Father married for almost 3 years. Divorce coming. What will she get?

[ForMyMother]

New Hampshire:

My father made a big mistake almost three years ago (Summer 2007). Now that he's miserable, he obviously wants to get divorced but is holding off because I think he's afraid of getting taken to the cleaners.

My father makes around or above $150k a year.

The future ex-wife is almost 51 years old and is nothing but a HUGE liability. She doesn't have a career or a full time job, she has two YOUNG children (ages 10 & 12) who split time between her and one of her exes, she doesn't own anything significant (no property, no car, nothing), and she expects to have everything handed to her. This is her 4th or 5th marriage (I'm legitimately not sure on the number. I thought it was 4 but someone recently told me that this was the 5th). As you can tell by this, the woman is out of her mind. I totally understand why my father wants a divorce as he owns a nice / new house ($450k) and she has totally destroyed it with her two kids. They don't clean, they're loud, obnoxious, disrespectful, inconsiderate, you name it... As soon as they moved in, they thought the house was theirs and theirs only. The woman is THE laziest person I've ever seen in my entire life. Today is February 27th and there are still Christmas ornaments scattered all over the room where the tree was. My father claims he wants to see how long it takes for her to pick it up.

Is there any way he can walk out of this clean?

I'm pretty sure she's going to walk away with something but I want to make sure it's extremely limited. She doesn't deserve anything.

They were married in the U.S. Virgin Islands. My father told me that he hopes it's not valid but I think it is since it is a United States territory. He also did NOT have her sign a pre-nup. He claims that he has a written statement from her in an email but I don't think that an email holds any significant value in the court of law... then again, I'm not a judge.

Does anyone have any advice that I could pass on to my father?

I don't want to see undeserving people get handed a free ride.

 

[nextwife]

The sooner he gets out, the better. He is entitled to keep all non comingled premarital assets. Marital savings, retirement and retirement accounts get split. Marital debt also gets split. He should fight any Spousal support, but may get stuck with some short term. The sooner the marriage ends the shorter the length of any SS. He has ZERO responsibility for her kids with another guy.

 

[mistoffolees]

New Hampshire:

My father made a big mistake almost three years ago (Summer 2007). Now that he's miserable, he obviously wants to get divorced but is holding off because I think he's afraid of getting taken to the cleaners.

My father makes around or above $150k a year.

The future ex-wife is almost 51 years old and is nothing but a HUGE liability. She doesn't have a career or a full time job, she has two YOUNG children (ages 10 & 12) who split time between her and one of her exes, she doesn't own anything significant (no property, no car, nothing), and she expects to have everything handed to her. This is her 4th or 5th marriage (I'm legitimately not sure on the number. I thought it was 4 but someone recently told me that this was the 5th). As you can tell by this, the woman is out of her mind. I totally understand why my father wants a divorce as he owns a nice / new house ($450k) and she has totally destroyed it with her two kids. They don't clean, they're loud, obnoxious, disrespectful, inconsiderate, you name it... As soon as they moved in, they thought the house was theirs and theirs only. The woman is THE laziest person I've ever seen in my entire life. Today is February 27th and there are still Christmas ornaments scattered all over the room where the tree was. My father claims he wants to see how long it takes for her to pick it up.

Is there any way he can walk out of this clean?

I'm pretty sure she's going to walk away with something but I want to make sure it's extremely limited. She doesn't deserve anything.

They were married in the U.S. Virgin Islands. My father told me that he hopes it's not valid but I think it is since it is a United States territory. He also did NOT have her sign a pre-nup. He claims that he has a written statement from her in an email but I don't think that an email holds any significant value in the court of law... then again, I'm not a judge.

Does anyone have any advice that I could pass on to my father?

I don't want to see undeserving people get handed a free ride.

Yes. The advice you should pass on to your father is that he should have taught his kids to mind their own business.

It's his life. Not yours. If he wants a divorce, he can get one - and come here for advice. If he doesn't want a divorce, he doesn't have to. It's none of your business one way or the other.

 

[ForMyMother]

Yes. The advice you should pass on to your father is that he should have taught his kids to mind their own business.

It's his life. Not yours. If he wants a divorce, he can get one - and come here for advice. If he doesn't want a divorce, he doesn't have to. It's none of your business one way or the other.

Mind my own business?

Are you one of those people who talks to your family about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?

You're what's wrong with the world. Wait, are you his future ex-wife? My guess is that you're a 50+ year old conservative who just went through menopause and has nothing to do besides complain. You're probably telling me to stay out of it because you conned someone into getting married and took off with their money just like this woman is trying to do to my dad. So leave your bias out of this.

