Father doesn't change or feed baby

[Fallon Jenkins]

What is the name of your state?Colorado.

Greetings, I'm writing on behalf of my sister-in-law. She is going through a divorce type thing, and the father is allowed to hold the 5 month old for about 5 hours two days out of the week. He does not change the baby during that period (we know for certain because we marked the pampers and he always come back with the same one on). Secondly, for the second time, he was not fed during this period. She unfortunately has a lawyer that is missing in action, and we believe that the special advocate is being bias. What may be the best way of proving this without the shadow of the doubt? Any help will be appreciated, thanks in advance.

 

[nextwife]

Videotape of the before and after "marked" diapers? How do you KNOW the child is not fed?

 

[Rushia]

Videotape of the before and after "marked" diapers? How do you KNOW the child is not fed?

Just as a personal note. Do you know how stupid "marking" the pampers is? The mother of my x's oldest child pulled that stunt on us. I videotaped myself taking off the soiled diaper, marking our diaper with pen in exactly the same place (she was also stupid enough to mark the child corresponding with the diaper, that's what made me notice) and sending the child back. Wanna know how quickly that blew up in mom's face?

 

[nextwife]

Just as a personal note. Do you know how stupid "marking" the pampers is? The mother of my x's oldest child pulled that stunt on us. I videotaped myself taking off the soiled diaper, marking our diaper with pen in exactly the same place (she was also stupid enough to mark the child corresponding with the diaper, that's what made me notice) and sending the child back. Wanna know how quickly that blew up in mom's face?

Ha! Too funny. I love that you didn't let on that you knew what they were trying to do.

 

[Rushia]

Ha! Too funny. I love that you didn't let on that you knew what they were trying to do.

I am far from stupid.

OP, how do you KNOW that the child is not being fed? And as a ps to your pm. There is nothing to suggest at all as I believe that all you are trying to do is find a way to keep the child from it's father. Before you get angry, I am a divorced/remarried mother of two and I believe that it's in my childrens best interest to know their father and see him as often as possible. I place no restrictions on him or my childrens relationship with them. He and his wife are welcome at my home anytime to visit as are my hubby and I in their home. If the child is only 5 months old, father just may need to learn and adjust to being a father (esp if he's a first time dad). Your best bet and this is wholly personal advice is to WORK with the father and make it clear that if he needs any help he is welcome to call you/mom with questions. If this is offered to him he may be willing to accept the offer and call, then you should hold to your word and NOT belittle him if he honestly asks for help.

 

[dallas702]

Dad only gets two five hour visits per week, and you're worried about whether or not the diaper is changed? Listen, if that's all the bonding dad is allowed to do you have a lifetime of far more serious problems than that to look forward to.

Did your sister-in-law ever take the time to sit down with dad and show him how to care for the baby? Or, is she doing her best to keep him away and discourage the relationship? Treating dad with some reasonable amount of respect will make him a much better parent....which is the real goal, isn't it?

 

[Rushia]

Dad only gets two five hour visits per week, and you're worried about whether or not the diaper is changed? Listen, if that's all the bonding dad is allowed to do you have a lifetime of far more serious problems than that to look forward to.

Did your sister-in-law ever take the time to sit down with dad and show him how to care for the baby? Or, is she doing her best to keep him away and discourage the relationship? Treating dad with some reasonable amount of respect will make him a much better parent....which is the real goal, isn't it?

Darn it dallas, you beat me to it while I was editing!!

 

[mycarlb]

To play the Devil's advocate for a second (and I am in NO way saying it sounds exactly like my situation)... my exhusband was very abusive to me, but during our marriage didn't physically abuse our children, so I never thought about having supervised visits....

Well, during every single visitation day (he had them every Tuesday and Friday...all day) - He would end up calling me about 2 hours into the visit saying the children wanted to come home... we had 2 daughters ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2... my baby would always have a full pamper and he also wouldn't change her...my other daughter would come flying into the house to go potty saying that her daddy wouldn't take her... to make a long story short... I tried to get visitation taken away stating that he didn't want to have my kids... instead the judge enforced the visitation and my ex began sexually abusing my daughters... I think he was afraid to change diapers or take my 2 year old to the potty because of his sick ways... when the judge enforced the visitation his sickness took over...

That was my experience, and I have NO idea if the OP's ex is/was abusive in the marriage, or if this is a classic example of "let's put the children in the middle like pawns" situation...

Why are you worried to start with?

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state?Colorado.

Greetings, I'm writing on behalf of my sister-in-law. She is going through a divorce type thing, and the father is allowed to hold the 5 month old for about 5 hours two days out of the week. He does not change the baby during that period (we know for certain because we marked the pampers and he always come back with the same one on). Secondly, for the second time, he was not fed during this period. She unfortunately has a lawyer that is missing in action, and we believe that the special advocate is being bias. What may be the best way of proving this without the shadow of the doubt? Any help will be appreciated, thanks in advance.

Has he been to parenting classes or anything? Has anyone even showed him how to change a diaper and told him how often a baby HAS to eat? Don't just assume that anyone who becomes a parent KNOWS how to be a super perfect one from day 1.

 

[simpleguy05]

To play the Devil's advocate for a second (and I am in NO way saying it sounds exactly like my situation)... my exhusband was very abusive to me, but during our marriage didn't physically abuse our children, so I never thought about having supervised visits....

