is divorce the only way to get my husband to move out

[nancywalk]

my husband has not kept agreement about finding work and contributing financially. he agreed to a deadline for payment or move out without discussion. that was tuesday and he shows no intention of leaving. he also has not held to the condition of no drugs at the house. it is my house which i owned prior to marriage. i feel like i need to do 'tough love' for my sake, his, and our respective childrens. we live in california. is starting a divorce the only option for forcing him to move out? thanks

 

[Litigation!]

my husband has not kept agreement about finding work and contributing financially. he agreed to a deadline for payment or move out without discussion. that was tuesday and he shows no intention of leaving. he also has not held to the condition of no drugs at the house. it is my house which i owned prior to marriage. i feel like i need to do 'tough love' for my sake, his, and our respective childrens. we live in california. is starting a divorce the only option for forcing him to move out? thanks

My response:

How long have you been married?

Are you forgetting that California is a Community Property State?

IAAL

 

[nancywalk]

weve been married less than 2 years. no common debts. no common assetts.

 

[Litigation!]

weve been married less than 2 years. no common debts. no common assetts.

My response:

Are you forgetting that California is a Community Property State?

IAAL

 

[rmet4nzkx]

My response:

Are you forgetting that California is a Community Property State?

IAAL

Here are more facts from her previous thread.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=278191
9-23-2005

What is the name of your state? ca

i own a house. my husband had no assets and had just declared bankruptcy before we married. he was working full time and i was working part time. i have one child living with us full time. his 2 children are now also living with us except for every other weekend visitation. our plan was for me to get pregnant, but that has not happened. he lost his job and has been on disability almost a year. at a year his disability payments will decrease. i feel he is not very responsible financially (he has had 2 checking accts closed w/negative balances and unpaid bills since we married 17 mos ago.) even tho i was working part time i had more money and less trouble paying the bills before we were 'sharing expenses' (he now pays the utilities and taxes and i pay the mortgage). i am tired of being broke and will be starting a full time job with benefits. (my part time job did not have benefits and i was without health coverage, tho my husband had cobra benefits, and the children were covered. i am not happy about my husbands choices and short of a divorce a post nuptial agreement seems like a way to deal with it. i dont want my husband (or myself) to have a claim to any spousal support or a share of my retirement savings, either the 401k money i have from prior work or the retirement savings i will contribute to in the new job. i have closed our joint checking acct. i also need a will because i want the house i own to pass to my son who is 14 and i have no college savings for him. son and husband are not getting along well and i probably need to find another guardian or at least a property guardian for him as his biological father has not been around in years and i dont trust him either. does this sound workable from a legal standpoint? thanks.

 

[nancywalk]

can you explain how that affects whether/how to get him to move out. does that mean divorce has to finalize. do i have to prove the lack of appreciation of the house? i know ca is a com property state. he has agreed in principle that he has no claim on the equity in the house.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Do you have your agreement in writing? Witnesses or other form of evidence that you indeed has a contract? You should have just continued this on your original thread and filled in the gaps. Has there been any domestic violence and if so, are there police reports. Are you receiving child support for your child? Is he providing child care for your child?

 

[nancywalk]

nothing in writing. witnesses: his mother and our marriage counselor. no domestic violence. i am not receiving any child support. my 14 year old does not need child care. thanks.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you given him 60 written days notice to move?

 

[Litigation!]

can you explain how that affects whether/how to get him to move out.

MY RESPONSE: He doesn't have to move out. You married a scammer, and that's your fault. However, the law says, for so long as husband and wife or registered domestic partners are living together, they owe each other a mutual duty of support. [Ca Fam § 4300--"Subject to this division (Ca Fam § 3500 et seq.), a person shall support the person's spouse"; Marriage of Pendleton & Fireman (2000) 24 Cal.4th 39, 52, 99 Cal.Rptr.2d 278, 288; see also Borelli v. Brusseau (1993) 12 Cal.App.4th 647, 652, 16 Cal.Rptr.2d 16, 18--"husband and wife assume mutual obligations of support upon marriage"]

The mutual spousal support duty during marriage operates independently of the parties' marital estate or financial circumstances. The parties' respective support obligations "are not conditioned on the existence of community property or income." [Borelli v. Brusseau, supra, 12 Cal.App.4th at 652, 16 Cal.Rptr.2d at 18]





does that mean divorce has to finalize.

MY RESPONSE: Yes. The said "duty" terminates IF he should move out, or upon order of the court; e.g., a final decree of Dissolution.



do i have to prove the lack of appreciation of the house?

MY RESPONSE: He's entitled to half of ALL appreciation since the date of marriage. I know, that's going to be a killer.




i know ca is a com property state. he has agreed in principle that he has no claim on the equity in the house.

MY RESPONSE: "In principle"? Believe me, the "principle" will change when you don't give him his half. Of course, all debts incurred since marriage will also be shared. So, you'll be able to subtract his half of the debts from what you owe him from your home. Then, you'll be on the hook for everything left over.

Here's a hint: Keep all credit cards out of his hands and try to keep him on a short leash. In the meantime, you'll be expected to house him and feed him.


IAAL

 

[nancywalk]

Have you given him 60 written days notice to move?

we agreed in the presence of the marriage counselor for him to move into the apt attached to my house and he would pay by Jan 31 or move out without discussion. Now its feb 3 and he says he doesnt have to move out. i will start moving his stuff out of the apt and let him sleep on the couch. but i have to rent the apt to cover the bills. if his exwife who just got out of residential rehab on the 1st knows that we are divorcing it may be harder for him to keep the kids. he only has them because she was arrested and went into rehab.

 

[Litigation!]

we agreed in the presence of the marriage counselor for him to move into the apt attached to my house and he would pay by Jan 31 or move out without discussion. Now its feb 3 and he says he doesnt have to move out. i will start moving his stuff out of the apt and let him sleep on the couch. but i have to rent the apt to cover the bills. if his exwife who just got out of residential rehab on the 1st knows that we are divorcing it may be harder for him to keep the kids. he only has them because she was arrested and went into rehab.

My response:

And you married this idiot? "Oh, but I thought I could change him!"

You deserve everything that happens to you.

IAAL

 

[nancywalk]

ouch! is that necessary? he had the same job for 13 yrs when i married him and was current on his child support. i didnt have reason to know this would happen.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Well you better get yourself a full time job with benes and an attorney ASAP, don't have them serve him with divorce papers when you are at work or you will be the one living in the apartment.