Feel like I've been knocked out!!!

[JanDoe]

What is the name of your state? IL

So during dinner last night, two days after spending time with his father, my son drops a "bomb" on me. He said his Dad (my husband, who served me with divorce papers 1 month ago) asked if I was saying bad things about him at home. My son told him that I actually hadn't been (I make sure to only do that in my head!!) and that the only complaint he's heard me make was regarding the following: my husband, all of a sudden**************. in the period of only one month, has used my insurance three times to go to the ER. The bills were sent to me.

Well, my husband told my son that it is MY fault the divorce is going through, because I didn't disagree and I retained a lawyer!!!! I have never wanted a divorce and I even sent my husband a letter two weeks after he had me served. I told him I didn't want a divorce and explained that the summons stated I only have 30 days to respond. If I didn't hear back from him, I would have to get a loan to retain an attorney to file a response. I even told my newly hired lawyer, before filling out one sheet of paper, that I was totally against the divorce, did not want it and feel, according to my religious convictions, that it's totally wrong. However, he told me that all of this is irrelevant because we live in a "no-fault" state. The only think I could do is defend myself.

I feel like my head is spinng. It seems as though my husband had me served with divorce papers as a "test"!!! He went on to tell my son that I am trying nothing to fix the marriage. Well what can I do the last month after being served? My son even told him that I have said and he knows I DON'T want a divorce.
My head is reeling! I want my son to spend time with his Dad, but this is not fair to him or me. Just as I start to heal a little, it all starts again.

I am wondering if his laywer did not tell him that I CAN'T refuse the divorce? (He didn't hire a lawyer specializing in family law). I have not had five minutes of sleep. My lawyer is in the process of sending my husband my signed, "Petition of Exclusive Possession" of the house. I might not have agreed to this if I had known my husband didn't want the divorce. From an outside opinion, what does he seem to be doing (aside from tormenting me!!)?

So I can have some peace and sleep again: Could I have refused the petition? I didn't even sign anything. The summons was just handed to me! The mental anguish of this is more than I can bare.
Is this something I need to share with my attorney? Thanks for any advice.

Jan, tell your son that the next time his dad OR YOU asks about the other he is to say "I don't know, why don't you ask [fill in the blank]"

As for refusing the summons, no, you could not do that and win or even have a say in how the court action would go.

You did the right thing. Now, let your attorney handle this matter and get some sleep.

Men are jerks. we take classes in high school

[stealth2]

He's playing headgames - with you and the kid. He made his bed - now make him deal with it.

[JanDoe]

Thanks for the advice Pf & Stealth!
I just can't understand what my**************husband (it hurts to even type that!) feels he is accomplishing by playing these "headgames" with me. I know he loves and misses our son like crazy. I would think he'd want to spend the limited time the two of them have together having fun, not talking about the nasty stuff between him and I!