Divorce help!!!! Long read

[sbvol]

What is the name of your state?Tennessee
I have been married for 9 years..We had lived in one of my parents houses for about 8 years. (Rent free). We did this so my wife could get her 2 degrees. My wife was always on to me about wanting a new house. I did not want to leave the rent free housing but I loved my wife, so my dad gave us a peace of the family farm (3 acres). We built the house for 215,000 but it is appraised at $300,000 because of the land. So six months into the new house she decides to quit her job, that helped us afford this house. I was so distraught about this that she would do this to us becasue it would be very hard to do it on my salary alone. I was so mad that I did not come home for 6 days. On the 7th day she decided to gut the whole house. (did not even leave a towel). Luckly I was able to catch the moving truck with the police and she had to return the stuff. She also took out all our savings and left me with $25.00. Even after all this I asked if we could do counsoling. But it is obvouis now that my wife wanted me for my money. She has not helped pay one bill since Dec 2003 and now wants me to sell the house that we only lived in for a year and she wants half of the equity. (only reason the is equity is because my dad gave me the land) We promised him that we would not sell or move if he gave us the land. (my dad is disabled and needs my help on the farm. What will it take for me to get to keep the house? Plus I just changed jobs and am getting my 401K..What can I do to keep her from getting half..Could I pay my dad for the land..What if took a very expensive vacation..Plus can I get her for abandament (plus she would not let me sleep with her for 3 years. know she is trying to make me look like the bad guy buy not coming home for those five days..Here is what I need to know

How to I keep the house and only pay her off for the house not the land..
How can I hide the 401K from her (spend it?)
I have not been served papers yet because Im hoping we could work it out..How can I keep it out of court...
She left me with the 2,000 car..she took the 30,000 car...
She will not help pay any bills will the court look at this?
Can my mother come back and sue us for back rent? (8 years) Just an idea from my mom
Sorry to ramble it just sucks to have your life turned upside down..

Thanks

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by sbvol

What is the name of your state?Tennessee
I have been married for 9 years..We had lived in one of my parents houses for about 8 years. (Rent free). We did this so my wife could get her 2 degrees. My wife was always on to me about wanting a new house. I did not want to leave the rent free housing but I loved my wife, so my dad gave us a peace of the family farm (3 acres). We built the house for 215,000 but it is appraised at $300,000 because of the land. So six months into the new house she decides to quit her job, that helped us afford this house. I was so distraught about this that she would do this to us becasue it would be very hard to do it on my salary alone. I was so mad that I did not come home for 6 days. On the 7th day she decided to gut the whole house. (did not even leave a towel). Luckly I was able to catch the moving truck with the police and she had to return the stuff. She also took out all our savings and left me with $25.00. Even after all this I asked if we could do counsoling. But it is obvouis now that my wife wanted me for my money. She has not helped pay one bill since Dec 2003 and now wants me to sell the house that we only lived in for a year and she wants half of the equity. (only reason the is equity is because my dad gave me the land) We promised him that we would not sell or move if he gave us the land. (my dad is disabled and needs my help on the farm. What will it take for me to get to keep the house? Plus I just changed jobs and am getting my 401K..What can I do to keep her from getting half..Could I pay my dad for the land..What if took a very expensive vacation..Plus can I get her for abandament (plus she would not let me sleep with her for 3 years. know she is trying to make me look like the bad guy buy not coming home for those five days..Here is what I need to know

How to I keep the house and only pay her off for the house not the land..
How can I hide the 401K from her (spend it?)
I have not been served papers yet because Im hoping we could work it out..How can I keep it out of court...
She left me with the 2,000 car..she took the 30,000 car...
She will not help pay any bills will the court look at this?
Can my mother come back and sue us for back rent? (8 years) Just an idea from my mom
Sorry to ramble it just sucks to have your life turned upside down..

Thanks

You aren't going to be able to keep the house unless you can afford to pay for it by yourself. You will have to be able to finance it into your name only in order to be able to keep it. Odds are that you are going to owe her some equity...you may be able to mitigate that to some extent but it really depends on how your dad deeded the land.

You ARE NOT going to be able to hide the 401K money so don't even try. That would just end up biting you in the butt.

The issue of the cars will be part of the property settlement. The bills will be part of the property settlement.

Don't try to play games with your mother attempting to sue for back rent...that will just make YOU look bad and make it look like you are playing games.

You REALLY need a good attorney. Realistically after 9 years of marriage you are each going to end up with 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debt....but please don't try to play games because that would most likely end up hurting you more than her. What you need to do is have a good attorney try to prove that some of the assets aren't marital assets (ie the land).

[sbvol]

What about the part of the abandonment... Where she will not help pay any bills..Why would I keep making the house payment if she is going to get half?