ex's visitation of deceased pet's grave...

[ex_issues]

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

Yep. My husband's ex actually had it written into their divorce decree that she can come once a year to pay her respects to their deceased pet that is buried on the property. Not because she cares about the pet, but so she could use it as a form of control.

Now she calls or emails every few months demanding to come, makes arrangements, then doesn't show(thought I took care of that when we got her stuff out of here). So, can she be sent a registered letter stating that she gets one try a year? That if she makes arrangements and pulls a no-show - that's it until the following year? And that if she is so much as one minute late, the gate will be locked and she can try again the next year?
Or is my poor husband doomed to dealing with this forever because he wasn't specific enough in the decree?

It's cold and cruel, I know. I don't like that we have to resort to this, but the woman has psychological issues that make it impossible to handle any other way. We're both tired of her heaping her abuse on him, and we're trying to find ways to make it stop.

[BelizeBreeze]

Tell your Husband to come here and type in word for word EXACTLY what the divorce decree says as to the visits.

[ex_issues]

Going through the papers, I see it's twice a year, so edit the above to her being able to call twice a year to make arrangements, but this is it...

F. Additional Conditions: Respondent shall be allowed to go to Petitioner's residence twice a year and upon reasonable notice to pay her respects to "Pogo" the parties' pet. A third-party shall be present for these visits.

[Gracie3787]

Originally Posted by ex_issues

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

Yep. My husband's ex actually had it written into their divorce decree that she can come once a year to pay her respects to their deceased pet that is buried on the property. Not because she cares about the pet, but so she could use it as a form of control.

Now she calls or emails every few months demanding to come, makes arrangements, then doesn't show(thought I took care of that when we got her stuff out of here). So, can she be sent a registered letter stating that she gets one try a year? That if she makes arrangements and pulls a no-show - that's it until the following year? And that if she is so much as one minute late, the gate will be locked and she can try again the next year?
Or is my poor husband doomed to dealing with this forever because he wasn't specific enough in the decree?

It's cold and cruel, I know. I don't like that we have to resort to this, but the woman has psychological issues that make it impossible to handle any other way. We're both tired of her heaping her abuse on him, and we're trying to find ways to make it stop.

The only way to make it stop is if your hubby exhumes the remains, and reburies them in a pet cemetary. End of problem, and the cool part is that if ex complains, she'll only be showing her true reasons for wanting to "pay her respects". Hope this helps.
Gracie

[kaym]

LOL! Great answer, Gracie! I was thinking, "Oh boy, I think I would want to move!"

[stealth2]

I think this one takes the cake.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by stealth2

I think this one takes the cake.

I was thinking the same...

[Content]

Originally Posted by ex_issues

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

Yep. My husband's ex actually had it written into their divorce decree that she can come once a year to pay her respects to their deceased pet that is buried on the property. Not because she cares about the pet, but so she could use it as a form of control.

Now she calls or emails every few months demanding to come, makes arrangements, then doesn't show(thought I took care of that when we got her stuff out of here). So, can she be sent a registered letter stating that she gets one try a year? That if she makes arrangements and pulls a no-show - that's it until the following year? And that if she is so much as one minute late, the gate will be locked and she can try again the next year?
Or is my poor husband doomed to dealing with this forever because he wasn't specific enough in the decree?

It's cold and cruel, I know. I don't like that we have to resort to this, but the woman has psychological issues that make it impossible to handle any other way. We're both tired of her heaping her abuse on him, and we're trying to find ways to make it stop.

Are you kidding?? She gets 'visitation' 2 times a year at your home with a deceased pet? What was your husband thinking when he agreed to that? Perhaps an idea would be to document all of her little games and tricks and head to court to have that part of the decree stricken since she isn't using the time but always harasses to be allowed the time. Does that make any sense? Also at that point if you lose having it stricken then request that the details be specified much more clearly so she can't play all of these games.

Otherwise if you don't like that suggestion, follow the previous posters suggestion and exume the poor critter and have them buried in a pet cemetary.

Of all the strange things, you unfortunantly have the funniest I have heard in a while

[ex_issues]

Originally Posted by Gracie3787

The only way to make it stop is if your hubby exhumes the remains, and reburies them in a pet cemetary. End of problem, and the cool part is that if ex complains, she'll only be showing her true reasons for wanting to "pay her respects". Hope this helps.
Gracie

Thanks, that's great advice. Unfortunately he was so attached to the pet that having her buried here is a great comfort to him...*sigh* I really don't think he'd go for moving her.

[ex_issues]

Originally Posted by Content

Are you kidding?? She gets 'visitation' 2 times a year at your home with a deceased pet? What was your husband thinking when he agreed to that?

She was in the throws of pretty serious bi-polar disorder, he would have agreed to just about anything to keep her from freaking-out on him.

Perhaps an idea would be to document all of her little games and tricks and head to court to have that part of the decree stricken since she isn't using the time but always harasses to be allowed the time. Does that make any sense? Also at that point if you lose having it stricken then request that the details be specified much more clearly so she can't play all of these games.

She's been informed that "reasonable notice" means two weeks written notice, just to have documentation should it get to the point where we have to petition to have it removed.

Of all the strange things, you unfortunantly have the funniest I have heard in a while

LMBO...No kidding! I just feel so bad about laughing because she's dealing with mental illness.

[rmet4nzkx]

What kind of a pet is this?

[casa]

Originally Posted by ex_issues

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

Yep. My husband's ex actually had it written into their divorce decree that she can come once a year to pay her respects to their deceased pet that is buried on the property. Not because she cares about the pet, but so she could use it as a form of control.

Now she calls or emails every few months demanding to come, makes arrangements, then doesn't show(thought I took care of that when we got her stuff out of here). So, can she be sent a registered letter stating that she gets one try a year? That if she makes arrangements and pulls a no-show - that's it until the following year? And that if she is so much as one minute late, the gate will be locked and she can try again the next year?
Or is my poor husband doomed to dealing with this forever because he wasn't specific enough in the decree?

It's cold and cruel, I know. I don't like that we have to resort to this, but the woman has psychological issues that make it impossible to handle any other way. We're both tired of her heaping her abuse on him, and we're trying to find ways to make it stop.

You're allowed to bury dead pets in your backyard? LOL, I can't even do that legally where I live.

This is the weirdest court order I've heard~ Obviously HE agreed to it, otherwise I can't see a judge actually ordering this.

[ex_issues]

Originally Posted by casa

You're allowed to bury dead pets in your backyard? LOL, I can't even do that legally where I live.

This is the weirdest court order I've heard~ Obviously HE agreed to it, otherwise I can't see a judge actually ordering this.

LOL...you can legally bury people on your property in New Mexico! Though there's been some attempts lately to over-turn that. Some neighbors got bent out of shape when a woman buried her husband in her backyard to be close to him, and she wasn't physically able to make trips to a cemetary to see him.

[brisgirl825]

Originally Posted by ex_issues

Some neighbors got bent out of shape when a woman buried her husband in her backyard to be close to him, and she wasn't physically able to make trips to a cemetary to see him.

That's sweet, in a morbid sort of way.

[Zephyr]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

That's sweet, in a morbid sort of way.

sooo...I guess, technically she WAS his crypt keeper...hahahaha



sorry couldn't resist