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  #1  
Old 11-13-2004, 12:12 AM
mines2
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Does she get 1/2 of 401k, after 1 year of marriage.


What is the name of your state? Texas
I have been married 1 year. The whole wedding and dance. I have a good job for the past 5 years, a son from a previouse relationship, and a house in my name purchased before marriage. No children with my wife and she has no children, does not work since she is going to college that I am paying for, she will get her degree come May.
I am not happy, I think my wife being 21 yrs old is still very immature and I really don't feel she wants to be married as she wants to go out with her sisters when I am working shift work. I am in my late 20s and impatient and want a wife that will stay home and wait for when my days off We can do things together or both do things seperate but on the same days. I need to know my wife is home waiting for me because she wants too. When I try to discuss this with her she says I am a control freak.
If I divorce her will she be entitled to 1/2 of my 401k or just one year's worth.
I have my son as beneficiary in all my insurances at my job. We have not bought anything together as yet. Oh, yes we got a dog since we married.
Can I request that she pay back the college tuition that I have paid for her?
Does she get 1/2 of our savings account, even though she has not put a penny in.
  #2  
Old 11-13-2004, 12:34 AM
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So it is all her fault about your failed marriage and you do not want to provide her with anything. You are acting like you did not know this about her before you got married... Yeah right.... What, is she a pretty woman and more than what you expected you could get and now you do not like what is all attached to this relationship.... One year, way to go.
Anyway, kiss the college money good-bye, there will be no claim there, I also think alimony will be a minimum because of her youth and new degree come this may she can work. However, I would suggest not to imply you want your wife standing by and begging for your return... control freak might justly come up. I do not see where she would get 50% of your 401k, but I do see her getting a portion if she is fighting for that.
You married someone that was not ready to get married and you knew that, now you must pay to correct your errors. Not that major but dont completely blast her, it appears everything was equal here from what you are stating.
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  #3  
Old 11-13-2004, 01:24 AM
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Here is a site with a basic idea of how Texas Divorce and possible division of property may go: [url]http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/texas.shtml[/url]

Its actually feasible for the spouse who *aided* in the financial contribution for the other spouse to gain a higher education to address the courts for any future income from such degree. Consult with a lawyer though since each state carries its own rulings and the amount of time of the marriage will play a large factor.

As an end note, have you considered marriage counseling? Just an idea to ponder....
  #4  
Old 11-13-2004, 07:51 AM
bjpass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mines2
What is the name of your state? Texas
I have been married 1 year. The whole wedding and dance. I have a good job for the past 5 years, a son from a previouse relationship, and a house in my name purchased before marriage. No children with my wife and she has no children, does not work since she is going to college that I am paying for, she will get her degree come May.
I am not happy, I think my wife being 21 yrs old is still very immature and I really don't feel she wants to be married as she wants to go out with her sisters when I am working shift work. I am in my late 20s and impatient and want a wife that will stay home and wait for when my days off We can do things together or both do things seperate but on the same days. I need to know my wife is home waiting for me because she wants too. When I try to discuss this with her she says I am a control freak.
If I divorce her will she be entitled to 1/2 of my 401k or just one year's worth.
I have my son as beneficiary in all my insurances at my job. We have not bought anything together as yet. Oh, yes we got a dog since we married.
Can I request that she pay back the college tuition that I have paid for her?
Does she get 1/2 of our savings account, even though she has not put a penny in.
You do sound like a control freak and I am 27 years old. I do agree that you should be doing things together on the weekends but why on earth would you think she should just sit at home twiddle her thumbs and not go places with her sister. Atleast its not another man. She needs to beable to have her own freedoms. If you want someone that is willing to sit at home waiting and waiting for you to come you will most likely never find that. SHe is a human being not a dog you can tell to STAY!
This is the worst reason in the world to get a divorce. My husband and I are getting ready to go thru a divorce but I never told him NO you cant go hang with your mom or dad ( no siblings) As he never told me not to hang with my sister. That is just sick. There has to be more to your reasons why you want a divorce that your not telling us. I dont believe your unhappy for that. IF this is true then maybe you need to grow up and not the other way around!
  #5  
Old 11-13-2004, 08:23 AM
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It's unlikely that you're going to see any benefit from her schooling. That usually comes into play when you're talking about professional degrees - MDs, JDs, PhDs. Not a BA from Podunk U.

I'd frankly suggest some counseling - for you. You married this young lady with the obvious thought of her being younger and more malleable than a woman your own age.

She is likely entitled to half of whatever has been purchased during the marriage, as well as whatever appreciation there has been in your 401(k).

Next time - stick with the dog. Try not to beat it into submission, tho.
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  #6  
Old 11-13-2004, 09:41 AM
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Bottom line is this: she should not be entitled to what you brought into the marriage. That includes whatever was in the 401K when you married her. Whatever debts and assets accrued DURING the marriage is subject to division between you.
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  #7  
Old 11-13-2004, 12:40 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 41,303
Quote:
Originally Posted by mines2
What is the name of your state? Texas
I have been married 1 year. The whole wedding and dance. I have a good job for the past 5 years, a son from a previouse relationship, and a house in my name purchased before marriage. No children with my wife and she has no children, does not work since she is going to college that I am paying for, she will get her degree come May.
I am not happy, I think my wife being 21 yrs old is still very immature and I really don't feel she wants to be married as she wants to go out with her sisters when I am working shift work. I am in my late 20s and impatient and want a wife that will stay home and wait for when my days off We can do things together or both do things seperate but on the same days. I need to know my wife is home waiting for me because she wants too. When I try to discuss this with her she says I am a control freak.
If I divorce her will she be entitled to 1/2 of my 401k or just one year's worth.
I have my son as beneficiary in all my insurances at my job. We have not bought anything together as yet. Oh, yes we got a dog since we married.
Can I request that she pay back the college tuition that I have paid for her?
Does she get 1/2 of our savings account, even though she has not put a penny in.
I would have to "ditto" the fact that you sound like a control freak. Why in the world should she have to stay at home while you are working instead of going out with her sisters? Good luck ever finding a woman who is willing to live the kind of life you want her to live.
  #8  
Old 11-13-2004, 01:04 PM
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Posts: 19,145
Actually, I DO know some woman who have been that kind of wife and would be willing to live that way.

I'm just not sure how interested our poster would be in marrying someone in their mid to late 80s.
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!

Last edited by nextwife; 11-13-2004 at 04:29 PM.
  #9  
Old 11-13-2004, 03:59 PM
AHA AHA is offline
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I doubt you will ever find a woman who thinks happiness shouldn't be more than sitting locked up at home until her hubby gets there to take her out for some air.

Fortunately the female gender has evolved and become more dependent and standing up for what they want, think and believe will make them happy. Although in some cultures and nationalities little girls are raised thinking a good life is a life being a man's personal slave at home and to agree with everything he says or does. I'm not going to tell which cultures and nationalities because that will make it to easy for you .

I suggest you either change your view on marriage or accept to spend your life alone with a dog at the most. You know, a lot of people just aren't marriage material and are better off single. That way you'd never be disappointed.
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