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Divorce going on 3 years.....

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LorlaLu

Junior Member
:confused:What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York


My husband and I have been separated for 2 1/2 years. He kicked me out and moved his online girlfriend in on the same day. I filed for divorce about 6 months later. He found a lawyer to dispute what I was asking for (child support & alimony), but nothing was ever finally resolved and has been at a stand still ever since. He can no longer afford to pay his lawyer, and although I am payed up with my lawyer, I am not sure which action to take to move things along. We did end up going to court after he filed for temporary custody of our 2 children (ages 4 and 8), after being served with the divorce papers. We ended up settling the custody out of the court room however, but unhappily I agreed to weekends with the kids, and weekdays for him. This was a very hard decision, but it took me a while to get back on my feet and acheive stability after being cut off without anything when he kicked me out. Now I am doing very well in my life and want more rights to my children, and I want to finally finish the divorce process. My ex is very disagreeable to budging one inch on anything, but I would hate to go to court and possibly lose. I want 50/50 custody of the kids, $2,000 for my car that he said he would buy from me but took instead, and rights to make decisions regarding my kids. ( His girlfriend has bullied me to a terrible extent these last 2 years, giving me barely rights to my kids.) I am worried that my efforts will be no good and I don't know where to turn next. He is threatening to not give me a divorce at this point, how can this be remedied?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
:confused:What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York


My husband and I have been separated for 2 1/2 years. He kicked me out and moved his online girlfriend in on the same day. I filed for divorce about 6 months later. He found a lawyer to dispute what I was asking for (child support & alimony), but nothing was ever finally resolved and has been at a stand still ever since. He can no longer afford to pay his lawyer, and although I am payed up with my lawyer, I am not sure which action to take to move things along. We did end up going to court after he filed for temporary custody of our 2 children (ages 4 and 8), after being served with the divorce papers. We ended up settling the custody out of the court room however, but unhappily I agreed to weekends with the kids, and weekdays for him. This was a very hard decision, but it took me a while to get back on my feet and acheive stability after being cut off without anything when he kicked me out. Now I am doing very well in my life and want more rights to my children, and I want to finally finish the divorce process. My ex is very disagreeable to budging one inch on anything, but I would hate to go to court and possibly lose. I want 50/50 custody of the kids, $2,000 for my car that he said he would buy from me but took instead, and rights to make decisions regarding my kids. ( His girlfriend has bullied me to a terrible extent these last 2 years, giving me barely rights to my kids.) I am worried that my efforts will be no good and I don't know where to turn next. He is threatening to not give me a divorce at this point, how can this be remedied?
I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but get an attorney and have him move the divorce along.

The problem you're going to have is that you agreed to a child custody situation and it has been in place for 2 years, so the court is going to lean toward the status quo unless you can show that it's in the kids' best interest (NOT YOURS) for them to be with you and not him. Him having a live-in girlfriend while he's still married to you might help, but I wouldn't want to try it without an attorney.

Don't get wrapped up on little things, though. The car is probably worth less now than it was, so the $2 K would be even less - and it will probably cost you that much to collect it. Maybe worth a try, but don't spend a fortune trying to collect a modest amount of money. Focus on the big issue(s).
 

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