Establishing Residency & Filing for Divorce

[MrsBales]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

How long does it take to establish residency in Montana?
How long would I have to wait to file for divorce after establishing residency then? When my spouse is in another state?


Thanks!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

How long does it take to establish residency in Montana?
How long would I have to wait to file for divorce after establishing residency then? When my spouse is in another state?


Thanks!

And you are in Ohio now? DO NOT start different threads. The issue is that Montana would not necessarily have JURISIDICTION over your spouse. has your spouse lived in Montana during the marriage? Does he own property in Montana? Do you plan on taking your daughter with you? You don't like the deal you would get in Ohio and that is why you want to move?

Why do you believe your husband would you allow you to move HIS CHILD to Montana?

 

[MrsBales]

And you are in Ohio now? DO NOT start different threads. The issue is that Montana would not necessarily have JURISIDICTION over your spouse. has your spouse lived in Montana during the marriage? Does he own property in Montana? Do you plan on taking your daughter with you? You don't like the deal you would get in Ohio and that is why you want to move?

Why do you believe your husband would you allow you to move HIS CHILD to Montana?

Sorry, thought it was a different topic.
Yes, I am in Ohio now. A few months ago I was offered a job in Montana with two past colleagues & a good friend; at first I turned it down but found out the position is still on the table if I want it. The position wouldnt start until Aug/Sept. The facility is in the construction phase right now. I am supposed to fly out to check everything out in July if interested for a couple days, the kids will be with Grandma for Summer break for 2 weeks.
My spouse doesn’t know about the job offer. No, my spouse has never been to Montana nor owns property there. Yes, I would take my children with me. No, I don’t think he would allow me to move with her. I do not have family or means of living in Ohio on my own with my current position nor foresee going back to fulltime in the next 9-12 months. I have been applying for positions & have had interviews but when there are 50-100+ applicants, it hard to get the third interview. The economy here (as everywhere) is horrible.

The house is his prior to our marriage; however 95% of the furnishings are from my home prior to us ever meeting. I would leave everything except for my & the children’s personal items & clothing. I would have a furnished apartment for 4-6 months provided by new employer until I found a place of my own.

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry, thought it was a different topic.
Yes, I am in Ohio now. A few months ago I was offered a job in Montana with two past colleagues & a good friend; at first I turned it down but found out the position is still on the table if I want it. The position wouldnt start until Aug/Sept. The facility is in the construction phase right now. I am supposed to fly out to check everything out in July if interested for a couple days, the kids will be with Grandma for Summer break for 2 weeks.
My spouse doesn’t know about the job offer. No, my spouse has never been to Montana nor owns property there. Yes, I would take my children with me. No, I don’t think he would allow me to move with her. I do not have family or means of living in Ohio on my own with my current position nor foresee going back to fulltime in the next 9-12 months. I have been applying for positions & have had interviews but when there are 50-100+ applicants, it hard to get the third interview. The economy here (as everywhere) is horrible.

The house is his prior to our marriage; however 95% of the furnishings are from my home prior to us ever meeting. I would leave everything except for my & the children’s personal items & clothing. I would have a furnished apartment for 4-6 months provided by new employer until I found a place of my own.

It is REALLY doubful that a court will allow you to move the children out of state. Resolve your issues BRFORE moving or you will likely be the NCP.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, thought it was a different topic.
Yes, I am in Ohio now. A few months ago I was offered a job in Montana with two past colleagues & a good friend; at first I turned it down but found out the position is still on the table if I want it. The position wouldnt start until Aug/Sept. The facility is in the construction phase right now. I am supposed to fly out to check everything out in July if interested for a couple days, the kids will be with Grandma for Summer break for 2 weeks.
My spouse doesn’t know about the job offer. No, my spouse has never been to Montana nor owns property there. Yes, I would take my children with me. No, I don’t think he would allow me to move with her. I do not have family or means of living in Ohio on my own with my current position nor foresee going back to fulltime in the next 9-12 months. I have been applying for positions & have had interviews but when there are 50-100+ applicants, it hard to get the third interview. The economy here (as everywhere) is horrible.

