Do I need a Lawyer Yet??

[boiler]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

OK, so my spouse and I decided to get a divorce. She took from our savings $1500 to get a lawyer on retainer. We are trying to sell the house as I can't afford to pay for another place and a house payment too. She hasn't filed for divorce yet, but we both have been through the state mandated "Divorcing Parents with Childern" class.

I have not consulted a lawyer yet. I don't have money to do so. We have pretty much agreed in writing on the household items. I guess I am waiting to see what her lawyer drafts up first when it comes to spousal and child support and other items.

My question is -- Am I being stupid or nieve waiting for her lawyer's proposal? Go ahead, I can take it.

Thanks!

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

OK, so my spouse and I decided to get a divorce. She took from our savings $1500 to get a lawyer on retainer. We are trying to sell the house as I can't afford to pay for another place and a house payment too. She hasn't filed for divorce yet, but we both have been through the state mandated "Divorcing Parents with Childern" class.

I have not consulted a lawyer yet. I don't have money to do so. We have pretty much agreed in writing on the household items. I guess I am waiting to see what her lawyer drafts up first when it comes to spousal and child support and other items.

My question is -- Am I being stupid or nieve waiting for her lawyer's proposal? Go ahead, I can take it.


Thanks!

i say wait for the proposal. then take it to an attorney, pay a consukting fee, have them look it over and see what they say. who knows, the proposal might actually not be too far off of what you want anyway. and if it isn't, hit him back with your own proposal. can't hurt.

 

[boiler]

Well, I finally got served on Friday. I am going to have a lawyer look over the paperwork but I had a few questions while on the holiday weekend.

Due to her health problems she is asking for $2400 in "permanent alimony without regard to the length of marriage". We have been married for 17 years. Also, she wants for me to maintain all my life insurance policies and that she starys being the beneficiary on all policies. If I can even afford to keep the policies, then I want to make the kids the beneficiaries.

Since she doesn't work she wants me to pay off all the debts and continue to pay off the mortgage until the house sells. On top of paying her alimony. She is stating that she doesn't have the ability to pay the marital debts. What does she think the alimony is?

I would like some opinions before I see a lawyer. Thanks!

 

[mistoffolees]

Well, I finally got served on Friday. I am going to have a lawyer look over the paperwork but I had a few questions while on the holiday weekend.

Due to her health problems she is asking for $2400 in "permanent alimony without regard to the length of marriage". We have been married for 17 years. Also, she wants for me to maintain all my life insurance policies and that she starys being the beneficiary on all policies. If I can even afford to keep the policies, then I want to make the kids the beneficiaries.

Since she doesn't work she wants me to pay off all the debts and continue to pay off the mortgage until the house sells. On top of paying her alimony. She is stating that she doesn't have the ability to pay the marital debts. What does she think the alimony is?

I would like some opinions before I see a lawyer. Thanks!

See a lawyer.

First, she's going to have to go to work. if she refuses, the court will impute an income.

As for the rest, it's impossible to say if what she is asking is reasonable - without knowing your income, her earning potential and so on. In addition, there's nothing there about property division, including retirement assets.

 

[nextwife]

If she's that "disabled" why isn't she getting SSDI?

I know someone who had a chunk of their brain cut out, was partially paralyzed on one side, lost much of their speech ability and still worked and earned a living.

 

[boiler]

More information -- I will make about $93,000 plus $9,000 as a bonus this year. We homeschool which she may claim as a "job". She has a heart problem and hasn't worked since we have been married. She keeps saying that she will just get turned down for SSDI. She only worked 8 years before her condition was diagnoised. Child support will be $1450 total for the two kids then the $2400 for her. That will leave me roughly $2200 a month.

 

[Proserpina]

More information -- I will make about $93,000 plus $9,000 as a bonus this year. We homeschool which she may claim as a "job". She has a heart problem and hasn't worked since we have been married. She keeps saying that she will just get turned down for SSDI. She only worked 8 years before her condition was diagnoised. Child support will be $1450 total for the two kids then the $2400 for her. That will leave me roughly $2200 a month.

The nature of her condition would actually determine the likelihood of her receiving SSDI/SSI. Many heart conditions are considered benign and millions of heart patients can work...

...and she won't know for sure until/unless she applies.

Frankly I don't think you can afford NOT to get an attorney.

