Divorce- few financial questions

[scar18]

First time poster, never thought it would be here though.

I'll make it as quick and easy to follow as I possibly can.

-Married 5 years.
-I quit my job of dozen+ years to follow her to Europe.
-She had no job/income.
-While in Europe I not have income for the past 4 years, neither did she.
-Moving expenses were paid by me.
-Shipped my car there, after a while which I sold at a significant loss which I otherwise would not have sold in the states.
-During this time, I was supporting her financially.
-We were both students at this time: I was using both private and federal loans, her school was paid for by her family.
-No property and no assets, no kids.
-I took out some money from 401k at one point for emergency cash funds to support ourselves for a while.

I have spent a significant amount of money, some money mine and some money I borrowed (let's just say it was borrowed), on her expenses during this time. This includes paying off her credit card debt, airline tickets, school books, food, travel, etc. She didn't spend a penny as she had no income, ever. While we were together, we were going to pay back the money we 'borrowed' and replace the money into my 401k. Now she does not acknowledge me paying off her credit cards and everything else.

She is claiming that we have no marital debt.

Without dragging this out and becoming an expensive and ugly divorce, is there anything I can do to recover this money in the future once she starts working? (she will be graduating from medical school this June). She has a high future potential for earnings.

Thanks

 

[justalayman]

Since you went to Europe and never apparently came back you need to seek legal advice in whatever country you reside. US law will have no meaning there.

 

[scar18]

Since you went to Europe and never apparently came back you need to seek legal advice in whatever country you reside. US law will have no meaning there.

Ooops. We are currently in the US, Illinois specifically.

 

[justalayman]

Why do you believe you have a right to any of her future income? You got married. Not atypical in the least you supported the both of you. Now you're getting divorced.

Income and expenditures during the marriage are simply the cost of marriage. You are not required or even expected to pay back money spent on each other during the marriage.

The only issue I can't really speak to is the "borrowed" funds because I have no idea what "borrowed" funds are. If there is a true debt then it is likely it will be tossed in the money pot along with the rest of the marital assets and debts and roughly split in half.

 

[scar18]

Why do you believe you have a right to any of her future income? You got married. Not atypical in the least you supported the both of you. Now you're getting divorced.

Income and expenditures during the marriage are simply the cost of marriage. You are not required or even expected to pay back money spent on each other during the marriage.

The only issue I can't really speak to is the "borrowed" funds because I have no idea what "borrowed" funds are. If there is a true debt then it is likely it will be tossed in the money pot along with the rest of the marital assets and debts and roughly split in half.

Borrowed funds is monies that was borrowed let's say from someone other than myself that I (we) made promise to repay. In addition, monies that was 'borrowed' from my 401k.

True debt. What is true debt? I have suffered financially supporting her and myself, living off of my savings and borrowing, while her family did not pay one penny. Should I just take the high road and come to terms with this debt as my debt?

 

[justalayman]

You suffered financially ...


My god man, you were married and your wife didn't work. Somebody had to pay the bills. You don't get to make an accounting of what each spent and what each put into the marriage. The marital couple spent that money.

The only issue is whether this borrowed money is an actual debt. If it is then it is figured into the division of debts and assets.

You chose to support your wife. You don't get a refund on your (apparently poor) investment because it is not seen as an investment in her. It was you providing for yourself and your wife.


Dang, using your view most men that were married before the '60's would have been able to apply for a refund from their wife if they got divorced. It was more common the man worked to support the household while the wife stayed home and maintained the home life.


Sorry guy, no refunds.

 

[scar18]

You suffered financially ...


My god man, you were married and your wife didn't work. Somebody had to pay the bills. You don't get to make an accounting of what each spent and what each put into the marriage. The marital couple spent that money.

The only issue is whether this borrowed money is an actual debt. If it is then it is figured into the division of debts and assets.

You chose to support your wife. You don't get a refund on your (apparently poor) investment because it is not seen as an investment in her. It was you providing for yourself and your wife.


Dang, using your view most men that were married before the '60's would have been able to apply for a refund from their wife if they got divorced. It was more common the man worked to support the household while the wife stayed home and maintained the home life.


Sorry guy, no refunds.

Much appreciated. I'll just walk away from this. Thank you for your input.

 

[latigo]

. . . . . . . . . is there anything I can do to recover this money . . . .

If you are asking whether or not you have a legal right to seek restitution from her for the money you spent as above, the answer is negative. Absolutely not. Not presently nor in the future. No court in the country would hear of it by ordering such an accounting.

The only time a spouse can be ordered to render an accounting is if it is found that they committed waste of a marital asset(s) and/or concealed the same with the intention to deny the other there vested interest. And then it can only be used as an offset in distributing existing marital property. But never in the form of a money judgment. A thought that you appear to be entertaining. (The wrongful use of another spouse's separate property would be treated differently, but that is not germane here.)

If writing that "she is claiming we have no marital debt" is to suggest that your expenditures would be such, that would be absurdly illogical as you would both owe it.