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Divorce, annulment, subpoena

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CuriouslyAboutL

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut
The story, I started dating my friend Mary around January of 2008. She had just broken up a guy she was with for 9 years. When he found out about us, he than proposed marriage to her. She wanted to marry me, I was not ready for this step after 3 months of dating. So, she left me, and got engaged. Two weeks later she shows up at my door step. She had broken it off with him and she wanted to know if I would give it another try. We got back to together and a few months later she moved in with me.

We had some issues, and she ended back with her ex. She started calling me again, and told me she was getting married in a month from that point. But I could tell she was not going to be happy.

We are closer to the legal questions:

She got married on a Friday and broke up with him on Monday and moved in with me. She filed for divorce the next day.

He is now threatening to subpoena all her family, my ex wife, my neighbors, etc. to cause us pain. We wants revenge. He has also told her that after the divorce is through, he plans on suing me for pain and suffering. Then sue her for the money to remove the tattoo'd ring on his finger.

She told me that she does not love him. and she told him that. He wants her back anyway?????

This whole thing sounds like one of those shows on TV.

Question: What can he really do legally. Can he create a circus in court, or is his attorney just trying to scare us??? Can he really try to claim I caused him pain and suffering? What exactly did I do to him. I didn't solicit his girl?

He has also stated to her, that he wants to kill me.
Question: Do I need to get a restraining order?

Question: I know that some of this is because he wants to get the marriage annulled. But isn't there another way?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
This whole thing sounds like one of those shows on TV.
Yes it does. Hint: stop messing around with people who are involved with, dating, or married to someone else.

Question: What can he really do legally. Can he create a circus in court, or is his attorney just trying to scare us??? Can he really try to claim I caused him pain and suffering? What exactly did I do to him. I didn't solicit his girl?
He can cause all sorts of trouble if he wishes. It might not go anywhere, but he can sue everyone in sight - up to and including the President of the U.S. if he has a grievance. Then it's up to the courts to sort it out.

Cases like this generally don't get very far, and stuff like that is often a bluff, but if he sues you, get an attorney.

He has also stated to her, that he wants to kill me.
Question: Do I need to get a restraining order?
Whether you need to or not is a separate question, but you won't get a restraining order on the basis of someone saying in the heat of an argument that they're going to kill you. If there's some reason to take the threat seriously (like him going out and buying a gun and waving it in your face), you might be able to.

Frankly, if you look at this from his perspective, you can see why he'd be very upset. I would stay out of his way for a while and let the passions settle down. You may find that it's all a bluff and he'll get a quiet divorce and fade away.

Question: I know that some of this is because he wants to get the marriage annulled. But isn't there another way?
He's not likely to get an annulment because he changed his mind. Connecticut law on annulments isn't as clear as some states, but he needs to show fraud or duress or some other grounds. If he can do that, he can get an annulment. Otherwise, he needs to get a divorce.
 

CuriouslyAboutL

Junior Member
Yes it does. Hint: stop messing around with people who are involved with, dating, or married to someone else.
I see that loud and clear. In the beginning she told me that they were broken up.

Cases like this generally don't get very far, and stuff like that is often a bluff, but if he sues you, get an attorney.
This is what I thought, but its good to hear it from someone else.

Frankly, if you look at this from his perspective, you can see why he'd be very upset. I would stay out of his way for a while and let the passions settle down. You may find that it's all a bluff and he'll get a quiet divorce and fade away.
I feel bad for him too. She just moved out this evening. She is going to meet with an attorney in the morning. She is very distraught over the whole thing. Neither one of us meant to behave like children.

He's not likely to get an annulment because he changed his mind. Connecticut law on annulments isn't as clear as some states, but he needs to show fraud or duress or some other grounds. If he can do that, he can get an annulment. Otherwise, he needs to get a divorce.
I don't see it either, but he wants to prove adultery? Connecticut is a no fault state. So, I think he is just very upset and wants to inflict as much pain as he can. He also wants to destroy my relationship with my girlfriend.
I think he is trying to also prove that she didn't really intend to stay with him. She told me that she was marrying him and that she thought that once she was married to him, she would be happy. She had wanted to be married to him for almost 9 years.

Question: she met with him and he told her stuff like wanting me dead, etc. Would it be smart for her to tape record him? Or is that illegal or opening up a huge can of worms. My idea is to use this in court should things get ugly. He does have an anger management problem.

Thanks
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I don't see it either, but he wants to prove adultery? Connecticut is a no fault state. So, I think he is just very upset and wants to inflict as much pain as he can. He also wants to destroy my relationship with my girlfriend.
I think he is trying to also prove that she didn't really intend to stay with him. She told me that she was marrying him and that she thought that once she was married to him, she would be happy. She had wanted to be married to him for almost 9 years.

Question: she met with him and he told her stuff like wanting me dead, etc. Would it be smart for her to tape record him? Or is that illegal or opening up a huge can of worms. My idea is to use this in court should things get ugly. He does have an anger management problem.

Thanks
Adultery won't have any impact on whether he can get an annulment or not. Nor will the rest of what you're saying.

Look up the recording laws in your state. You should be able to find them with Google.
 

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