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Defamation?

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antiquenut

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Maine

Hi, I am wondering about a defamation suit against a female 'friend' of my soon to be ex-husband. According to my husband of 29 years, this woman expressed an interest in him before he decided to tell me that he wanted a divorce. Since this announcement, she has pursued him on and off for the past 10 months. My husband and I are now entering the settlement stage. During these past emotional and painful months, this woman would call my husband at night and send text messages after we had gone to bed(he left his phone on in the room). At this time we were trying to figure out if we should try to revive the marriage. This woman also sent me an email telling me of her vast experience in these matters and that I should get therapy and move on. I then intercepted an email from her to my husband, accusing me of having multiple affairs (totally not true, faithful all this time) that I was a user and good for nothing. She continued to send him emails telling him that I am a liar and whatever else she thinks I am. I am trying to make the divorce process as peaceful as possible. This woman caused me so much pain throughout this process, loss of work, loss of everything! Now I am just ticked off that she has defamed me so to my husband and who knows who else. By the way, I have never met this woman. I have the written proof of these accusations. Advice?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
Talk to your husband and quit worrying about her.

He can block her phone number. He can send her email to the spam filter. No one is making him listen.

She is free to say anything she wants about you. (if she were knowingly making libelous statements and affecting your job, for example, you MIGHT have a case - albeit a very weak one - but since you admit that she's saying what she believes, you don't have a case).

She is also free to contact your husband. Unless there's a restraining order against her, she can call your husband, send him emails, or even knock on your door. If it rises to the level of harrassment, you MIGHT be able to get a restraining order, but that's hard when no one's life has been threatened.

Bottom line is that if your husband is serious about saving your marriage, it is up to HIM to put a stop to the communications, not the courts.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Although I agree with Mistoffolees' bottom line, she is incorrect when saying that this woman is free to say whatever she wants about you if she believes it to be true.

If the statements are false and they harm your reputation (even if there is no economic harm), it is defamation. Belief in the truth of the statements is a very weak defense to making false and injurious statements without facts to support this belief. If the statements make it out of emails to your husband and are communicated to others in the community, then you could have an action to pursue.

But, as was said in your other thread in the Defamation section of the forum and as it stands now based on the information in your post, you do not appear to have all of the elements necessary to make any defamation action against this woman successful.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
If the statements are false and they harm your reputation (even if there is no economic harm), it is defamation. Belief in the truth of the statements is a very weak defense to making false and injurious statements without facts to support this belief. If the statements make it out of emails to your husband and are communicated to others in the community, then you could have an action to pursue.
Yet her belief that the statements are true IS a defense as I said.

In practice, there's absolutely no way that OP is going to win a defamation suit based on 'my husband's friend says I'm a liar'. It's not going to happen and it's not worth pursuing. Better to deal with her husband - who CAN control it.
 

quincy

Senior Member
A defense that generally won't work, Mistoffolees.

You said, "..she's saying what she believes, you don't have a case." That is not true. Saying what you believe to be true, if it is false, is not, on its own, a defamation defense that will protect you from losing a suit.

An example: "I believe he is a child molester." That statement could cost the speaker a lot money if it is false. The fact that the speaker "believes" it to be true does not eliminate the reputational harm caused by such a statement. "Belief in the truth of a statement" can be used as a defense, but the defense will not work without supporting facts - for instance, an arrest on child molestation charges.

And the woman is not calling antiquenut a "liar" - which is a statement that is, under most circumstances, not defamatory. The woman is falsely accusing antiquenut of drug use and affairs. Those ARE defamatory statements and can result in a defamation lawsuit that could be successful for antiquenut, under the right circumstances (which do not seem to exist here).

So, your bottom line - that antiquenut does not have a defamation action worth pursuing based on what is written here - is correct. Your reasons for her not having a defamation action are, however, wrong.
 
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