divorce

I live in new jersey for 8 years. we bought a house four years ago but now it is impossible to remain married. we barely speak to each other, mostly by way of notes. the house is in both our names. i would like to file a petition for dissolution of marraige. should i move out of the home during this time. my husband said he would burn down the house rather than leaving my and the children inside. where and how do i start the proceedings. i am not financially independent. don't know what to do.thanks