Ex-Wife Harassment

[hdfatboy08]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

I am wondering what can be done to stop harassment from my soon to be ex-wife? She has been very emotionally, verbally, and previously physically abusive (prior to us separating). We have now been separated for over a year and the divorce was filed about one year ago but was delayed because I was laid off in May and have just barely found employment again. Anyway, here is the type of harassment I get from her:

- Text messages, most of the time unprovoked and random where she'll call me a piece of ****, tell me she wishes I were dead, tells me I am a deadbeat dad, and that my kids will hate me when they're older, that I am a loser, my family is full of losers, etc etc.

- Calls of threatening nature, threatening to not let me see the kids again if I have a disagreement with her (she has been and is very controlling). She threatens to try and ruin my life by telling the courts I am a pervert, that I am an alcoholic, and that I am unfit to be a parent (all of which are 100% untrue). Also, if she tries to call me and I don't answer she will call over and over and over again and then will start text messaging me threatening me if I don't answer the phone.

I have been dealing with this during our marriage and finally had the courage to leave her because of it but she continues to use my children as leverage to try and have control over me still and to try and destroy my personal life and bring me down. To make matters worst, she is a paralegal by profession and so she uses and manipulates the law to try and control me as well. HELP! I can explain more in private messaging but I don't have money for an attorney right now but I just want her to leave me alone. I just want to raise my children during my parent time and have nothing else to do with her.

Is there anything I can file with the courts to demand she stop talking to me? Is there an intermediary we can use for communication? I try not to let the harassment get to me and I definitely do not show her it bothers me but it does. It gives me panic attacks, stress and puts me in a bad mood. Please someone tell me what I can do to stop this? Thank you!

 

[tnkimala]

phone harrassment

My Ex had me arrested for texting him. I was booked, finger printed and mug shot. I did not sent anything nasty, he just got mad because his girlfriend objected to me still contacting him since my daughter is not his. He never told me to quit but I got arrested anyway. His gf was the only one responding to my messages to him. I got it dismissed, we only communicate through our lawyers now.

Long story short: Tell her to quit contacting you, (leave some means for her to discuss kids with you like no contact except concerning the children, keep proof you did and she received, (certified mail so she signs for the notice), file a police report about the harrassment and your notice to stop, the next time she does it, have her arrested. The phone company can print the texts or you can forward them to your email.

I am only a woman that came to this site seeking advise, but it happen to me.

 

[mistoffolees]

Utah is a one-party consent state. Pick up a recorder and start recording the conversations and save the text messages. Once you have a sufficient number of them, you can use them against her - if she is threatening to deny visitation, it could enter into the ultimate custody decision. It would also be sufficient to get a restraining order from the court demanding that she stop calling you or texting you about any subject other than the child(ren)'s issues.

If she's calling on your cell phone, you will have copies of who called you and when. That will show that she called you repeatedly in a very short time.

You might want to consider counseling - even informally with a pastor, rabbi, priest, etc if you have one. If being called names by your ex throws you into a spin, you need to develop some backbone.

 

[tnkimala]

If being called names by your ex throws you into a spin, you need to develop some backbone.

The putdown/name calling is not necessary.

Abuse victims should seek counseling to help them learn the skills to stand up to their abuser.

 

[mistoffolees]

The putdown/name calling is not necessary.

Abuse victims should seek counseling to help them learn the skills to stand up to their abuser.

Which is what I said.

I didn't call anyone names. I said that if being called names by his ex throws him into a tailspin, he needs to develop some backbone. And I stand behind that. That's not to excuse his ex's behavior, but ultimately, it's up to each individual to decide how they're going to react to bad behavior from others.