desperate in alabama

[SisterSavior]

What is the name of your state? alabama
ok heres my situation have been married for 15 yrs almost we have 3 girls 7 months being youngest.. over years our marriage to me had depreciated on my end due to him saying i was sleeping around with who know and last year i was in a threatened miscarriage and had just got out of hospital like 2 weeks before he got me in his mustang and went 123 mph down a small curvey county road which scared my to death and all that and i dewcided then and there i have had enough yet i never said anything about any divorce till this year when my attitude towards hime had changed(accusing me of cheating and all that stuff yet again)and i told him if i ever had any love for him was gone last year after that pregnancy incident..anyways my predicament id i have been a stay at home mom for 4 months no income he is paying bills now yet barely leaves me with enough to get food and for med emergencies for girls and said that my gas for work money is my prob cause i decided that i wanted the divorce and our lease is u in 2 months on rental and my income alone will not pay for gas food rent and utilities and besides i cannot move out cause after i pay for food and gas form my money when i do get paycheck(i got job today no pay check till 2 weeks) i will have to get food and gas cause he said he dunno when hes gonna pay anything said hed pay his bils fist then hell give me some money if any is left.all i know is hes not renewing lease on home and i cant move kids out on no money and hes a truck driver and gone 6 days a week.we agreed on what he would pay on child support and all that and i cannot even pay lawer to get things rolling cause in hubs eyes he doesnt have to pay child support till its on court paper ordered to.and he still comes to this home when hes in cause he says he pays rent so hell sleep there if he awnts to and so legally am not seperated so i dunno what to do cause he's like mentally messing with my head says one thing then gets spiteful and starts on something else.... any advice???????????????????????/

 

[snostar]

Your husbands right twice, he doesn't have to pay child support until ordered by a court, and yes, he can sleep in his home. No, your not legally separated. Do a search on google for alabama legal divorce forms.

 

[SisterSavior]

so ok yea he picked up those ez divorce papers from home office depot or where ever.ok so we can go hungry and all that cause he decides he has no obligation to help?i mean i have been a in home caretaker not makihn any money so now its my problem i know to get job i just did that today but hes nbot obligated to help feed kids him knowing we have no money?

 

[snostar]

LEGALLY he is not obligated to provide you with anything at this point. Find a friend, family member to help or a shelter until you can get the divorced settled.

 

[SisterSavior]

yea right thats an idea when i have no friends or family but w/e ill deal with it as it comes

 

[snostar]

i have no friends

Now, I couldn't possibly imagine why that is.

 

[SisterSavior]

well i dunno maybe cause all my friends my hub hates and to busy with kids and he runs off my friends with an attitude

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Ok while it may understandable that you are upset you came here for legal advice. Yet, when given you scream and pout. What you really wanted was someone to wave a magical wand and poof all your troubles are solved. That is not going to happen. Leaving him will not be easy it will be a struggle. You decide if you are going to make it harder though. There are womens shelter if need be and other avenues. But if you are looking for ways to make him financially responsible then you must file for divorce or legal seperation. If he is as bad as you say he is then expect to have to struggle at first. Just don't go giving smart butt remarks to those who tried to answer your questions with the correct legal answers.

 

[SisterSavior]

Ok while it may understandable that you are upset you came here for legal advice. Yet, when given you scream and pout. What you really wanted was someone to wave a magical wand and poof all your troubles are solved. That is not going to happen. Leaving him will not be easy it will be a struggle. You decide if you are going to make it harder though. There are womens shelter if need be and other avenues. But if you are looking for ways to make him financially responsible then you must file for divorce or legal seperation. If he is as bad as you say he is then expect to have to struggle at first. Just don't go giving smart butt remarks to those who tried to answer your questions with the correct legal answers.

ok i was not giving smart remarks thank you and yea i will file divorce when i can get money to get a lawyer and yea when i can find someone to take me i ahve always gotten by and no i knew it will be a struggle till finalized but those kids are much his as mine and they do still live under his roof and he still sees them on weekends so yea a lil food money would be nice for them.

can i not seek laywer for a like temporary support while divorce is in process and all is agreed on things?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

yea right thats an idea when i have no friends or family but w/e ill deal with it as it comes

That is a smart butt response I am sorry and so is your next post that you gave. I am sorry you can't see that.

 

[SisterSavior]

well i appologize if it seems that way but i am in A state of wreck at moment over things and am just worried about my childrens well being at time so sorry if i am sounding like a whiner am just emotionally upset at moment.............. so i will ask very nicely ........... all i want to know now is does anyone know how long you have to be seperated and if legally in alabama ? and if you can file for temporary support during divorce procedures ?

 

[BethM]

My sister was divorced in the state of alabama. It was a nightmare because the states legal system is so archaic.

In your situation you need to call your local legal aid office. In the prdicament you are in you probably qualify for such help. Get them on the phone and explain what is going on. If they can't help you they will refer you to local attorneys who do free consulations.

In the state of alabama, once the divorce is filed your attorney can request a hearing to set interim support for the children...maintenance until the final hearing.

Another thing you can do, until you can afford an attorney is call your local courthouse and speak to the court clerk. You can probably file the paper work needed to get the ball rolling. The court clerk will be able to tell you exactly what you can do to legally protect yourself and your children.

I understand being afraid and having children and wondering where the money is going to come from. It's a huge amount of fear to deal with. At times our fears can cause us to sound a bit defensive. That defensiveness is what keeps us from getting what we need at times. Be afraid, you have every right to be but also be humble. People are drawn to humility and want to help...they run from defensiveness. Good luck.