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Divorce ~ Contempt and Perjury

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tryin2divorce

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

My soon to be ex husband is in contempt of court and has perjured himself.

I filed for divorce in February of 2011. I also filed to have the mediation waived on the grounds of the domestic abuse during the marriage. I already had a Protection Order in place. This was approved. At the same time it's automatically court ordered that within 60 days he was supposed to provide to me a financial affidavit, three years tax returns, wage slips and copies of bills to support the affidavit. In addition he was to file a financial affidavit to the court. He didn't.

90 days after my filing and on the day of the pretrial conference his attorney filed the affidavit with the court and gave me a copy. The financial affidavit said that his outgoings were double his income. The judge just said did they need more time for the financials and mediation. His attorney said yes so the judge court ordered that he supply them in 30 days. He didn't.

A couple of months later his attorney mailed me a copy of his 3 years tax returns and his wage slips. No W2's and no bills.

I filed a motion with the court to try and get some money for bills he stuck me with. That was denied but during the hearing his attorney stated that he was homeless and was living from friend to friend. Yet, in his financial affidavit he had put $400/month for rent. I pointed that out and that it was twice his earnings. She quickly said they would file a new affidavit. They didn't.

In December of 2011 I filed a motion to have him held in contempt of court. His attorney went to the court a couple of days later and got an extension until February of 2012 saying mediation needed to take place she also said that they had provided all the financials. Both of these things being untrue. She filed and was heard by the judge the same day! My motion was filed and I was given a date in March 2012 for it to be heard by a judge.

Three times the mediation people have called me and asked me to set up a time for mediation and I keep telling them that requirement has been waived. This last time I got a letter from his attorney saying that she had nothing in her file to say that he waived his right to mediation. It's not a (insert expletive) right it's a requirement in the state of Iowa unless it has been waived.

Now he has a new attorney who told me last week when we were in court, because I was trying to get my Protection order extended, that I needed to prove the mediation wasn't required. I basically told him I wasn't doing his job for him. It's on the list of all the filings. It's not hard to get a list from the clerk. He can't do that but he could get himself down to the clerk and ask for a court date. Again, the same day, he was given a court date. The courthouse person called me about an hour after he had said 'well we will just go to trial' and gave me the trial date.

We shouldn't even need to go to trial. We were separated after 8 abusive months of marriage. We have no children. I own a house but that's paid for and was paid for before the marriage. He worked for the first month of marriage and about the last 6 weeks of the marriage.

he came into the marriage with a mattress and box springs, a sofa, two TV's and a few boxes of crap. I dropped off the TV's and the boxes outside where he was staying a couple of months after he left. The mattress and box springs I threw out because the dog peed all over them. I took a picture which clearly shows the stains. And I threw out the sofa because it was a sofa bed and the pull out was broken. It was also threadbare. But he has a list of all these things and says I still have them and he wants them back.

This is what he wants to go to trial over. That pile of crap. What a waste of the courts time. I want him to pay half of the bills accrued during the marriage. He really stiffed me. It's a couple of thousand dollars. Not much to some but that's a month and a half of the income I get.

What do I do now? He's perjured himself by filing the false affidavit and also claiming on it he was paying rent. His attorney lied to the judge to get the extension and to avoid having him held in contempt. It's been around 7 months since the judge court ordered him to provide all the financials in 30 days.

I'm scared to go to trial by myself but I don't have any money to pay an attorney. I can't get legal aid because they told me there is a conflict of interest. I don't want him to be able to get his hands on my house.

Can I do anything about the lies him and his attorney told?
Can I get him held in contempt?

I want my divorce but at this point I want him and his attorney to get something.
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
First, please don't keep opening new threads. It's much easier for the volunteers to keep everything together.

Second, you are apparently not understanding some of the rules in your state. You need to thoroughly understand every step if you're going to try to handle this on your own.

If they fail to provide required documentation, you file a motion to compel.

If they ask for mediation and you have a waiver SIGNED BY THE JUDGE, then you give them a copy. If it's not signed by the judge, it's useless.

As for perjury or contempt? You have to be able to prove it and that it was material. So far, you haven't done that.

And so on.

I would strongly advise you to find a way to get an attorney. You're in over your head.
 

tryin2divorce

Junior Member
I'm sorry. The reason I separated it out was because I saw you had separate forums for each issue.

The waiver is valid. It's approved. It's filed with the court. I just had to apply for it. I did. It was accepted.

He's in contempt of the court order the judge issued in June of 2011 compeling him to provide me with all the financials within 30 days. Why is that not contempt?

In the state of Iowa I cannot get a divorce unless I have been given all the financial details that I listed. I'm assuming that if the math doesn't add up then the court may not accept it. Outgoings that are double his income?

So I file a motion to compel. I will do that. As for getting it heard? That will probably be a few months from now. I'm not an attorney so I can't get it heard the same day. It probably won't get before a judge before the trial which has been set for April.

If I could afford an attorney I would have one. I thought this would be a quick and simple divorce. Our court even has a do it yourself divorce package. That's what I've been using. I don't understand why it has come to this.

