Fighting over no assets

[Kudalski]

I'm pro se.
My x wife and I are dead broke.. She has about $$55,000 in credit card debt and I have about $17,000. in debt. I also have about $380,000 in judgments against me in a failed buisness. now in federal leans against me and agaist the only home I own.

1. I own a home that was purchased about about 6 months before I was married to my X.. 18 years ago. The home is worth about $280,000. with a $105,000 still mortgage. We both can't really touch it.. or can we?

Here is the twist...
2. My mother instead of granting me my inheretance.. of her 2 paid in full homes worth about a million dollars. She granted those 2 homes directly to our childern ages 7 to 21. part becasue of my x and I failed finacial exeriance and part of the judgemnts that against me.
The homes are in the names of our childern only since 2001. Now that my X and going through this divorce... she has a laywer.. and I dont', I am dead broke and I cant afford one, I'm even falling short on my child support payments.. She does not work, lives in one of those 2 homes with the children, I live in the other home, I only have visitaion with our childern.
Shes demanding that I pay, taxes.. insurance.. etc.. on the home she lives in. She's also demanding a much higher child support payments and alimony. and wants me to pay her rent on childern home that i liive in and work out of. can she do that? can she even bring up either of those 2 homes that our childrn own? WE are also behind on the homes taxes, and she's does not have insurance on the homes she lives in. I offered to reconcile with her.. but she still insist on going through this divorce and just wants me to pay for everythign. what should I be looking at?


thank you.

 

[justalayman]

Ya think that question regarding what state this is in that you apparently deleted was relevent?

Just in case you thought wrong; yes, it is relevent.

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm pro se.
My x wife and I are dead broke.. She has about $$55,000 in credit card debt and I have about $17,000. in debt. I also have about $380,000 in judgments against me in a failed buisness. now in federal leans against me and agaist the only home I own.

1. I own a home that was purchased about about 6 months before I was married to my X.. 18 years ago. The home is worth about $280,000. with a $105,000 still mortgage. We both can't really touch it.. or can we?

Here is the twist...
2. My mother instead of granting me my inheretance.. of her 2 paid in full homes worth about a million dollars. She granted those 2 homes directly to our childern ages 7 to 21. part becasue of my x and I failed finacial exeriance and part of the judgemnts that against me.
The homes are in the names of our childern only since 2001. Now that my X and going through this divorce... she has a laywer.. and I dont', I am dead broke and I cant afford one, I'm even falling short on my child support payments.. She does not work, lives in one of those 2 homes with the children, I live in the other home, I only have visitaion with our childern.
Shes demanding that I pay, taxes.. insurance.. etc.. on the home she lives in. She's also demanding a much higher child support payments and alimony. and wants me to pay her rent on childern home that i liive in and work out of. can she do that? can she even bring up either of those 2 homes that our childrn own? WE are also behind on the homes taxes, and she's does not have insurance on the homes she lives in. I offered to reconcile with her.. but she still insist on going through this divorce and just wants me to pay for everythign. what should I be looking at?


thank you.

What you should be looking at is finding an attorney who can help you. While it seems like it's an unnecessary expense, you're almost certainly much worse off if you don't have one. Whether you work out payment terms with the attorney, borrow the money, or take another job, you really need an attorney.

Your home may be marital property (if you've mingled assets enough), separate property, or some of each. That is a very important issue to be settled first.

Once you have the divorce settled, sell the home, settle with your creditors, and take a course in financial management.

Oh, and bravo to your mother.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm pro se.
My x wife and I are dead broke.. She has about $$55,000 in credit card debt and I have about $17,000. in debt. I also have about $380,000 in judgments against me in a failed buisness. now in federal leans against me and agaist the only home I own.

1. I own a home that was purchased about about 6 months before I was married to my X.. 18 years ago. The home is worth about $280,000. with a $105,000 still mortgage. We both can't really touch it.. or can we?

