Did not get served with divorce papers

[sweetcfcaligal]

What is the name of your state? California

I recently received divorce papers at the beginning of December from my husband (which he left in my screen door - they were not delivered to me by way of ceritified mail).

There are many things that I do not agree with on them and have circled those things to have changed but mainly I received one sheet that had 2 post it notes asking me to sign and date back to July 2003. He filed in June 2003 but I was not served - at least once a month I asked him when I would be served, his only answer was that we did have a case number and I should receive the divorce papers in December. I kept telling him that I needed to be served because in the courts eyes, how would they know that I agreed to the divorce, wanted the divorce or was even alive. This single document basically says that I was served in July 2003 and I am asked to sign and date it that way - but I NEVER was. I am not going to sign my name and lie and because of that, he says that our divorce will not be final until June 2004.

My instincts tell me to have his mediator redo the paperwork and state that I received the divorce papers in December 2003 (or January 2003 - once they rewrite them) and wait another 6 months. Why do you think I am being asked to lie about this, is there something he can get from me or do to me?

 

[dequeendistress]

Do you have an attorney? My guess is no.

 

[JETX]

This is really simple.... do NOT predate the documents. You can simply refuse to sign them as presented, or (and I suggest this), simply strike through any date where you have to sign and write in the CORRECT date.

Let him argue why you were served so late. (Personally, I am willing to bet he wants that earlier date because he has either already remarried or is wanting to.)

 

[dequeendistress]

Bigamist!

 

[sweetcfcaligal]

Divorce Papers

Thank you for that advise, I will do exactly what you said.

I actually did have a lawyer in the beginning (in case he decided to try and take the house or anything else) but didn't need her because my soon to be ex signed a drop claim on our house and everything else was going to be non-contested.

My other question to you is that in the divorce papers (that I have not signed yet) it states that I agree not go after his social security or any alimony, 401k, etc., is this smart? He wanted the divorce, which I am giving him but I have a terminal illness and although I may not need help now, I might need it someday. I do need to look out for my best interests, just as he was looking out for his when he decided to leave, should I ask for alimony and if so how much is fair?

 

[JETX]

"is this smart?"
*** In my opinion, no. It is never 'smart' to limit your options, especially considering that you may have a right to part of the benefits.

"should I ask for alimony and if so how much is fair?"
*** Of course, no one can answer that for you without a COMPLETE review of all of the issues including finances, obligations, etc.

 

[sweetcfcaligal]

Is it true that in the state of California the person that makes more money in the marriage must pay for all legal fees? Also, if this is true and I get a lawyer, do I start billing my ex for all of the hours?

Is it your advice that I should get my own lawyer and find out what I am entitled to and then go from there?

 

[stephenk]

1. no
2. no
3. yes