disown adult child

[vj209]

What is the name of your state?i reside in penssylvania. am out of options and the situation is becoming dangerous.how does one go about legally disowning and adult child.this is very serious and i don't know what to do or who to speak to .can anyone help?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by vj209

What is the name of your state?i reside in penssylvania. am out of options and the situation is becoming dangerous.how does one go about legally disowning and adult child.this is very serious and i don't know what to do or who to speak to .can anyone help?

You would get better advice if you would actually tell us what is going on.....and what you mean when you say "disown". That usually has to do with wills, but I have the feeling that is not what you are talking about.

[vj209]

i reside in pa.am the single mother of eight.my eldest daughter has been a horror to the family for many years.i am not only concerned about any wills...i am concerned she may attempt to gain coustdy and raise her younger siblings if i should pass away....i really cannot stand this anymore....she is constantly moving all over the place and using everyone she can...she has "used up" her family...even her grandparents have washed their hands of her...now she is back here living in the same town as us again!!!its only been 4 months and it is trouble time after time...i want to be sure she is somehow legally detatched from us....sadly...everything she is doing reflects on us, as this is a small community...but thankfully...everyone knows the rest of us are moral people..and most folks know she is bad news....but i don't know how to keep her away...she single handedly,within 3 days destroyed a two year friendship i had with a neighbor..(this is just the most recent episode , she's usually good for 4-5 episodes per month!!)most serious as of late is she cost me my job in august...she will never change...and cares nothing at all about anyone...only herself.can the police keep her from us?i don't know what to do.

[vj209]

thank you for your response....i had inquired about pfa....she does not threaten physical harm....she is much to devious for that...she instead ,enjoys creating constant turmoil, drama, discontent...to great extremes...to satisfy what ever need she may have at that time.....i will however be certain to find out if there are any other types of legal ways, such as pfa, that can keep her at certain distances from us, perhaps, at least physically....i have changed our phone number...again...but cannot move....my husband passed away in 98....he was through with her long before me...i finally gave up about 1 year ago....why i tolerated it all so long, i'll never know...but i'd like to thank you again....also, at the risk of proving myself an idiot, i regrettably do not understand the lovely quote from "Nietzche", am i to blame for her ways? my other 7 kids are "normal"....thank you again...perhaps a restraining order is something i may be able to have...i'll keep trying.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by vj209

thank you for your response....i had inquired about pfa....she does not threaten physical harm....she is much to devious for that...she instead ,enjoys creating constant turmoil, drama, discontent...to great extremes...to satisfy what ever need she may have at that time.....i will however be certain to find out if there are any other types of legal ways, such as pfa, that can keep her at certain distances from us, perhaps, at least physically....i have changed our phone number...again...but cannot move....my husband passed away in 98....he was through with her long before me...i finally gave up about 1 year ago....why i tolerated it all so long, i'll never know...but i'd like to thank you again....also, at the risk of proving myself an idiot, i regrettably do not understand the lovely quote from "Nietzche", am i to blame for her ways? my other 7 kids are "normal"....thank you again...perhaps a restraining order is something i may be able to have...i'll keep trying.

You also might want to check into setting up a standby guardianship for your other children. That is a guardianship that is set up legally so that someone specific immediately has guardianship of your children if you are incapacitated or die. Consult a local attorney.

[vj209]

thank you for explaining you signature.....and again,it is lovely

[eh404280]

Hello,

I ran across this thread while searching the Internet for answers regarding how to disown an adult child. Unfortunately, although there were lots of "votes" for or against, there was no solid legal advice on how to go about the process. I think it's a reasonable assumption that if parents are so pushed to the wall by an adult child that they live in fear of what that child could do to them or to their family, then they desperately need information, not opinions.

We, too, have suffered. Forty years ago, we adopted a baby girl, whom we gave every possible advantage and tons of love. At age 7, she was shoplifting (banned from some stores), by 11 she was smoking on the sly, by 13 it was marijuana, and at age 16 she left with a drug dealer. We didn't even know where she was for four months. When she was found, she was placed in a locked ward at the state mental institution, where she was diagnosed as having "character deficiency disorder," i.e. in adult terms that would be anti-social personality. Over the years, it has just gotten worse, even though we have always been there for her. There was a prison term for drug paraphernalia and breaking/entering. There were many episodes of promiscuity, and a child born out of wedlock. My husband is a minister, and I can tell you that she did his ministry no good. I am a teacher, and nearly lost my job over this girl.

Lately, she has moved to where we live, and is living a horrible life, caring nothing for the disgrace she brings upon her family. She lacks conscience --- never did develop a conscience. We are getting older (retirement age), and need to know that there is no way she ever can gain control over our business affairs, health care, etc. Our wills leave our estate to our (natural) son, but she is smart and mean, and I worry that she will fight him in court someday.

