deployed soldier left

[momf]

What is the name of your state? Georgia
My son is currently deployed to Kuwait. In the last week he has been told by his wife that she is not "happy" and maybe they should not have gotten married. They have not been married a year and he has been gone 7 months. What are his rights and what steps can we as parents do to help protect him. He feels that the marriage is over. She has changed her number and email.
Thanks for any advice

[MFinancier]

Originally Posted by momf

What is the name of your state? Georgia
My son is currently deployed to Kuwait. In the last week he has been told by his wife that she is not "happy" and maybe they should not have gotten married. They have not been married a year and he has been gone 7 months. What are his rights and what steps can we as parents do to help protect him. He feels that the marriage is over. She has changed her number and email.
Thanks for any advice

Your son has special protection under the Service Members Civil Relief Act. He cannot be held in default while on active duty for any lawsuits (including divorce)...but you must make the court aware that he is on active duty if his wife files for divorce. He can also request to have the petition "stayed" until 60 days after he returns from active duty if he chooses. However...if divorce is inevitable keep in mind he will be better off speeding it up and getting it over with ASAP to protect himself from additional claims on any other benefits. Military divorces can be complicated and there are jurisdictional issues so you should start looking for an attorney who has handled military divorces! Also Google Military Divorces...there are a ton off web sites that will help you...including the JAGC.NET.ARMY.MIL Good Luck

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by momf

What is the name of your state? Georgia
My son is currently deployed to Kuwait. In the last week he has been told by his wife that she is not "happy" and maybe they should not have gotten married. They have not been married a year and he has been gone 7 months. What are his rights and what steps can we as parents do to help protect him. He feels that the marriage is over. She has changed her number and email.
Thanks for any advice

Protect him from what? They have been married less than a year so there is not much to protect. Please outline your concerns.

[Zephyr]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Protect him from what? They have been married less than a year so there is not much to protect. Please outline your concerns.

The biggest thing that I can think of is her incurring debt in their names jointly....I've seen a LOT of that.....

[MFinancier]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Protect him from what? They have been married less than a year so there is not much to protect. Please outline your concerns.

I suspect that was meant in a broader "Motherly" sense. She has a son in harms way who now has to worry about a woman who couldn't stand by her man for more than seven months! Now he's dodging bullets for all of us with that in the back of his mind. The worst thing is he's getting tax free combat pay because Kuwait is a designated war zone...and he is splitting it with a woman who has changed her number and email! God forbid anything should happen to him and this woman would get any survivor benefits. Coming from a military family...this kinda stuff really makes me upset!

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by MFinancier

I suspect that was meant in a broader "Motherly" sense. She has a son in harms way who now has to worry about a woman who couldn't stand by her man for more than seven months! Now he's dodging bullets for all of us with that in the back of his mind. The worst thing is he's getting tax free combat pay because Kuwait is a designated war zone...and he is splitting it with a woman who has changed her number and email! God forbid anything should happen to him and this woman would get any survivor benefits. Coming from a military family...this kinda stuff really makes me upset!

This is insignificant because the major concern is "women's rights"!!

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Protect him from what? They have been married less than a year so there is not much to protect. Please outline your concerns.

Let's say he lets the divorce proceed now after one year of marriage. She will be entitled to some portion of his retirement account plus half of any assets they accumulate during the year.

Now, let's say he stalls it for another year. That means that she will be entitled to a greater portion of his retirement account plus half of any assets that accumulate during 2 years. Plus, he'll end up paying half of any debt she accrues.

Of course, this could go both ways. If she's making considerably more money than he is, then he might be better off to delay it (plus there's always a chance that she would change her mind after he's back home.

[MFinancier]

In my haste to post on something that is very upsetting to me...I made an incorrect comment. I want to clarify that as LdiJ has pointed out...this is a short term marriage! The woman in question here has not been married to OP's son for more than ten years so she does not qualify to recieve any future retirement benefits directly from DOD. Furthermore, OP's son most likely has much less than twenty years of service...so he is substantially unvested, and a state court would be unlikely to order an offset for any portion of future retirement benefits to this woman. I apologize for the comment about speeding up the divorce to reduce claims on his retirement benefits! What I should have said was "ANY" other benefits. I have edited my original post.

[LdiJ]

I was hoping that the OP would respond with her specific concerns. The two possible concerns I can think of are 1) her running up debt and 2) her possibly having his POA.

He can minimize the debt issue by canceling credit cards and things of that nature...and he can revoke his POA.

[acmb05]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I was hoping that the OP would respond with her specific concerns. The two possible concerns I can think of are 1) her running up debt and 2) her possibly having his POA.

He can minimize the debt issue by canceling credit cards and things of that nature...and he can revoke his POA.

I would also have mom or dad go to their bank and see if they can open a savings account for him since he is on Active duty overseas. If possible he could then have at least half of his pay go into that account and the other half go into the joint account that she has access to. This way when he returns home he will have at least some money in the bank. Either way he needs to figure out a way to limit her access to all of his money.