Divorce and Custody

[dfetter]

What is the name of your state? I live in Oregon

I am about to begin the process for divorcing my wife of 7 years. She has been openly seeing another man for several months and bring our children around what she is doing. She even went so far as to hold a wedding ceremony with this other man even though we were still married and took our children to it.

Since then, she has not been spending very much time at home and has spent multiple nights each week away from home. Whenever she leaves lately, she has left our children with me to care for which I do to the best of my ability and make every attempt to keep them from being confused.

Last weekend she left saturday afternoon and did not return until noon on Monday after I was already at work. I have had daycare set up for two months now after starting a new job and, when she did not return on Sunday (which was the beginning of both our work weeks) I felt it was neccessary to remove our children from the environment and make an attempt to create a stable environment for them to live in.

Since Sunday, the 6th of Novemeber, they have been in my direct care and in the care of my day care provider while I work and I have made several attempts at getting her to come see our children, but I have had very little in the way of a response on this subject. She also does not return my calls and has not been staying in a place that I know where she is to bring the girls to see her.

I honestly do not know what question to begin with, but I do want to know what my chances are of getting an outcome in the favor of me and our children in a case like this in Oregon. Anyone that has gone through a similar case in this state feel free to contact me by any means (Instant Messenger or email)...this post included.

Thank you,

Dan

 

[dfetter]

*sigh*

I am really at a loss here...

I have been reading this forum for the past few days and have seem various new posts come up with specific questions for multiple areas, but I have yet to receive any response.

I am very concerned about this issue as the welfare of mt children is at stake and have been unable to get to the courthouse as this was a holiday weekend. I will be going down there on Monday during my lunch and I expect I will likely get some sort of direction from those that I discuss the issue with there, but I was hoping to find some useful information to bring up when I do go as I did not expect to have to go through this (Yeah, who does, right?).

Please, if anyone has any contribution to this situation, I would really like some input.

Thank you again,

Dan

 

[Deadlunch]

Here are a couple websites that you can go to and a potential lawyer you can post your case to to assist you with your questions and concerns.
http://www.efn.org/~bobl/divorce.html
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/oregon.htm
My take on the situation is that you should be able to get a divorce without too much of a problem since Oregon is a no fault state (I know that there is fault, but usually adultery is hard to prove, requires pics etc...time AND money and proves to delay the process a bit). Chances are that you will also be able to get custody of the children (VERY important). Since I am not an attorney your best bet would be to get in contact with one (there are many that offer free consultations) and find out exactly what your options are.
On a personal note, I know that this is just a crappy place to be at, especially since you now find yourself trying to be mommy AND daddy to your children, along with counselor etc...it's also a very confusing time for them too. Remember always that no matter what, they will always remember that you were there for them, so don't stoop to abusing their mother in their presence; they'll get to that when they become teenagers Kudos to you and best of luck