disabled and now divorce?

[migraine]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Calif.
Here is the background:

I have married for 25 years and we have two kids 18 and 15
I have been on SSDI for the past 7 years due to "degnerative bone disease". It's not getting better
I receive approx $1000 per mo. and our kids receive $271 each. My wife makes an income of approx $60k with bonuses.
We have 2 homes and one will barely sell to pay off the mortgage and our credit cards. The other is currently worth what we owe. (There goes $80k in equity).
I really don't see the marriage repairable. The argueing and blaming over our past decisions has torn the family apart and I am also to blame, it's not just her.
We have basically lost every $$$ over this housing recession. There is nothing left, except our two kids and our personal items. But, we still have great credit.

The kids will not live with me and resent me because I'm too hard. She's too easy. The kids have made things even worse(it's their job)

Where does someone like me with disabilities stand on divorce, child support, ??alimony??in the courts and public opinion.

I want what's right for myself AND my kids.

When you don't have any money,and not a whole lot of income, how do you retain an attorney to "fight" your side when the other spouse makes $60k and has access to her employer's attorneys?

Anyone care to give me some insight?

Thank you in advance.

 

[mistoffolees]

When you don't have any money,and not a whole lot of income, how do you retain an attorney to "fight" your side when the other spouse makes $60k and has access to her employer's attorneys?

You have a lot of options. Not all of them will be available to you, but you can search for:

Legal Aid
Some attorneys take pro-bono cases
Some attorneys will work out a payment plan
Some attorneys will petition the court to be paid from marital assets (you presumably have SOMETHING) or stbx's income.
If you're near a law school, some schools will allow students to help you out under the guidance of a professor
And probably a few more I haven't thought about.

 

[migraine]

mistoffolees:

Thank you for your time.
As for you comments, I really own nothing but some hand/power tools, and my truck(2006 dodge ram and I paid 17,500 and owe $3600 on). I'm trying to scrape up enough money for a down payment on a travel trailer, just to live in on a friends property for now. I could sell the truck, but nothing to pull a trailer(home).
The rest of our assests are furniture and less than $20k in her retirement and I will not ever ask for or touch that. Her car is a 2005 toyota highlander($21k) that is paid for. The personal stuff is hers. I don't need it and/or can't afford to store it.

I'm am more concerned as to how this divorce will affect me in ability to scrape by with support for my kids, living expenses, medical.

As for myself and our kids relationship, one step at a time.

I'd like a little insight. I don't want to be a deer in the road with oncoming headlights...

 

[mistoffolees]

I'd like a little insight.

I gave it to you. You don't want to go into this without an attorney. Between the two of you, there are plenty of assets to pay for an attorney - as long as you don't drive the cost up unreasonably.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Calif.
Here is the background:

I have married for 25 years and we have two kids 18 and 15
I have been on SSDI for the past 7 years due to "degnerative bone disease". It's not getting better
I receive approx $1000 per mo. and our kids receive $271 each. My wife makes an income of approx $60k with bonuses.
We have 2 homes and one will barely sell to pay off the mortgage and our credit cards. The other is currently worth what we owe. (There goes $80k in equity).
I really don't see the marriage repairable. The argueing and blaming over our past decisions has torn the family apart and I am also to blame, it's not just her.
We have basically lost every $$$ over this housing recession. There is nothing left, except our two kids and our personal items. But, we still have great credit.

The kids will not live with me and resent me because I'm too hard. She's too easy. The kids have made things even worse(it's their job)

Where does someone like me with disabilities stand on divorce, child support, ??alimony??in the courts and public opinion.

I want what's right for myself AND my kids.

When you don't have any money,and not a whole lot of income, how do you retain an attorney to "fight" your side when the other spouse makes $60k and has access to her employer's attorneys?

Anyone care to give me some insight?

Thank you in advance.

I'm sure that one of our other senior members will weigh in on this at some point as she is a big proponet of alimony and the fair division of assets, she has also claimed to be "gender neutral".

In the meantime, I'll do my best to answer your concerns.

All marital assets and debt will be equally divided including her retirement account. You are entitled to half of that and you should persue your right to it.

You have a long term marriage and a huge disparity in incomes. A court could order something like this:

$60k (her income) minus $12k (your income) = $48k divided by 2 = $24k equalizes the incomes. From what I've read about CA divorces in marriages of long duration such as yours especially with one spouse disabled, you might be awarded alimony for life.

LD, please feel free to weigh in on this and correct any errors I may have made.

 

[LdiJ]

mistoffolees:

Thank you for your time.
As for you comments, I really own nothing but some hand/power tools, and my truck(2006 dodge ram and I paid 17,500 and owe $3600 on). I'm trying to scrape up enough money for a down payment on a travel trailer, just to live in on a friends property for now. I could sell the truck, but nothing to pull a trailer(home).
The rest of our assests are furniture and less than $20k in her retirement and I will not ever ask for or touch that. Her car is a 2005 toyota highlander($21k) that is paid for. The personal stuff is hers. I don't need it and/or can't afford to store it.

I'm am more concerned as to how this divorce will affect me in ability to scrape by with support for my kids, living expenses, medical.

As for myself and our kids relationship, one step at a time.

I'd like a little insight. I don't want to be a deer in the road with oncoming headlights...

You are not going to have to pay any child support, the SSDI payments that your children receive is considered to be a substitute for child support when someone is disabled. However, if your wife will not agree to include that in the divorce agreement, you will need to ask the judge to officially order that.

You do have marital assets. The 20k in your wife's retirement account is a marital asset and the equity in your car and her car are also marital assets. I know you don't want to touch your wife's retirement account but it truly is a marital asset subject to division.

You have also been married long enough that you would qualify for some alimony. I can't say how much, because there is no clear cut formula for alimony.

 

[Bali Hai]

You are not going to have to pay any child support, the SSDI payments that your children receive is considered to be a substitute for child support when someone is disabled. However, if your wife will not agree to include that in the divorce agreement, you will need to ask the judge to officially order that.

You do have marital assets. The 20k in your wife's retirement account is a marital asset and the equity in your car and her car are also marital assets. I know you don't want to touch your wife's retirement account but it truly is a marital asset subject to division.

You have also been married long enough that you would qualify for some alimony. I can't say how much, because there is no clear cut formula for alimony.

LD, could the OP use "dissomaster" to get a rough idea of how much permanent unmodifiable alimony he would likely be awarded by a CA court?