Well, during every single visitation day (he had them every Tuesday and Friday...all day) - He would end up calling me about 2 hours into the visit saying the children wanted to come home... we had 2 daughters ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2... my baby would always have a full pamper and he also wouldn't change her...my other daughter would come flying into the house to go potty saying that her daddy wouldn't take her... to make a long story short... I tried to get visitation taken away stating that he didn't want to have my kids... instead the judge enforced the visitation and my ex began sexually abusing my daughters... I think he was afraid to change diapers or take my 2 year old to the potty because of his sick ways... when the judge enforced the visitation his sickness took over...

That was my experience, and I have NO idea if the OP's ex is/was abusive in the marriage, or if this is a classic example of "let's put the children in the middle like pawns" situation...

Why are you worried to start with?

I know this isn't from the OP but it really bugged the $hit outta me. What did the judge ever say once you found out about the sexual abuse? I can't imagine what I woulda done to the dad AND judge after that.

 

[dallas702]

Hmmmmmm...hadn't thought about the sexual abuse thing. There's a lot of that going around. Of course, there's a lot of allegations going around that are bs, too.

 

[mycarlb]

I know this isn't from the OP but it really bugged the $hit outta me. What did the judge ever say once you found out about the sexual abuse? I can't imagine what I woulda done to the dad AND judge after that.

Well, I considered killing him, but I love my freedom and my children way too much... so we went through hell, I had to prosecute through family court due to the ages of my babies (couldn't testify and no physical abuse such as tearing etc... all oral abuse and touching) and the DA was afraid if he lost at trial my ex would again get visitation... so after 1 year of living HELL he was adjudicated a sex offender and his parental rights were taken away. I don't know if he is alive or dead today, but I know he NEVER EVER can hurt my children again... the only problem I have is the fact he got not one day in prison... but I could NOT take a 70/30 chance of losing at trial when it came down to protecting them... and at his hearing I was allowed to speak... the SAME JUDGE that granted him summer visitation sat on the bench during the sexual abuse hearing and ended the expert testimony early because he couldn't stand to hear anymore of the horror stories my babies told during counseling.... WELL, I ripped into the judge blaming him for the whole situation, and asked if he was able to sleep at night... they ended up escorting me out of the court room and threatening contempt if I continued...

My babies are now 16 and 17 and very well rounded honor students (thank the good Lord)... I hope my ex is 6 feet under somewhere...so he could never hurt another child...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Well, I considered killing him, but I love my freedom and my children way too much... so we went through hell, I had to prosecute through family court due to the ages of my babies (couldn't testify and no physical abuse such as tearing etc... all oral abuse and touching) and the DA was afraid if he lost at trial my ex would again get visitation... so after 1 year of living HELL he was adjudicated a sex offender and his parental rights were taken away. I don't know if he is alive or dead today, but I know he NEVER EVER can hurt my children again... the only problem I have is the fact he got not one day in prison... but I could NOT take a 70/30 chance of losing at trial when it came down to protecting them... and at his hearing I was allowed to speak... the SAME JUDGE that granted him summer visitation sat on the bench during the sexual abuse hearing and ended the expert testimony early because he couldn't stand to hear anymore of the horror stories my babies told during counseling.... WELL, I ripped into the judge blaming him for the whole situation, and asked if he was able to sleep at night... they ended up escorting me out of the court room and threatening contempt if I continued...

My babies are now 16 and 17 and very well rounded honor students (thank the good Lord)... I hope my ex is 6 feet under somewhere...so he could never hurt another child...

Testimony from well coached children aged 1.5 & 2.5 at the time of the events, would very likely not be admissiable today.

 

[brisgirl825]

Testimony from well coached children aged 1.5 & 2.5 at the time of the events, would very likely not be admissiable today.

That's what they said about the girls, who were around 5 years old, that accused Alegandro Avila of sexual abuse. He was found not guilty in part b/c the defense atty saying the children were coached by mom.

Later he was found guilty of kidnapping, raping, and murdering 5 y/o Samantha Runnion.

http://crime.allinfoabout.com/runnion/updates.html

Not all children are coached.

 

[mycarlb]

Testimony from well coached children aged 1.5 & 2.5 at the time of the events, would very likely not be admissiable today.

First of all, you sound like a well coached child molester ... secondly...I would have given my life to think my children had been told to say things or made that up because of something they saw on TV... however that wasn't the case... I had to get the police involved just to enforce MY visitation once the abuse started because he would disappear during my days...

You and people like you make me sick and is exactly what's wrong with the world today! Coached children... I, at the request of the department of social services HAD TO place my children in the care of a family member so that his scumbag attorney could not say I coached them at all... the first words out of my 2 year old when I was driving them back after my visit was "daddy put his pee finger in my mouth"... does that sound like coaching to you idiot? And the reason they couldn't get my children to talk in front of camcorders is because their father told them HE was in the camera... oh yeah, my daughter told the counselor that as soon as she ran screaming to the bathroom... so no video taped evidence either...so NO assbag, my children were most definately NOT coached.... get a life perv

Thank God I had a wonderful sex abuse counselor for my children and they didn't encounter some lowlife such as yourself... so how many kids have you abused lately??