Ex-Husband Not Paying -- Creditors Suing Me

[ParkerGirl]

State = UT

I went through a simple divorce in 2004 (just a few pages). My ex-husband got to keep everything (home with very little equity) except for the car that I use. In turn, the judge assigned him all the credit card and other debt, except for my car.

I just got a call from Wells Fargo Student Loans, and they said they'll be taking me to court for $1,097.00 that is owed on a student loan for an apple computer. He has since sold the computer on eBay (for $50). I also found out that he has not been taking care of the debts per the divorce court decree. His car was also repossesed.

I'm a full time student, and I work only part-time at a low-wage job. He works full time and makes $20/hour. He's also constantly broke because of his drug habit.

What I need to know is this -- If I borrow money from my mom to pay off the Wells Fargo loan, can I then file in Small Claims Court and sue him for that amount? Or do I have to get an attorney and go back into Divorce Court? It would be cheaper for me to do Small Claims... I can't afford an attorney. Also, I now live in Boise, ID. Can I add plane fare, hotel and meals to my claim when I have to fly up to appear in UT Small Claims Court on the day of trial?

I really need to know what to do here. They're going to file on February 1st, and the lady said they won't accept partial payments (because he already failed to pay them as agreed).

Thank you... anyone?

 

[stealth2]

Your best bet really would be to pay off the loan and then file against him for contempt of the order in the same court you were granted your divorce.

 

[ParkerGirl]

I phoned my ex-husband at his work (which is the only phone I have for him now), and told him that I'd be borrowing the money from my mom and paying off the student loan, then taking him to small claims court.

He got really angry with me, and hung up. He called me back later, and said that he would pay half the amount ($509) if I agreed to spend the week of spring break at his place, and allow him and his two friends to have sex with me "with no limits". I know what he means by this, because while we were married he cheated on me, and I finally found out because a woman filed a police report (battery?) saying that he was so aggressive with her during "backdoor" sex that she required hospitalization and stitches to her rectum to control the bleeding. He had to go to court, and that's how I found out. Now he's threatening me with the same thing -- either I allow him and his friends to abuse me sexually for a week, or he won't pay his half of the remaining loan amount.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'll have to drop out of school if I'm forced to come up with the entire amount that's owed. I feel like it's almost better to just let him and his friends do things to me than to be delayed another whole year with school. Can I at least make them sign something that says they won't do anal sex or that if it hurts too much they have to do it a different way? I just don't know what to do -- he knows I'm trapped. I know that he and his buddies enjoy doing extreme things to women. It gives them satisfaction to see a woman in pain that way. Even with me, while we were married, he was that way -- he'd like to see how wide he could get me and even went so far as trying to insert strange objects in me (cell phone, pliers, and really thick candles among other things). I just wish there were another way, but my time is running out and I have to make a choice.

 

[Silverplum]

Ew. Ew. And ew.

Take Stealth's advice.

 

[Theresalee]

Parkergirl,
I don't know if you are still reading here but if you do get a document made up from him asking for the favor, have him sign it then take it to court as proof what an ass he is!!! If anything give it to the woman who had or has a case against him, It could be useful??? I can not offer any advice as far as legal goes but have more respect for yourself then what he does O.K and Do NOt do it.. No money is worth that!!! Get a witness on the other line of the phone when you talk, record it if legal etc... If it were me I would give him something to stuff there when all was said and done? The Bill for the loan and anything else that will fit!!!! He is a PIG!!!! Stand up for yourself and if you are right you will win in court and you'll screw him that way..
Sorry but that post hit a nerve with me and i sure hope you tell him to Stuff it? But then again he will probably like it.... Theresa

 

[stealth2]

I don't know what to do anymore. I'll have to drop out of school if I'm forced to come up with the entire amount that's owed. I feel like it's almost better to just let him and his friends do things to me than to be delayed another whole year with school. Can I at least make them sign something that says they won't do anal sex or that if it hurts too much they have to do it a different way?

Oh for Christ's sake - if you really consider that option, you deserve what you get. Borrow the money and then sue him for it.

 

[LdiJ]

State = UT

I went through a simple divorce in 2004 (just a few pages). My ex-husband got to keep everything (home with very little equity) except for the car that I use. In turn, the judge assigned him all the credit card and other debt, except for my car.

