expenses before ppwk filed...

[cimmaryn]

What is the name of your state? GA

I asked H for divorce, and we are trying to do uncontested/pro se. Still working things out. I know once we file Marital Separation Agreement and divorce paperwork, we agree not to incur expenses for the other. Legally, are any expenses before then legitimately the responsibility of both?

My H swapped cars out with me, because he was driving a car given to me by my father (and I had the car he came into the marriage with). The value is similar. He kept griping about little problems with his car, so we agreed he could get those fixed. I told him I would also take my car (the one he had been driving) to get checked over, too. Well, it ended up costing $1700 to fix my car (he is a rough driver, and it's old). Now he is unhappy because it was so expensive.

Plus, for this month, we are still using the joint account, and he is complaining about my spending $200 at Target, etc. (although I make 2/3 of the income anyway). I told him running a household costs money!

I do not think I have been unreasonable. There is one expense - before I asked for the divorce (a month before), I found out my son and I needed dental work, which would cost $2000. He and I agreed I would put it on the CC, which I did. Now he thinks he should not have to pay for it.

Legally, does he have a leg to stand on? I know it could look bad to a judge, but everything I spent (except for the car) was what we agreed to before I knew we were going to divorce. Does any of this matter, since we have not filed the paperwork?

Also, I "owe" him $2000 to even up the debt split. However, he "owes" me $14,250 dollars. Instead of giving him this money in cash, I want to reduce the amount he owes me by $2000. Any reason I cannot do that?

Cimm

[cimmaryn]

No suggestions or advice? Surely someone has an opinion?

[LdiJ]

Realistically, its likely that a judge would simply require the two of you to divide the prior debt, although there is no guarantee one way or the other.

You really should go ahead and get separate bank accounts and separate the bills now.

As far as you owing him 2k and him owing you 14k....that would normally get netted out to him owing you 12k. However you didn't give any details of the situation so we don't know if its something unusual that might require a different treatment.

[cimmaryn]

LdiJ -- Thanks for the response! I don't think there are any special circumstances -- his CC's have $2000 more on them than mine do, so to divide the CC debt equally, I "owe" him $2000. It makes sense to me to just deduct this from the amount he owes me. What I would really like to do is give him the whole debt, and deduct that from what he owes me, but I know he would not go for that.

Can anyone tell me about expenses incurred before the divorce paperwork is filed? My understanding is that anything that happens before we file is fair game. I am NOT planning on running up more debt (although I would be tempted to put another $2000 on my cc to even us out! lol) -- I am just thinking I could tell him this to motivate him to sign the papers. He is dragging his feet at the moment, which is driving me insane! Plus, he is whining about expenses that we would have had to pay anyway (dentist, car repairs, etc.).

Any one know about this issue?

Cimm

[Content]

Keep in mind while anything you run up is fair game , so is what he can run up. Do you really want to sit around waiting?? Try to keep all money seperate open an account with just your name on it and deposit your money there. If you have any joint credit cards CANCEL them and get ones in just your name. Try to cover and protect yourself as much as possible. Even though it's still just trying, if he's smart he can still screw with your finances.

[cimmaryn]

Content --

Thanks for the advice. I have already removed him as an auth. user on my cc, and told him to do the same. We did not have any truly "joint" cc's. We will keep the one joint bank account, and use that to pay the mortgage and joint bills until the house sells. I already have a separate checking account, and he is working on it. I get paid 1xmo, and the money will go to my own checking account starting this month.

Cimm

[Content]

Originally Posted by cimmaryn

Content --

Thanks for the advice. I have already removed him as an auth. user on my cc, and told him to do the same. We did not have any truly "joint" cc's. We will keep the one joint bank account, and use that to pay the mortgage and joint bills until the house sells. I already have a separate checking account, and he is working on it. I get paid 1xmo, and the money will go to my own checking account starting this month.

Cimm

I would also suggest keeping an eye on your credit report for a while, to make sure nothing slips on there that you haven't authorized. It's always better to be safe than sorry ya know?