The house is his prior to our marriage; however 95% of the furnishings are from my home prior to us ever meeting. I would leave everything except for my & the children’s personal items & clothing. I would have a furnished apartment for 4-6 months provided by new employer until I found a place of my own.

Then Montana would NOT have jurisdiction over your spouse. You can move and then dad can go to court in Ohio and petition for HIS child to be returned to this state and most likely -- if he does it soon enough -- the court will ORDER his child returned.

 

[nextwife]

You CAN leave your child and move there, but Montana would not have jurisdiction regarding any assets which you and he accrued together in another state when he never lived in Montana. He is not subject to Montana marital dissolution laws.

 

[MrsBales]

It is REALLY doubful that a court will allow you to move the children out of state. Resolve your issues BRFORE moving or you will likely be the NCP.

If I file for divorce & ask for him to be removed from the house (before he has me removed, because he is spitefully & control freak) there is no way I could afford to pay the mortgage & electric, etc (besides all the bills are in his name & he is the bread winner so to speak 100K to my 23K at current job). Would the Judge order him to maintain the bills if I had him removed?
If he has me removed I would have no where to go nor the funds to rent an apartment. & divorce process could take a year or longer. I wouldn’t be able to take the new job if I so desired.
I spoke to legal aid & they told me I could just leave him without his permission w/ the kids. But if I filed for divorce & then left I couldn’t leave the State/County. Or Could I file for divorce & Temp Order for child & spousal support & ask for permission to leave with letter of employment in Montana (if I took the job)?
I can’t see a judge giving his custody since he has DUI conviction, and I just found out Friday he was drinking& driving with our daughter in the car (I’m livid!) He also works shift work & wouldn’t have childcare for his midnight shifts. (His co worker that is getting a divorce wasn’t awarded custody due to his shift work schedule)

I just want to try to get all the info I can before things get worse & come home with TRO & police waiting for me to pack up & leave & no where to go.
So Darned if I do, Darned if I dont?

Thanks in advance for your insight.

 

[Ohiogal]

If I file for divorce & ask for him to be removed from the house (before he has me removed, because he is spitefully & control freak) there is no way I could afford to pay the mortgage & electric, etc (besides all the bills are in his name & he is the bread winner so to speak 100K to my 23K at current job).

WEll then you have too much house.

Would the Judge order him to maintain the bills if I had him removed?

No.

If he has me removed I would have no where to go nor the funds to rent an apartment. & divorce process could take a year or longer. I wouldn’t be able to take the new job if I so desired.

Yes you could take the new job. What you couldn't do is remove the child from the jurisdiction of the court without dad's or the court's permission.

I spoke to legal aid & they told me I could just leave him without his permission w/ the kids. But if I filed for divorce & then left I couldn’t leave the State/County. Or Could I file for divorce & Temp Order for child & spousal support & ask for permission to leave with letter of employment in Montana (if I took the job)?

You could. But you wouldn't necessarily get permission to relocate the child.

I can’t see a judge giving his custody since he has DUI conviction, and I just found out Friday he was drinking& driving with our daughter in the car (I’m livid!) He also works shift work & wouldn’t have childcare for his midnight shifts. (His co worker that is getting a divorce wasn’t awarded custody due to his shift work schedule)

You cannot guarantee that. He can get custody with a DUI conviction. Why didn't you know he was drinking and driving with your daughter? What PROOF do you have? Any relatives live in the area? Where does his coworker's spouse reside?

I just want to try to get all the info I can before things get worse & come home with TRO & police waiting for me to pack up & leave & no where to go.
So Darned if I do, Darned if I dont?

Why would you have a TRO? What have you done?

 

[MrsBales]

You CAN leave your child and move there, but Montana would not have jurisdiction regarding any assets which you and he accrued together in another state when he never lived in Montana. He is not subject to Montana marital dissolution laws.

The house is his prior to us marrying, the furnishings are mine but I dont want them, just to get out. & and have peace of mind & be able to provide a happy safe enviroment for my children. Only items that have been purchsed during our marriage is his new truck(he pays for) & my van (which I pay for) and having a child together(he provides home, utilities & daycare for her, I provide food, clothing, Dr visits, medicines & every other thing for both our daughter & my son)
I dont think I have any claim to the house do I?
I thought that whatever we owned pior to marriage was ours? I've sold whatever I had of value to provide food, etc. since he will not give me an money.