I just got a call from Wells Fargo Student Loans, and they said they'll be taking me to court for $1,097.00 that is owed on a student loan for an apple computer. He has since sold the computer on eBay (for $50). I also found out that he has not been taking care of the debts per the divorce court decree. His car was also repossesed.

I'm a full time student, and I work only part-time at a low-wage job. He works full time and makes $20/hour. He's also constantly broke because of his drug habit.

What I need to know is this -- If I borrow money from my mom to pay off the Wells Fargo loan, can I then file in Small Claims Court and sue him for that amount? Or do I have to get an attorney and go back into Divorce Court? It would be cheaper for me to do Small Claims... I can't afford an attorney. Also, I now live in Boise, ID. Can I add plane fare, hotel and meals to my claim when I have to fly up to appear in UT Small Claims Court on the day of trial?

I really need to know what to do here. They're going to file on February 1st, and the lady said they won't accept partial payments (because he already failed to pay them as agreed).

Thank you... anyone?

Yes you can pay off the debt and then sue him. However, realistically you may not have much hope of actually collecting from him. If it was possible to collect from him the creditors would have already done it. Unfortunately bankruptcy may be your only choice here. If he hasn't paid off one debt that has your name on it...its likely that he hasn't paid the others either...therefore its likely that MORE creditors are going to be coming after you. Can you realistically borrow enough to pay off ALL the debts?...and then pay back whoever you borrowed it from if you can't collect from him?

Laura

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I phoned my ex-husband at his work (which is the only phone I have for him now), and told him that I'd be borrowing the money from my mom and paying off the student loan, then taking him to small claims court.

He got really angry with me, and hung up. He called me back later, and said that he would pay half the amount ($509) if I agreed to spend the week of spring break at his place, and allow him and his two friends to have sex with me "with no limits". I know what he means by this, because while we were married he cheated on me, and I finally found out because a woman filed a police report (battery?) saying that he was so aggressive with her during "backdoor" sex that she required hospitalization and stitches to her rectum to control the bleeding. He had to go to court, and that's how I found out. Now he's threatening me with the same thing -- either I allow him and his friends to abuse me sexually for a week, or he won't pay his half of the remaining loan amount.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'll have to drop out of school if I'm forced to come up with the entire amount that's owed. I feel like it's almost better to just let him and his friends do things to me than to be delayed another whole year with school. Can I at least make them sign something that says they won't do anal sex or that if it hurts too much they have to do it a different way? I just don't know what to do -- he knows I'm trapped. I know that he and his buddies enjoy doing extreme things to women. It gives them satisfaction to see a woman in pain that way. Even with me, while we were married, he was that way -- he'd like to see how wide he could get me and even went so far as trying to insert strange objects in me (cell phone, pliers, and really thick candles among other things). I just wish there were another way, but my time is running out and I have to make a choice.

My response:

And, of course, the two of you courted for quite some time BEFORE you and he married, and you had NO IDEA he was like this when you were dating and in the beginning of your marriage. Yeah, right.

Trailer trash slut. Only a trailer trash slut would even CONSIDER his "offer" - - and, you "considered" and are "considering" it!

IAAL

 

[ParkerGirl]

> Trailer trash slut. Only a trailer trash slut would even CONSIDER his "offer" - - and, you "considered" and are "considering" it!

To IIAL - Your reply made me cry, until I realized how wrong you were. I'm sorry for not having the same upbringing, opportunities and education as you. And you don't know anything about my background, or what happened in my childhood. But the fact is, after realizing my life was a mess and that I didn't know how to do things differently, I put my future in the hands of someone very intelligent... I asked them for help and advice on how to turn my life around, and they gave it to me. Not just a talk -- they took the time to sit down with me, explain to me HOW to do things differently, and laid out a plan that I could follow to achieve my goals. They also paid for my tuition so I could finish this last year of college and enter the pharmacy program.

So, regardless of my background, I've been given a chance... and I'm taking it. But the stupid problems of my past sometimes come back to haunt me, not wanting me to "get out of that cycle of self-destruction" as my smart friend says. You obviously have no clue. You're the kind of guy who thinks battered women get what they deserve because for some reason they stay with the guy who batters and hurts them. You have no clue as to the psychology of human dependence, nor are you compassionate toward others who are anything less than perfect [and mechanical].