If you can't talk about things, then what is the point of family in the first place?

I KNOW that my father is miserable at the moment and I want to see him happy again.

Good luck to you and your family if everyone is like you.

 

[ForMyMother]

The sooner he gets out, the better. He is entitled to keep all non comingled premarital assets. Marital savings, retirement and retirement accounts get split. Marital debt also gets split. He should fight any Spousal support, but may get stuck with some short term. The sooner the marriage ends the shorter the length of any SS. He has ZERO responsibility for her kids with another guy.

Thank you. I keep saying the sooner the better but he seems to keep holding off. I seriously think he's devising a plan but he won't say for sure. He just keeps telling me that something is going to happen in the near future... whatever that means.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you. I keep saying the sooner the better but he seems to keep holding off. I seriously think he's devising a plan but he won't say for sure. He just keeps telling me that something is going to happen in the near future... whatever that means.

You are butting into both your mother's divorce (your other thread) and your father's marriage/potential divorce.

Don't you respect your parents as competent adults who can manage their own affairs?

 

[mistoffolees]

Mind my own business?

Are you one of those people who talks to your family about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?

You're what's wrong with the world. Wait, are you his future ex-wife? My guess is that you're a 50+ year old conservative who just went through menopause and has nothing to do besides complain. You're probably telling me to stay out of it because you conned someone into getting married and took off with their money just like this woman is trying to do to my dad. So leave your bias out of this.

If you can't talk about things, then what is the point of family in the first place?

I KNOW that my father is miserable at the moment and I want to see him happy again.

Good luck to you and your family if everyone is like you.

You're free to talk with your father about whatever you want. However, when you come to a legal board talking about YOUR concerns about your father's marriage, you're butting in. If he has concerns, he's free to act on them (assuming he's a competent adult).

Your last comment is especially telling. You're an arrogant, self-centered whining brat. Let him handle his affairs and you handle yours.

 

[mistoffolees]

You are butting into both your mother's divorce (your other thread) and your father's marriage/potential divorce.

Until you pointed it out, I didn't realize that she started that other thread.

Sure looks like someone is more concerned about her inheritance than her parents' happiness.

 

[ForMyMother]

You are butting into both your mother's divorce (your other thread) and your father's marriage/potential divorce.

Don't you respect your parents as competent adults who can manage their own affairs?

I'm not butting into anything.

You should have asked this question first:

Did they ask for help?

My mother: Yes
My father: no (but needs it)

And no, I don't respect my parents as competent adults as they've acquired an 0 and 5 record when it comes to marriages. Some people need advice whether they realize it or not. My two brothers agree with me that something must be done.

 

[ForMyMother]

You're free to talk with your father about whatever you want. However, when you come to a legal board talking about YOUR concerns about your father's marriage, you're butting in. If he has concerns, he's free to act on them (assuming he's a competent adult).

Your last comment is especially telling. You're an arrogant, self-centered whining brat. Let him handle his affairs and you handle yours.

Yea, so being concerned for someone elses happiness makes me self-centered?

As for being arrogant, what makes you think that?

Thanks for humoring me. You made my day

 

[mistoffolees]

And no, I don't respect my parents as competent adults as they've acquired an 0 and 5 record when it comes to marriages. Some people need advice whether they realize it or not. My two brothers agree with me that something must be done.

Thanks for proving my point. If your parents are incompetent, get a court order declaring them incompetent and have a trustee appointed. Until then, they're adults and responsible for their own decisions.

All you've established is that your brothers are self-centered, spoiled brats, too.

 

[ForMyMother]

Thanks for proving my point. If your parents are incompetent, get a court order declaring them incompetent and have a trustee appointed. Until then, they're adults and responsible for their own decisions.

All you've established is that your brothers are self-centered, spoiled brats, too.

Hahahaha. Spoiled? Define spoiled for me and think about what you just wrote.

We get nothing from our parents. We're all on our own.

I need a court order to give advice because, in my opinion, they're incompetent when it comes to marriage?

 

[mistoffolees]

Hahahaha. Spoiled? Define spoiled for me and think about what you just wrote.

We get nothing from our parents. We're all on our own.

I need a court order to give advice because, in my opinion, they're incompetent when it comes to marriage?

Do your parents a favor and get out of their lives. If you can't even read advice on an internet forum without threatening to kill yourself, you've got no business giving advice to anyone else - on divorce or any other subject.