A
Arknight
Guest
What is the name of your state? Arkansas
Situation: 5 months ago I my fiance moved in with me when her (now)ex-husband kicked her out of their house. At that time, she had a problem with cutting herself on her arms and legs. He has apparently always been a major control freak up to and including losing several previous jobs in order to follow her around to see what she was doing. (Stalking her from what I can tell.) As long as she was with him, he would put the restrictions on her as to who she could talk to, be friends with, phone and computer use, etc.
Since she moved out, she's gotten counseling, and medication for the depression that she undergoes. She got accepted to college, and is looking forward to that. The biggest problem is that he keeps her from their children (boys 14 and 10). The divorce decree he convinced her to sign (without talking to or having it looked at by a lawyer because she felt that with her state of mind at that time she wouldn't have any chance of visitation at all and he offered the chance for 'supervised' visitation.) gave him custody of the kids, and she could visit them whenever he felt like letting her. He had to be there, and noone she knew (he told her this flat out) could ever supervise a visit.
A couple of days ago, my fiance had a chance to stay overnight with the kids. Next morning, she said she was moving back in there to be with the kids and make them happy (that she couldn't be selfish and be happy herself) She's always cared so much for the kids, that it tore her completely up to be away from them.
However, it's already started with his control act. He's mentioned to her that he's not sure of this 'school thing'. Tell's her she can keep her cellphone so he can call her between her classes to check up on her and given her a street she has to follow back home, he's trying to completely cut her off from all her friends and myself (although she still calls to talk to myself and her best friend too even though he can get very upset about it).
90% of his treatment of her and the kids are all mind/emotional/control games and she's scared that any little thing she does wrong will have him keeping the kids away from her.
I'm worried that the longer she's there, she'll get back to the point of cutting herself, him not letting her go to counseling, school, and all the things that make her happy.
She wants to get herself and the kids away from him, but she has no idea where to turn or how to manage it.
How can I help? What can she do about the decree and visitation/custody/etc.?
I appreciate any help.
Tom
Situation: 5 months ago I my fiance moved in with me when her (now)ex-husband kicked her out of their house. At that time, she had a problem with cutting herself on her arms and legs. He has apparently always been a major control freak up to and including losing several previous jobs in order to follow her around to see what she was doing. (Stalking her from what I can tell.) As long as she was with him, he would put the restrictions on her as to who she could talk to, be friends with, phone and computer use, etc.
Since she moved out, she's gotten counseling, and medication for the depression that she undergoes. She got accepted to college, and is looking forward to that. The biggest problem is that he keeps her from their children (boys 14 and 10). The divorce decree he convinced her to sign (without talking to or having it looked at by a lawyer because she felt that with her state of mind at that time she wouldn't have any chance of visitation at all and he offered the chance for 'supervised' visitation.) gave him custody of the kids, and she could visit them whenever he felt like letting her. He had to be there, and noone she knew (he told her this flat out) could ever supervise a visit.
A couple of days ago, my fiance had a chance to stay overnight with the kids. Next morning, she said she was moving back in there to be with the kids and make them happy (that she couldn't be selfish and be happy herself) She's always cared so much for the kids, that it tore her completely up to be away from them.
However, it's already started with his control act. He's mentioned to her that he's not sure of this 'school thing'. Tell's her she can keep her cellphone so he can call her between her classes to check up on her and given her a street she has to follow back home, he's trying to completely cut her off from all her friends and myself (although she still calls to talk to myself and her best friend too even though he can get very upset about it).
90% of his treatment of her and the kids are all mind/emotional/control games and she's scared that any little thing she does wrong will have him keeping the kids away from her.
I'm worried that the longer she's there, she'll get back to the point of cutting herself, him not letting her go to counseling, school, and all the things that make her happy.
She wants to get herself and the kids away from him, but she has no idea where to turn or how to manage it.
How can I help? What can she do about the decree and visitation/custody/etc.?
I appreciate any help.
Tom