We really, really need to outright break the family relationship to her. And, we don't know how. Our wills disinherit her, but she still has "rights" as an adult "child" of ours. We hate this whole business, because it wasn't our choice, but facts are facts, and the fact here is that we need to be completely free legally of her.

So, the question is, "How do we legally break the parent/child relationship?"

Help! We are in poor health, and our future is in jeopardy. As long as this woman has any rights regarding us, the future is scary.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by eh404280

Hello,

I ran across this thread while searching the Internet for answers regarding how to disown an adult child. Unfortunately, although there were lots of "votes" for or against, there was no solid legal advice on how to go about the process. I think it's a reasonable assumption that if parents are so pushed to the wall by an adult child that they live in fear of what that child could do to them or to their family, then they desperately need information, not opinions.

We, too, have suffered. Forty years ago, we adopted a baby girl, whom we gave every possible advantage and tons of love. At age 7, she was shoplifting (banned from some stores), by 11 she was smoking on the sly, by 13 it was marijuana, and at age 16 she left with a drug dealer. We didn't even know where she was for four months. When she was found, she was placed in a locked ward at the state mental institution, where she was diagnosed as having "character deficiency disorder," i.e. in adult terms that would be anti-social personality. Over the years, it has just gotten worse, even though we have always been there for her. There was a prison term for drug paraphernalia and breaking/entering. There were many episodes of promiscuity, and a child born out of wedlock. My husband is a minister, and I can tell you that she did his ministry no good. I am a teacher, and nearly lost my job over this girl.

Lately, she has moved to where we live, and is living a horrible life, caring nothing for the disgrace she brings upon her family. She lacks conscience --- never did develop a conscience. We are getting older (retirement age), and need to know that there is no way she ever can gain control over our business affairs, health care, etc. Our wills leave our estate to our (natural) son, but she is smart and mean, and I worry that she will fight him in court someday.

We really, really need to outright break the family relationship to her. And, we don't know how. Our wills disinherit her, but she still has "rights" as an adult "child" of ours. We hate this whole business, because it wasn't our choice, but facts are facts, and the fact here is that we need to be completely free legally of her.

So, the question is, "How do we legally break the parent/child relationship?"

Help! We are in poor health, and our future is in jeopardy. As long as this woman has any rights regarding us, the future is scary.

this post is in excess of a year old. Add to that the fact that it is polite to start your own thread and not hijack on anothers. Please do so, you will get better response.

[eh404280]

My post was in reply to the originator of this thread, and certainly not intended to "hijack" anything. If you don't want replies, then why is there a "reply" button? Also, the fact that the thread is over a year old and *still* nobody has given this person any answers is all the more reason it should be kept alive. Sorry that offended you.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by eh404280

My post was in reply to the originator of this thread, and certainly not intended to "hijack" anything. If you don't want replies, then why is there a "reply" button? Also, the fact that the thread is over a year old and *still* nobody has given this person any answers is all the more reason it should be kept alive. Sorry that offended you.

Copy and past your original post into a brand new thread. You didn't offend anyone, you simply didn't follow the rules and someone explained that to you so that you could.

[Heironymous]

You didn't respond to the poster's issues, you just back-tracked to technicalities.
Are you more concerned with being a lawyer, or providiing some help?

If the former, then it's time to find another site.
If the latter, then stop playing gotcha.

[Shadowprey]

I'll start from the beginning so you will know where I'm at in my thoughts. My 25 year old daughter and I have not ever been close. I do not and will never approve of her bad decisions she continues to make. I assure you we both have no use for each other. Recently she had a baby and we tried to make ammends, but that went south when I found out she was only here because she found out about a law suit my husband, who is her step father and I are involved in. This suit has nothing to do with her, it's based on wrong doing to my husband and I. I have two other children who have the same father as she and she is so jealous of them I don't believe she will ever see things differently. I'm in the process of making my will and I want to be sure that she can not come back and take what I leave others, how do I make this legal? Is there a way I can disown her so that she has no claims on any property of mine at all? I live in Mo.
Thank you for your time.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Shadowprey

I'll start from the beginning so you will know where I'm at in my thoughts. My 25 year old daughter and I have not ever been close. I do not and will never approve of her bad decisions she continues to make. I assure you we both have no use for each other. Recently she had a baby and we tried to make ammends, but that went south when I found out she was only here because she found out about a law suit my husband, who is her step father and I are involved in. This suit has nothing to do with her, it's based on wrong doing to my husband and I. I have two other children who have the same father as she and she is so jealous of them I don't believe she will ever see things differently. I'm in the process of making my will and I want to be sure that she can not come back and take what I leave others, how do I make this legal? Is there a way I can disown her so that she has no claims on any property of mine at all? I live in Mo.
Thank you for your time.

Again, just like the other poster in this thread was told, please copy and paste this post into your own thread.