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divorce alimony

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mom333

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? nebraska
Have been married for 33 years. Can't do it anymore. Haven't been intimate since 1995. Live in seperate bedrooms not even speaking to each. He makes $60,000 and I have been mostly an at home mom only working full time for the last 5 years making now $25,000.
Yes I have a job but need to move out of this town. He has pension built up, a SS base, sick leave, health benefits after he retires & I have nothing but a small $140,000 401K at work. We have no debt & I know I will receive half of our assets which should equal about $350,000 which includes the 401K. I have no degree & am afraid to quit my job & move out of town or even ask him for a divorce as I"m afraid I will not be able to support myself & have something to retire on. I'm 57 & so is he. Yes I need to move out of this small town in the midwest that has held bad memories for me as I was sexually abused here as a child. What are my chances of getting some alimony for the rest of my life, especially in lieu of his pension. He has never been willing to discuss it with me as he always says it is HIS retirement. Is $1500.00 a month too much to ask for the rest of my life. Please help
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
You might be better off with half of the retirement assets than with $1500 per month. In addition, I don't know how likely you are to get alimony for the rest of your life since you are working.

I would see an attorney before doing anything since you may be selling yourself short.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? nebraska
Have been married for 33 years. Please help
You can't do it anymore? Then get divorced! Can't make it on your current salary? Get a second job. Want to move out of your town/state? Post a resume on the internet looking for positions in the location you desire, request a subscription to the local papers or see if the local papers are on-line and interview for positions via telephone.

Please help?! Darlin' - Help yourself! It's your life, you only get one shot at life and time's a wastin'.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? nebraska
Have been married for 33 years. Can't do it anymore. Haven't been intimate since 1995. Live in seperate bedrooms not even speaking to each. He makes $60,000 and I have been mostly an at home mom only working full time for the last 5 years making now $25,000.
Yes I have a job but need to move out of this town. He has pension built up, a SS base, sick leave, health benefits after he retires & I have nothing but a small $140,000 401K at work. We have no debt & I know I will receive half of our assets which should equal about $350,000 which includes the 401K. I have no degree & am afraid to quit my job & move out of town or even ask him for a divorce as I"m afraid I will not be able to support myself & have something to retire on. I'm 57 & so is he. Yes I need to move out of this small town in the midwest that has held bad memories for me as I was sexually abused here as a child. What are my chances of getting some alimony for the rest of my life, especially in lieu of his pension. He has never been willing to discuss it with me as he always says it is HIS retirement. Is $1500.00 a month too much to ask for the rest of my life. Please help
How can you possibly have a 140,000 401k if you have only worked full time for the last 5 years at 25k per year? Did you mean 14,000 rather than 140,000?

In any case, you are entitled to 1/2 of the marital assets (and are responsible for 1/2 of the marital debts). That includes the current value of BOTH of your retirement assets.

Please do get yourself a consult with a local attorney so that you truly understand where you stand, and plan to use an attorney. Do NOT take legal advice from your spouse.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Have you contacted social security to see what your retirement benefits will be? If you don't remarry, you will be entitled to SS on his or your work credits.
 
I would see an attorney before doing anything since you may be selling yourself short.
I think it is likely you will be better off with half of the marital assets rather than a set amount of monthly support. Even if the financial difference isn't that big, the assets are a better bet.

What if your ex-husband drops out of sight/dies/decides not to pay anymore? You are sunk.

Take half of what is legally yours and walk away.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I think it is likely you will be better off with half of the marital assets rather than a set amount of monthly support. Even if the financial difference isn't that big, the assets are a better bet.

What if your ex-husband drops out of sight/dies/decides not to pay anymore? You are sunk.

Take half of what is legally yours and walk away.
She is entitled to half of the marital assets (and responsible for 1/2 of the marital debts) whether she is awarded alimony or not. Its not an either/or situation and I would not like someone to misunderstand and think that it is.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
She is entitled to half of the marital assets (and responsible for 1/2 of the marital debts) whether she is awarded alimony or not. Its not an either/or situation and I would not like someone to misunderstand and think that it is.
And with her making only 40% of his income and a 33 year marriage, the odds are pretty decent that she'll get some alimony. I just don't see it being for the rest of her life as she asked.
 

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