divorce please help

[jellybe999]

What is the name of your state? PA
i need to get a divorce and I have no money for a lawyer.these are the problems I have... first of all I do have pfa from my husband( protection from abuse) we have been together for 10 years maried since 1995. we have 3 kids together. we do own a house. unfortunatly I have always paid all the bills on the house but both of our names are on the house. we have a morgage and a 2nd morgage. I put the money down on the house from money that was left to me since my father passed away. without that we would not have this house. On june 8th of this year, I followed him and caught him cheating on me. things were very bad between us before that time. our whole marriage there has been abuse but I awalys took him back too many times to count. when I followed him I took pictures of him with this woman and then video taped them going from hotel to hotel looking for a room. Then when they finally got one I video taped them going into the hotel together and even got a copy of the reciept, which he used his own name. anyway he saw me and that was when I told him that I wanted a divorce and he told me that if I tried to use this (him cheating) he would kill me. that is when I got the pfa. he has violated the pfa a couple of times and he went to jail for 2 weeks each time. the first time he did 2,081 dollars worht of damage to the property and when we went to court for that the judge gave him 90 days to pay me the money to fix the things.(which he still has not paid one penny of ) the 90 days is up saturday. he is 1981. dollars behind in back shild support and just gave them ( child support ) a doctors note saying that he is "mentally disabled" and can not work so he is not going to own support because they cant charge him support if he is not allowed to work. he is collecting welfare also. he is living with his girlfriend right now ( not the one that I caught him with) my oldest daughter ( from my first marrage) told me a few weeks ago that he had touched her.. I reported him to children and youth and to the police. they are investagating this...I do have the pfa fro 18 months.. it is good till december 25th 2003. I need to get a divorce from this man I just can't afford a lawyer. I have called legal aid and they do not help to get a divorce. He has told me that he does want a divorce but he wants half the house. I will fight him all the way on that. you have to understand. I have 5 kids, 13, 12, (from my first marriage) 9, 2, 1 ( from him) I am also on permanent disablily. I get ssd and permanent workers comp. there is no way I can afford to get another house. I have very bad credit and the house I am in now I knew the owners so I have owner finance. with very low intrest... I dont think that he will just sign a no fault divorce because i know that he thinks he can get at least half of the house. besides I have may things to use against him to get a divorce but I would get a nofault divorce just to get rid of him but I know what he wants. if we sold the house rigth now me and my kids would have no wehre to live. besides from after paying both the morgages off and the other bills that we have there would be nothing left. does anyone know what I can do? i can not lose my house...this is the only thing the kids and I have. would a judge make me sell the house if he files since I do have 5 kids?can i file a divorce with grounds of abuse and adultry without a lawyer? we already have a custody case going on so a divorce would not include custody. just the bills and the house.what avout the fact that he is living with someone right now.. we are still married is that still considered adultry? i mean I do have the proof when I caught him but this is even more if I can use that.adn I do have proff that they are sleeping together(the one he is with now) she sent me a thank you card... believe it or not... she wrote how he gives her everlasting endless hours of true pleasure and how his talents are unlimited.. crazy I know but true. I just want to get rid of him....if you have a fault divorce is there still the 90 cooling off period?what if he wont sign the papers? i am pretty sure that I would have to wait 2 years then for a divorce.. I am not sure if that is even if you have grounds for a divorce. my big fear is that is I dont get a divorce right away.. when this pfa expires he can just walk right back into this house and there will be nothing I can do to stop him.with the pfa I have now he can not come to the house at all but what about when it expires... i just can't afford a lawyer. I am on a fixed income and I just dont know what to do..I am not affraid to go to court without one. i just can't lose my house. he has said in court that the only reason he has not filed for a divorce is because he can't afford one either so maybe he wouldn't have a lawyer either but i dont think i can take that chance. please if anyone can help me....

 

[annefan1000]

Your issues are numerous, so I will take this one step at a time...

Getting a divorce decree seems to be your most important goal right now, but simply obtaining such will not produce the effects you desire (such as acquiring sole possesion of the house)

1. In Pennsylvania, the court desires that child custody and support issues be dealt with before proceeding with a divorce.
This being said, you must first clear up that issue. Legal Aid in PA will help you, if you qualify, in this regard. Contact them ASAP.

2. There are three divorce options in PA: "Fault" (you would have to prove that you were the innocent and injured spouse) and "Consentual No-Fault" & "Non Consentual No-Fault". With a fault divorce, one must prove a statutorily cause such as abandonment, extramarital affair, physical abuse and so on. One party must be at fault and the other party "innocent and injured". Since it takes "two to tango" in most marriage breakups, and from a practical point of view, how often, in a marriage, is it that one party is completely and solely at fault and the other party has absolutely no fault? Rarely. In a consensual no-fault divorce, both parties agree to be divorced. A divorce complaint is filed and served. There is a 90 day cooling off period (intended by the legislature to give the parties time to "reflect' and be sure that the decision to be divorced is not made in haste) during which time nothing can be filed with regard to the divorce. Once the 90 days have passed, the court will divorce you, so long (in most cases) as the economic issues of the divorce have been agreed to. In your situation, from what you stated, the spouse is not agreeable regarding the disposition of marital assets. In a nonconsensual no-fault divorce, one party will not consent to be divorced. In that case, there is a two year waiting period (from the date of separation) before the court will divorce a party. Because of that length of time, some parties will attempt to do a fault divorce (where there is no waiting period) in order to be divorced faster. Under the nonconsensual no-fault method, once the two years have passed from the date of separation, the court will grant a party a divorce even if the other party refuses to consent. You need to decide which divorce option tailors your situation before you even begin the process.

3. If you have a judgment note and the obligor fails to pay, you can file a Notice to Request Execution of Judgment with the court. This will cost a small fee and the debtor will have 10 days to comply (pay) before they send a constable out to his/her house with the intent of auctioning off x number of dollars worth of his belongings until the judgment amount is satisfied. 9 times out of 10, the sheriff's visit is all the motivation the person needs to dig deep into his/her pockets and magically come up with the currency.

Hope this sheds a little light on the rules of civil procedure in Pennsylvania. Your situation is not uncomplicated and deals with the gamut of messy breakups. You might want to consider that the cost of an attorney, in the long run, will bring the most benefit to you and your children. There is a phone number for the Pennsylvania Bar Association in Harrisburg (look in your blue pages of the telephone book) and you can ask them for a "marginal referral". They will put you in contact with an attorney for an initial consultation for only $25, and generally, they will make recommendations for attorneys in your area who accept family court cases for a (sometimes drastically) reduced retainer.

Best of luck to you.