 

[mistoffolees]

More information -- I will make about $93,000 plus $9,000 as a bonus this year. We homeschool which she may claim as a "job". She has a heart problem and hasn't worked since we have been married. She keeps saying that she will just get turned down for SSDI. She only worked 8 years before her condition was diagnoised. Child support will be $1450 total for the two kids then the $2400 for her. That will leave me roughly $2200 a month.

You absolutely need an attorney. On your salary, it's extremely unlikely that she'd get $2400 per month - even if she CAN get a doctor to say that she's unable to work.

If she can homeschool a child, then she's capable of working. If you do it properly, it's hard work. Of course, if she's not doing a good job, the child is better off in public school.

 

[nextwife]

More information -- I will make about $93,000 plus $9,000 as a bonus this year. We homeschool which she may claim as a "job". She has a heart problem and hasn't worked since we have been married. She keeps saying that she will just get turned down for SSDI. She only worked 8 years before her condition was diagnoised. Child support will be $1450 total for the two kids then the $2400 for her. That will leave me roughly $2200 a month.

Good grief, my uncle had serious cardiomiopathy and a pacemaker, and worked full time and past retirement. My friend, she had a hole in her heart and worked before and after the repair surgery. My mom had a valve replacement, and worked full time well onto her 60s, and part time into her 70s.

So, what, she never intends to work again or save toward her own retirement?

 

[LdiJ]

You absolutely need an attorney. On your salary, it's extremely unlikely that she'd get $2400 per month - even if she CAN get a doctor to say that she's unable to work.

If she can homeschool a child, then she's capable of working. If you do it properly, it's hard work. Of course, if she's not doing a good job, the child is better off in public school.

Just a couple of points to make:

I have a friend with congential heart failure and she definitely cannot work.

Also, someone who worked only 8 years prior to marriage may not qualify for SSDI, and SSI is minimal. However I agree that she should apply.

The amount of child support calculated is likely accurate for guideline support.

I agree that the alimony is a bit high. However, since alimony is tax deductible to you and taxable to her, your monthly take home would be about 600.00 higher than you estimated, assuming that you adjust your withholding to account for the alimony...otherwise, you will just end up with a big refund.

If her health condition is serious, she might get permanent alimony. One of the problems is that health insurance is going to be a major cost for her. That also could be why her attorney is asking for alimony that high.

 

[mistoffolees]

The amount of child support calculated is likely accurate for guideline support.

I agree that the alimony is a bit high. However, since alimony is tax deductible to you and taxable to her, your monthly take home would be about 600.00 higher than you estimated, assuming that you adjust your withholding to account for the alimony...otherwise, you will just end up with a big refund.

Alimony is not just a bit high, it's way high - for permanent alimony.

In addition, if she's receiving that much alimony, then she should be able to contribute to child expenses, so child support is probably over calculated.

 

[LdiJ]

Alimony is not just a bit high, it's way high - for permanent alimony.

In addition, if she's receiving that much alimony, then she should be able to contribute to child expenses, so child support is probably over calculated.

I disagree about the alimony. Its under 1/3 of his gross income, and that's not unheard of for an alimony award. However, I think its high because clearly the child support wasn't taken into consideration when calculating the alimony.

I just ran the child support numbers through the official UT child support calculator and I agree. Unless we are talking about multiple children, the child support is even a bit high without taking the alimony into consideration.

 

[mistoffolees]

I disagree about the alimony. Its under 1/3 of his gross income, and that's not unheard of for an alimony award.

Lifetime? Not likely.

My alimony started at about 15% of my gross income and declined annually before disappearing after 4 years. And that's based on a 14 year marriage. 33% of gross FOR LIFE? Can you point to a single example where anyone ever got such an amount? (Not to mention, of course, that it hasn't been established that OP can't work, anyway).

 

[LdiJ]

Lifetime? Not likely.

My alimony started at about 15% of my gross income and declined annually before disappearing after 4 years. And that's based on a 14 year marriage. 33% of gross FOR LIFE? Can you point to a single example where anyone ever got such an amount? (Not to mention, of course, that it hasn't been established that OP can't work, anyway).

I think its established that the OP can work...LOL. Its the OP's spouse that is potentially unable to work.

Misto, you really need to stop using your case as a benchmark for all cases. On top of that your ex is not disabled and makes a decent income of her own.
The OP's spouse has been out of the workforce for 17 years and is potentially disabled...and even if not disabled, is going to have high insurance costs.

However, since the OP REALLY needs an attorney of his own, that is where he needs to direct his questions.