Legal aid won't help me. I receive an income from disability insurance I had through my job. It's $1500/month. I don't get state benefits or Medicaid. My COBRA is $550/month. I'm too sick to give up health insurance. I have 8 doctors appointments a month and am on 4 different medications. I cannot possibly afford an attorney.

I don't know what to do. I really am scared, desperate, tired, worn down, frustrated. I want out of this marriage.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I'm sorry. The reason I separated it out was because I saw you had separate forums for each issue.

The waiver is valid. It's approved. It's filed with the court. I just had to apply for it. I did. It was accepted.

He's in contempt of the court order the judge issued in June of 2011 compeling him to provide me with all the financials within 30 days. Why is that not contempt?

In the state of Iowa I cannot get a divorce unless I have been given all the financial details that I listed. I'm assuming that if the math doesn't add up then the court may not accept it. Outgoings that are double his income?

So I file a motion to compel. I will do that. As for getting it heard? That will probably be a few months from now. I'm not an attorney so I can't get it heard the same day. It probably won't get before a judge before the trial which has been set for April.

If I could afford an attorney I would have one. I thought this would be a quick and simple divorce. Our court even has a do it yourself divorce package. That's what I've been using. I don't understand why it has come to this.

Legal aid won't help me. I receive an income from disability insurance I had through my job. It's $1500/month. I don't get state benefits or Medicaid. My COBRA is $550/month. I'm too sick to give up health insurance. I have 8 doctors appointments a month and am on 4 different medications. I cannot possibly afford an attorney.

I don't know what to do. I really am scared, desperate, tired, worn down, frustrated. I want out of this marriage.
All I can say is google 'self help divorce iowa'. The problem is that a 'quick and simple' divorce is neither if one party wants to drag it out.

Have you petitioned the court to have your stbx pay your legal fees so you can hire an attorney? Or, at least, talked with an attorney to see if that's likely in your county? I would certainly call around to try to find an attorney who would at least give you a free consultation to get you started.
 

tryin2divorce

Junior Member
All I can say is google 'self help divorce iowa'. The problem is that a 'quick and simple' divorce is neither if one party wants to drag it out.

Have you petitioned the court to have your stbx pay your legal fees so you can hire an attorney? Or, at least, talked with an attorney to see if that's likely in your county? I would certainly call around to try to find an attorney who would at least give you a free consultation to get you started.
Thanks. I will start googling again. I haven't petitioned the court to get him to pay my legal fees. Based on my friends experiences that doesn't happen in Iowa. I did have a consultation with an attorney. I tried to glean as much as I could but basically all he said was give him $2000 as a retainer. It could cost more, it could cost less but he would get it done. Again, from talking to friends $2000 is about how much it would cost. Well that's not going to happen.

You're right about it not being simple. He's dragging it out and I have no idea why. Except I suppose because he doesn't want to pay anything towards the debts he left me with. He would have to give me around $1500 I think. In that region anyway. I just don't know. I think he gets some sick perverse pleasure out of all this.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Thanks. I will start googling again. I haven't petitioned the court to get him to pay my legal fees. Based on my friends experiences that doesn't happen in Iowa. I did have a consultation with an attorney. I tried to glean as much as I could but basically all he said was give him $2000 as a retainer. It could cost more, it could cost less but he would get it done. Again, from talking to friends $2000 is about how much it would cost. Well that's not going to happen.

You're right about it not being simple. He's dragging it out and I have no idea why. Except I suppose because he doesn't want to pay anything towards the debts he left me with. He would have to give me around $1500 I think. In that region anyway. I just don't know. I think he gets some sick perverse pleasure out of all this.
We shouldn't even need to go to trial. We were separated after 8 abusive months of marriage. We have no children. I own a house but that's paid for and was paid for before the marriage. He worked for the first month of marriage and about the last 6 weeks of the marriage.

Sounds like you should be paying his legal fees and sell your house if necessary to do so.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
He worked for the first month of marriage and about the last 6 weeks of the marriage.
Sounds like you should be paying his legal fees and sell your house if necessary to do so.
I missed that part (I hate these long, rambling posts). I saw that he had an attorney and assumed that he had a good job. That is clearly a bad assumption.

You are correct. It could conceivably go the other way - but given that neither of them has much of an income, it's not likely either way.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
We shouldn't even need to go to trial. We were separated after 8 abusive months of marriage. We have no children. I own a house but that's paid for and was paid for before the marriage. He worked for the first month of marriage and about the last 6 weeks of the marriage.

Sounds like you should be paying his legal fees and sell your house if necessary to do so.
That is an absurd thing to say Bali.

However, I truly do not understand why he is dragging this out. Paying 1/2 of a couple of thousand dollars in debt would have had to have been cheaper than paying an attorney the way that he has. Its not like he is going to get a marital share of a home that was paid for prior to an 8 month marriage.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Ah, but LiDj, he's *not* paying for the atty - OP didn't qualify for legal aide because of "conflict of interest". ;)
 

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