Do I have a valid complaint for divorce?

[smchavis]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I have been married almost 25 years. I have two daughters that are both in college. My husband has always been a hard working man and a loving father. He has been verbally abusive to me and the kids at times and he is very controlling. He does not recognize this at all. He professes he love to me daily and for the most part, has been a good provider. He has been in the Air Force reserve for 25 years and was on active duty for 2 years right after Sept. 11, 2001. He is on active duty now, because he was fired from his job in June 2008 and approx. 2 weeks after, found out he is scheduled for re-deployment to Afghanistan in January of 2009. I have spent a great deal of time alone during our married life, and I always tried to take it in stride. However, this time, I am simply too tired of it to care if he goes. My main issue with my husband is that we have not had sexual relations of any kind for over 5 years. I have begged, pleaded, cried on many occasions for him to see a doctor, but he has not gotten any help for this. He of course, says it is not me, that he just does not feel aroused anymore. I am tired of being hurt and alone. I have found someone else from my past that I have reconnected with and I have decided I want a divorce. What kind of a mess am I in for? I must seem like a terrible person, but I believe it is finally time for me. Need someone to give me some advice!

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I have been married almost 25 years. I have two daughters that are both in college. My husband has always been a hard working man and a loving father. He has been verbally abusive to me and the kids at times and he is very controlling. He does not recognize this at all. He professes he love to me daily and for the most part, has been a good provider. He has been in the Air Force reserve for 25 years and was on active duty for 2 years right after Sept. 11, 2001. He is on active duty now, because he was fired from his job in June 2008 and approx. 2 weeks after, found out he is scheduled for re-deployment to Afghanistan in January of 2009. I have spent a great deal of time alone during our married life, and I always tried to take it in stride. However, this time, I am simply too tired of it to care if he goes. My main issue with my husband is that we have not had sexual relations of any kind for over 5 years. I have begged, pleaded, cried on many occasions for him to see a doctor, but he has not gotten any help for this. He of course, says it is not me, that he just does not feel aroused anymore. I am tired of being hurt and alone. I have found someone else from my past that I have reconnected with and I have decided I want a divorce. What kind of a mess am I in for? I must seem like a terrible person, but I believe it is finally time for me. Need someone to give me some advice!

Contact Dear Abby, Ann Landers, Oprah, and, as a last resort, Dr, Phil.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I have been married almost 25 years. I have two daughters that are both in college. My husband has always been a hard working man and a loving father. He has been verbally abusive to me and the kids at times and he is very controlling. He does not recognize this at all. He professes he love to me daily and for the most part, has been a good provider. He has been in the Air Force reserve for 25 years and was on active duty for 2 years right after Sept. 11, 2001. He is on active duty now, because he was fired from his job in June 2008 and approx. 2 weeks after, found out he is scheduled for re-deployment to Afghanistan in January of 2009. I have spent a great deal of time alone during our married life, and I always tried to take it in stride. However, this time, I am simply too tired of it to care if he goes. My main issue with my husband is that we have not had sexual relations of any kind for over 5 years. I have begged, pleaded, cried on many occasions for him to see a doctor, but he has not gotten any help for this. He of course, says it is not me, that he just does not feel aroused anymore. I am tired of being hurt and alone. I have found someone else from my past that I have reconnected with and I have decided I want a divorce. What kind of a mess am I in for? I must seem like a terrible person, but I believe it is finally time for me. Need someone to give me some advice!

If you asking "Can I get a divorce?" The answer is yes, if you want out - get out.

If you are looking for someone here to say that its ok to look for greener pastures, especially when your husband is serving our country, and that adultery is OK - you won't find that here. At all.

Either get a divorce, or get some counseling. Or both. Preferably.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I have been married almost 25 years. I have two daughters that are both in college. My husband has always been a hard working man and a loving father. He has been verbally abusive to me and the kids at times and he is very controlling. He does not recognize this at all. He professes he love to me daily and for the most part, has been a good provider. He has been in the Air Force reserve for 25 years and was on active duty for 2 years right after Sept. 11, 2001. He is on active duty now, because he was fired from his job in June 2008 and approx. 2 weeks after, found out he is scheduled for re-deployment to Afghanistan in January of 2009. I have spent a great deal of time alone during our married life, and I always tried to take it in stride. However, this time, I am simply too tired of it to care if he goes. My main issue with my husband is that we have not had sexual relations of any kind for over 5 years. I have begged, pleaded, cried on many occasions for him to see a doctor, but he has not gotten any help for this. He of course, says it is not me, that he just does not feel aroused anymore. I am tired of being hurt and alone. I have found someone else from my past that I have reconnected with and I have decided I want a divorce. What kind of a mess am I in for? I must seem like a terrible person, but I believe it is finally time for me. Need someone to give me some advice!

This is a combination of personal and legal advice.

You are not going to be able to get a divorce until after your husband's deployment is over. There simply isn't enough time to get it done before he deploys, not after a 25 year marriage, and it would be put on hold once he deploys.

Take the time while he is deployed to find out if a divorce is really what you want. Get some counseling to help you make that decision.

A divorce is going to reak havoc on both of your finances, which can be very problematic when you have two kids in college.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is a combination of personal and legal advice.

You are not going to be able to get a divorce until after your husband's deployment is over. There simply isn't enough time to get it done before he deploys, not after a 25 year marriage, and it would be put on hold once he deploys.

Take the time while he is deployed to find out if a divorce is really what you want. Get some counseling to help you make that decision.

A divorce is going to reak havoc on both of your finances, which can be very problematic when you have two kids in college.

She could file now but it won't be granted until he comes back. And the kids can pay for their own college. But I agree on the counseling.