 

[nextwife]

The house is his prior to us marrying, the furnishings are mine but I dont want them, just to get out. & and have peace of mind & be able to provide a happy safe enviroment for my children. Only items that have been purchsed during our marriage is his new truck(he pays for) & my van (which I pay for) and having a child together(he provides home, utilities & daycare for her, I provide food, clothing, Dr visits, medicines & every other thing for both our daughter & my son)
I dont think I have any claim to the house do I?
I thought that whatever we owned pior to marriage was ours? I've sold whatever I had of value to provide food, etc. since he will not give me an money.

If there has been appreciation during the marriage, you may be entitled to a 50% share of any value appreciation. I'm not certain if you would/should also share 50% of any DEPRECIATION that occurred during the marriage. Unless you are now ON TITLE you would NOT be entitled to get his house or have him kicked out of the house he brought to the marriage.

AS to covering every single cost of the child you had prior to this relationship, that is not his issue. Support for that child is only the responsiblity of you and that child's father. Sounds like he's putting a roof over his head, which is the single greatest expense most household's have. Utilities and daycare is a HUGE percentage of overall outlay here in the Midwest- I know I just paid $538 for just Jan. heat/electric alone, which is way more than I spend on groceries/clothing/O.O.P. prescription costs for my daughter in one month.

 

[MrsBales]

WEll then you have too much house.

No.

Yes you could take the new job. What you couldn't do is remove the child from the jurisdiction of the court without dad's or the court's permission.

You could. But you wouldn't necessarily get permission to relocate the child.


You cannot guarantee that. He can get custody with a DUI conviction. Why didn't you know he was drinking and driving with your daughter? What PROOF do you have? Any relatives live in the area? Where does his coworker's spouse reside?


Why would you have a TRO? What have you done?

Its his house-he pays for it, we dated, married, I moved in we had child together... I just live in it, clean & cook, take care of the kids & work part time. I am sort of a "kept woman" in a way.

My proof is that he came home buzzed from the bowling alley giddy & smelling like beer and I called & asked someone that bowls on the same league & she said, yes he was drinking & it wasn’t the first time, while having our daughter with him. I was livid, still am!!!
He has a mother & step-father (mother is not well, going through cancer treatment, step-father-Army drill Sarg- that drinks like a fish. His sister is on welfare, part tiem job & is a drug user, her two underage children have babies, huge mess)

His coworker & ex-wife (to-be) live blocks from each other.
I have no done anything (unless him calling be a Bit*% & told me to get out while he was drunk & I threw a cup full of ice tea on him, 2 yrs ago)
But his co-worker filed a TRO and had his wife & 2 daughters removed from their home & took her keys. Luckily she has family here to stay with) She called me & told me, when they appeared in court, he was afraid of her temper & said she hit him(which this occurrence happened a 1 yr ago...) It was exaggerated. He is 6’2” 250# & she is 5’2” 130#. She wants the divorce, but he filed.

It just scared me & crazy enough... the thought of it happening… I have no family here…since his coworker & my spouse are best friends.

 

[MrsBales]

Thanks for all your insight…

I guess I will pull out what little I have in my 401 to have on hand in case I have to get a hotel or efficiency apt. And call welfare & legal aid to see what my options are just incase. I don’t know the area that well since I’m a transplant from 50 miles away & I’m either at work , at home with kids, Dr office & store.

Thanks

 

[Ohiogal]

Its his house-he pays for it, we dated, married, I moved in we had child together... I just live in it, clean & cook, take care of the kids & work part time. I am sort of a "kept woman" in a way.

He made payments during the marriage? You could ask for temporary possession of the home during divorce proceedings. You have a 50/50 shot of getting it but you will NOT be awarded the house even though it is partially marital property.

My proof is that he came home buzzed from the bowling alley giddy & smelling like beer and I called & asked someone that bowls on the same league & she said, yes he was drinking & it wasn’t the first time, while having our daughter with him. I was livid, still am!!!

He can drink. He can drive. Doesn't mean he was drunk. It is legal for him to drink and drive with the child. He cannot drive while intoxicated but you have NO PROOF that he was intoxicated. NONE. You are not specifically trained and have expertise in detecting what his BAC is nor did you at that time. Be livid. Doesn't mean he was drunk.