How sad for you! You must believe that human emotion is a weakness and a waste. Because human emotion leads millions of people like me to make bad choices in life. I guess that makes us all bad people. Kind of like the woman who gets raped because of the provocative clothes she wears (tattered jeans, in this case). I guess it's her fault that she can't afford better clothes, and has to make due with what the Salvation Army Thrift Store throws out. I guess its her fault that she only learned how to communicate with men in a sexually provocative manner. Never mind the fact that other men in the trailer park only wanted to be friends with her so they could have sex with her, starting from when she was a trusting 13 year old who didn't understand or know any better. Never mind that the only kindness she's ever known from men has been "you're going to do this or I'm going to tell your mother what you've been doing with me and my brother." No -- it's her fault for having these patterns instilled into her brain while she was just an innocent child, at an age where she was most impressionable and, not knowing any better, thought this was "normal." Where were people like you back then? You were too busy saying to yourself "I'm not going to associate with that 13 year old trailer trash tramp... let her get pregnant... she'll get what she deserves" instead of taking a moment to maybe mentor her, letting her see that all men aren't like that, and showing her that she has other choices in life. Nope... you were too busy hating to stop and actually do something which contributes to the basic fabric of society.

I only know certain choices in my life, because that's what I grew up with. When I'm put in those same situations, I react with the choices that are most familiar to me... those that I learned at age 13. That is how human emotion works, IIAL. Regardless of where I live, how I was brought up, or my limited ability to handle sexual abuse, I am entitled to the same protections as any other person. Obviously, from you, I won't receive the same courtesy or respect that you might afford others. But that's alright now... you won't make my cry anymore. I've spoken to my friend, and he explained to me how he used to view the world as "black and white" because he simply didn't know better. That's why he, a phD, never did well in relationships either. People were either perfect [if they did things the way he did] or they were flawed. They weren't people anymore to him.

Perhaps some day, you'll find out that people are only human, that they function with what experiences were given to them from an early age, and that sometimes those experiences are very hurtful and negative. That doesn't make them discards of society... it just makes them more human than you.

 

[cyana24]

Parkergirl - such a pathetic and sad story - unfortunately, it's entirely irrelevant to your financial problems.

Either borrow the money or file bankruptcy. I'd say these are your choices.

I see I am not the only one "squicked out" (my daughter's expression) by the graphic description of your "abuse". I assume you've sought counseling for your childhood abuse and low self esteem it caused.

 

[Theresalee]

!

The only post I was squicked?? out by was the IAAL!!

 

[Theresalee]

P.G do what cyanna says and take care of the financial aspect of it.... Your best bet would be to never say anything of that nature again as long as IAAL is around, Its apparent that the weirdo poster is just the same as your EX or soon to be, Who the hell else would respond like that.? I will have to agree that people like that are usually guilty of it....
He uses this type of behavior to keep people viewing this sight!!! In all honesty I was almost afraid to ask a question! Thanlk GOD IAAL didn't answer it!!!!!!!
Parkergirl just ignore him and move on there is no need to give him what he wants? hey maybe this is the sickos way to get to know you? Just Please talk to a counselor and don't let this guy set you back.. Move forward and away from him, Try and find another forum or request he doesn't respond....
Smart advice with comments like that make me think maybe someone turned him down somewhere down the line.... I just don't get the reason for it?? Except you caused more aguish for someone you do not know or care about.. What a Jerk!!!!!!

 

[leedg]

ParkerGirl----You do not owe anything and do not have to pay anything. Send a copy of your divorce decree to this creditor showing that it was decided in court by a judge that your EX is responsible for this debt and also give them the name, address and phone number to your EX. So they can start hounding him, not you. Let them know that you have an attorney and that your attorney will be in contact with them if they continue to hassel you.

 

[stealth2]

ParkerGirl----You do not owe anything and do not have to pay anything. Send a copy of your divorce decree to this creditor showing that it was decided in court by a judge that your EX is responsible for this debt and also give them the name, address and phone number to your EX. So they can start hounding him, not you. Let them know that you have an attorney and that your attorney will be in contact with them if they continue to hassel you.

Wrong answer. The creditor is not bound by the divorce order, only the two parties are. Her remedy is to pay off the debt (which she contracted to along with him) and sue him for repayment. Unless she'd like her credit to suffer along with his.