Is this fair or am i stupid?

[Copperarab]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

After 15 years of marriage I went and had a free consult with an attorney for a divorce. I laid out all our assets and debts and told the attorney what I had in mind. He said I was crazy....

I told him that I wanted to give the house (with equity and increased value) free and clear to my husband along with:

he keeps his 401k (7,000)
he gets 90% of all household furnishings and tools, etc
and he can file this years taxes (my granddaughter and i as dependants) and keep the money.

In return, he takes 90% of our debt (20,000 worth) and I keep my student loan and some cc debt, about $8,000 worth.

He makes average 60,000 per year, I have not worked in several years. I want to go back to college and pursue/finish the degree I didnt get to complete 8 years ago. I am hoping with less debt, some alimony, and living on student loans I can survive for a few years until i finish school and make some decent money.

What is the smartest, yet least painful way to make this fair? He has been abusive, and only asks for a divorce when he's drunk. I know he is going to be hurt when i move in with my oldest daughter.

Is the attorney correct? Am I foolish?

Thanks****************************..

[rmet4nzkx]

The attorney is correct.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Copperarab

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

After 15 years of marriage I went and had a free consult with an attorney for a divorce. I laid out all our assets and debts and told the attorney what I had in mind. He said I was crazy....

I told him that I wanted to give the house (with equity and increased value) free and clear to my husband along with:

he keeps his 401k (7,000)
he gets 90% of all household furnishings and tools, etc
and he can file this years taxes (my granddaughter and i as dependants) and keep the money.

In return, he takes 90% of our debt (20,000 worth) and I keep my student loan and some cc debt, about $8,000 worth.

He makes average 60,000 per year, I have not worked in several years. I want to go back to college and pursue/finish the degree I didnt get to complete 8 years ago. I am hoping with less debt, some alimony, and living on student loans I can survive for a few years until i finish school and make some decent money.

What is the smartest, yet least painful way to make this fair? He has been abusive, and only asks for a divorce when he's drunk. I know he is going to be hurt when i move in with my oldest daughter.

Is the attorney correct? Am I foolish?

Thanks****************************..

Whether or not you are being foolish depends to a great extent in how much equity there is in the home.

Normally, things would be split 50/50.
If you have 28k in debt, that would be 14k to each of you.
His 401k would be split, 3500 to each of you.
The contents of the home would also be split basically in half.

Then there is the equity/appreciation in the home.

If the equity/appreciation in the home is roughly 20k (the amount of debt you are suggesting he keep). It might be fair for him to keep the equity in the home....but that still doesn't deal with the contents or the 401k.

If the equity/appreciation in the home is less than 20k....then him keeping the 401k, the Debt and the contents might be fair.

However, if the equity in the home is more than 20k....and particularly if its significantly more than 20k. Then you are being incredibly foolish.

You can be without debt by getting your half of the equity and using it to pay off debt...and keeping the rest.

Or, if you trust him to truly pay off the debt, then that can be deducted from the equity in the home and the two of you split the balance.

Get an appraisal done on your home....I suspect there is a lot more equity/appreciation than you think there is. Your share, even after paying the debts, may be enough to finance quite a bit of your schooling.

[Copperarab]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

The attorney is correct.

Well....that was short and right to the point! LOL!!

I guess I am feeling guilty as I have not loved him in a long time, and have not worked out of the home in 4 years.....

Maybe I am crazy, but I want a quick and painless as possible divorce. I figured if I gave him near everything, he would not fight me and up attorney costs..

(And no..we do not live in a trailer, nor are we having extramarital affairs

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Copperarab

Well....that was short and right to the point! LOL!!

I guess I am feeling guilty as I have not loved him in a long time, and have not worked out of the home in 4 years.....

Maybe I am crazy, but I want a quick and painless as possible divorce. I figured if I gave him near everything, he would not fight me and up attorney costs..

(And no..we do not live in a trailer, nor are we having extramarital affairs

Hon, don't sell yourself short just because you don't want to deal with some hassle. Believe me, you will regret it later. Get your fair share up front....because even if some short term alimony is ordered, you can't guarantee that he won't make it darned difficult for you to collect on that alimony.

If there is significant equity in your home....then consider using alimony as a negotiating tactic. Tell him that you won't ask for alimony if he cooperates with an even split of debts and assets....or even a split that is slightly in your favor.

However, make certain that he must refinance the home into his name only, and for enough money to buy you out. DO NOT give him a quit claim deed tot he home unless it happens at a closing where you are receiving a check for your half of the equity.....or unless it happens at all closing where ALL the debt is paid off plus you get half of the difference.

[Copperarab]

Hi Ldij..thanks for your knowledge..

We bought the home over a year ago and was lucky to pay $21,000 less than what it was appraised at. We have done quite a bit of work to it, new roof, new pool, new landscaping, some new interior work. Except for the roof, all the rest of the work has been paid outta pocket with us both doing all the labor. I know that it is worth much more now, even unfinished.

When I went to college last time, I was able to qualify for pell grants through the govt. I am hoping that with having my grandchild as my dependant, I can once again have pell grants pay for some.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Copperarab

Hi Ldij..thanks for your knowledge..

We bought the home over a year ago and was lucky to pay $21,000 less than what it was appraised at. We have done quite a bit of work to it, new roof, new pool, new landscaping, some new interior work. Except for the roof, all the rest of the work has been paid outta pocket with us both doing all the labor. I know that it is worth much more now, even unfinished.

When I went to college last time, I was able to qualify for pell grants through the govt. I am hoping that with having my grandchild as my dependant, I can once again have pell grants pay for some.

I am sure that you will qualify for Pell Grants....however at least get an appraisal on the home before you decide how to proceed.