -- he has to pay rent which may be comparable to what you pay for a house payment.

Why should you get alimony? YOu earn a more than liveable wage and will get an equitable distribution of the marital property.

Both these issues are at the courts broad discretion.

The husband will learn to control himself and keep his mouth shut about alimony in the future.

And I don't believe OP's playing dumb dissertation about the alimony as far as any woman here can throw a bull by the tail.

[Ohiogal]

Bali,
Again your bitterness is showing. You could be very helpful if you weren't so anti-woman.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Bali,
Again your bitterness is showing. You could be very helpful if you weren't so anti-woman.

How can I be pro-husband without being anti-woman?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

How can I be pro-husband without being anti-woman?

How about being pro equality?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

How about being pro equality?

I would gladly do that after every divorce court judge in this country does.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by CTTeach

What is the name of your state? Massachusetts

My husband and I are separated, and going through a divorce. We agreed on a few things that he needs to make payments on, including his expensive car payment....but the judge didn't order him to make any household payments whatsoever. We own this house together - lived in it our entire 12 year marriage. So he continues to accrue equity in the house, yet doesn't have to pay for it? House is worth about $400k - we owe about $85k.

He earns about $100k, and I earn about $65k. No kids. His lawyer argued that we should both have to maintain our own residences....and I understand that. But how can he continue to earn equity on something he isn't paying for? Will this come out later when we get down to the nitty-gritty of our finances? When we divide everything up?

I never believed this could happen - I figured he'd have to contribue something. Any ideas to help me understand this decision? Is this common? I know MA is an equitable distribution state - and my husband has $350k in retirement to my $120k.

As we were leaving court recently, my soon to be ex said I would never get any alimony - which surprised me greatly, as I wasn't even considering it. I would have to guess I don't qualify, right? Someone told me that MA is very generous regarding alimony.

Thanks - WendyWhat is the name of your state?

If you feel he should either be paying a portion of the mortgage, move out and fund your own home then sell the marital home. OR, move out and allow him to take up residence.

Simple.

[mjcrules]

Your only hope (and a slim one) is to argue you could have left and put both party's credit in the dumptster. Ohiogal's correct with the, you would have had to pay for housing anyway theory. If rents are comparable to your mortgage, you're sol. If you take the interest and taxes 100% as a deduction on your tax return, your position of, I deserve a setoff for the equity payments I made on his behalf, deteriorates further. You might throw it out on the negotiation table, but dont be surprised if there is little discussion or inclusion in any settlement.