Divorce ALMOST final, hitting bumps..help

[tjkiller]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Ive been separated with no documentation for approximately 1.5 yrs. We have 2 daughters and decent relationship. She has a full time boyfriend and i have a girlfriend. All have met, everything is good. During this separation we worked out a uncontested divorce. I hired a lawyer (which is very difficult to get a hold of). He drew up the papers, we both signed them infront of a notary. Documents have been stamped, reviewed and submitted to the court. this was in 1.5 months ago. Suddenly, 3 weeks from the final court date she has second thoughts on some of the terms. I refuse to cahnge anything at this point. Question is, is she in any legal position to get the terms changed? Will this go thru? She even signed the pro se saying she doesnt need to be there.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

It could go through. What is her reason for changing her mind?

 

[tjkiller]

no reason

she just changing her mind, friends talking. For one, she has said since the beginning she dont want any of my pension (military, married 12 of 20 yrs, still 2 yrs out) and she signed the papers saying that, now she isnt so sure. no reason really, just second guessing herself, people telling her she is getting a raw deal.

 

[tjkiller]

my thoughts

My thought is to just go to court since she dont have to be there, i told her when it is. Im assuming if she wants to change anything it will have to be her that initiates and gets her own attorney ect. i told her i would work with her on any issues other than the pension. Hopefully it subsides.

 

[LdiJ]

she just changing her mind, friends talking. For one, she has said since the beginning she dont want any of my pension (military, married 12 of 20 yrs, still 2 yrs out) and she signed the papers saying that, now she isnt so sure. no reason really, just second guessing herself, people telling her she is getting a raw deal.

Well...if she was married to you for 12 of your 20 years, she absolutely would be entitled to a share of your military pension under the law...so a judge may very well allow that issue to be re-opened.

What are the other issues, if any?

Property settlements are expected to be fair, under the law. You have already named one aspect of the property settlement that may not be fair, under the law. If there are others as well, a judge might very well allow her to withdraw her agreement.

Now, if she gave up her share of the military pension in exchange for some other concession on your part, that could be a different story.

Basically, what is supposed to happen is that all marital assets and all marital debts go into the "pot"...and you each come out with a fair division. That doesn't mean that each debt and each asset has to be divided equally, it just means that the overall result has to be equal.

For example...when my ex and I split up I kept the house and the car, and our entire savings account. However, I also kept our entire debt load. The house had no equity, the car had no equity (and he drove a company car) and our savings were roughly equal to our debt. So, even though it look like I kept everything, in all reality we balanced. He ended up with zero, and I ended up with zero (in terms of equity). He agreed to that because he knew that I would do a better job of protecting our joint credit than he would. He also had a few friends that had him second guessing for a moment, but when I pointed out that if he got half the savings, he had to be responsible for half the debt, he quickly saw my point.

So, what you need to be doing is looking at your agreement. You need to see if you "balance". If you don't (and we have already identified one area where you may not) then a judge may very well allow your property settlement to be re-opened.

 

[tjkiller]

thank you, basically she got everything. I keep the house (no equity) she lives in it. I pay for half the kids needs, carry them on insurance. She gets all household goods. In addition, is she stays in the house (only way to afford the support and mortgage) she will get half of the equity in the future. I paid off her car ,3 yrs old, i get the old pick up. Only other issue is really is an Ira with 10 grand in it, she said she didnt want it because of the penalty it costs to withdraw, now she is changing her mind, i did tell her i would split it, but i dont want to postpone anything. Also i paid off all debt so she can live rent free, no car payment, no credit cards. She even has her mother living there to pay utilities. She also works.

 

[tjkiller]

also we have had separate bank accounts and have been split financially since August. There is no joint savings and no joint debt. Only real debt is the house which i take responibility for.