He has a mother & step-father (mother is not well, going through cancer treatment, step-father-Army drill Sarg- that drinks like a fish. His sister is on welfare, part tiem job & is a drug user, her two underage children have babies, huge mess)

And how often does the daughter see them? I notice you are slamming them left and right.

His coworker & ex-wife (to-be) live blocks from each other.

Did you look at the sixteen factors for custody? Let's review shall we?

(F)(1) In determining the best interest of a child pursuant to this section, whether on an original decree allocating parental rights and responsibilities for the care of children or a modification of a decree allocating those rights and responsibilities, the court shall consider all relevant factors, including, but not limited to:

(a) The wishes of the child's parents regarding the child's care;

(b) If the court has interviewed the child in chambers pursuant to division (B) of this section regarding the child's wishes and concerns as to the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities concerning the child, the wishes and concerns of the child, as expressed to the court;

(c) The child's interaction and interrelationship with the child's parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interest;
(d) The child's adjustment to the child's home, school, and community;

(e) The mental and physical health of all persons involved in the situation;

(f) The parent more likely to honor and facilitate court-approved parenting time rights or visitation and companionship rights;

(g) Whether either parent has failed to make all child support payments, including all arrearages, that are required of that parent pursuant to a child support order under which that parent is an obligor;

(h) Whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to any criminal offense involving any act that resulted in a child being an abused child or a neglected child; whether either parent, in a case in which a child has been adjudicated an abused child or a neglected child, previously has been determined to be the perpetrator of the abusive or neglectful act that is the basis of an adjudication; whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to a violation of section 2919.25 of the Revised Code or a sexually oriented offense involving a victim who at the time of the commission of the offense was a member of the family or household that is the subject of the current proceeding; whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to any offense involving a victim who at the time of the commission of the offense was a member of the family or household that is the subject of the current proceeding and caused physical harm to the victim in the commission of the offense; and whether there is reason to believe that either parent has acted in a manner resulting in a child being an abused child or a neglected child;

(i) Whether the residential parent or one of the parents subject to a shared parenting decree has continuously and willfully denied the other parent's right to parenting time in accordance with an order of the court;

(j) Whether either parent has established a residence, or is planning to establish a residence, outside this state.

The bolded can sink you. As for the other stuff you have NOT provided details.

I have no done anything (unless him calling be a Bit*% & told me to get out while he was drunk & I threw a cup full of ice tea on him, 2 yrs ago)

That doesn't matter but you do realize that that was assault on YOUR part?

But his co-worker filed a TRO and had his wife & 2 daughters removed from their home & took her keys. Luckily she has family here to stay with) She called me & told me, when they appeared in court, he was afraid of her temper & said she hit him(which this occurrence happened a 1 yr ago...) It was exaggerated. He is 6’2” 250# & she is 5’2” 130#. She wants the divorce, but he filed.

YOU have no clue quite frankly. SHE could be violent and she could be more dangerous than she is. The courts apparently found there was just reason for him to get a TRO. I don't care how big she was, I have seen such people in jail for MURDERING their larger spouse. Size is NOT a determining factor.

It just scared me & crazy enough... the thought of it happening… I have no family here…since his coworker & my spouse are best friends.

Oh well. Your CHILD has family here. Whether you do doesn't really matter.

 

[mistoffolees]

My proof is that he came home buzzed from the bowling alley giddy & smelling like beer and I called & asked someone that bowls on the same league & she said, yes he was drinking & it wasn’t the first time, while having our daughter with him. I was livid, still am!!!

Other people have addressed most of your issues, but I want to address this one. From what you described, you have absolutely ZERO proof that he has been driving DUI with your daughter in the car. First, it's your word against his at this point. Second, unless you have a properly licensed and calibrated alcohol meter and tested him with a third party witness, you don't have a leg to stand on.

I'm very conscious of this issue because my ex-wife used to accuse me of being drunk - after I'd have one beer at dinner (I'm around 200 lb and have normal alcohol tolerance). Some people think ANY alcohol is evil and that you're immediately out of control if you drink anything. That is just not true.