Here is the twist...
2. My mother instead of granting me my inheretance.. of her 2 paid in full homes worth about a million dollars. She granted those 2 homes directly to our childern ages 7 to 21. part becasue of my x and I failed finacial exeriance and part of the judgemnts that against me.
The homes are in the names of our childern only since 2001. Now that my X and going through this divorce... she has a laywer.. and I dont', I am dead broke and I cant afford one, I'm even falling short on my child support payments.. She does not work, lives in one of those 2 homes with the children, I live in the other home, I only have visitaion with our childern.
Shes demanding that I pay, taxes.. insurance.. etc.. on the home she lives in. She's also demanding a much higher child support payments and alimony. and wants me to pay her rent on childern home that i liive in and work out of. can she do that? can she even bring up either of those 2 homes that our childrn own? WE are also behind on the homes taxes, and she's does not have insurance on the homes she lives in. I offered to reconcile with her.. but she still insist on going through this divorce and just wants me to pay for everythign. what should I be looking at?


thank you.

The homes do not belong to you and your wife. The homes belong to your children. Any of your children who are legal adults are in charge of their own inheritance, any of the children who are not minor adults would have their property controlled by either the parent with custody, or the parent with financial guardianship.

If the two of you have been controlling your children's property and you have not been paying the taxes, then you have breached your fiduciary responsibility to your children.

It looks to me like you both need to file bankruptcy, you in particular. However you have no right to risk your children's assets by not covering the taxes and insurance, particularly since you are both making use of their property.

 

[mistoffolees]

It looks to me like you both need to file bankruptcy, you in particular. However you have no right to risk your children's assets by not covering the taxes and insurance, particularly since you are both making use of their property.

That's actually a gray area. The parents do not have a legal obligation to pay the taxes and insurance. The grandmother should have made provisions. Not having done so puts the properties at risk.

A reasonable provision would have been for the parents to be required to pay upkeep, insurance, and taxes in lieu of rent for as long as they lived in the house. But if that provision was not provided at the time of the gift, I'm not sure it can be added later.

Of course, if the parents are smart, they would pay those things anyway since it will cost them a lot more to get themselves living quarters if the homes are sold to cover back taxes and insurance. I just don't think there's a legal requirement for them to do so unless it was specifically spelled out.

 

[justalayman]

=mistoffolees;2065070]That's actually a gray area. The parents do not have a legal obligation to pay the taxes and insurance. The grandmother should have made provisions. Not having done so puts the properties at risk.

what is gray about it. G-ma had no responsibility to make provisions. The financial guardian is responsible seeing this is done.

A reasonable provision would have been for the parents to be required to pay upkeep, insurance, and taxes in lieu of rent for as long as they lived in the house. But if that provision was not provided at the time of the gift, I'm not sure it can be added later.

A retroactive contract. Not hardly.

Of course, if the parents are smart, they would pay those things anyway since it will cost them a lot more to get themselves living quarters if the homes are sold to cover back taxes and insurance. I just don't think there's a legal requirement for them to do so unless it was specifically spelled out

or a new contract requiring them to pay is agreed upon.

Shes demanding that I pay, taxes.. insurance.. etc.. on the home she lives in.

she can demand anything she wants. If the court rules it so is another matter. Your situation is far too complex to decide on a forum. You need to assistance of a lawyer.

and wants me to pay her rent on childern home that i liive in and work out of. can she do that?

maybe. If she is the trustee of your childrens assets, then as such, she can expect rent from you to the childrens trust. If she isn't the trustee, then she has no standing to demand such.

LdiJ writes:

However you have no right to risk your children's assets by not covering the taxes and insurance, particularly since you are both making use of their property.

If either of you are trustees to your childrens assets, then not only do you not have the right to subject the childrens assets to forfeiture, you may also be liable for the losses for your improper actions that resulted in their forfeiture.

Kudalski:

what should I be looking at?

the yellow pages for a good attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

maybe. If she is the trustee of your childrens assets, then as such, she can expect rent from you to the childrens trust. If she isn't the trustee, then she has no standing to demand such.

If either of you are trustees to your childrens assets, then not only do you not have the right to subject the childrens assets to forfeiture, you may also be liable for the losses for your improper actions that resulted in their forfeiture.

the yellow pages for a good attorney.

They don't even have to be formal trustees. A child's parent or guardian who controlls a child's assets has a fiduciary responsibility regarding those assets, whether they are formally named as a trustee or not.

I am truely appalled that these parents are living in homes owned by their minor children, and do not appear to grasp that taxes and insurance on those properties should be their first priority.

 

[mistoffolees]

They don't even have to be formal trustees. A child's parent or guardian who controlls a child's assets has a fiduciary responsibility regarding those assets, whether they are formally named as a trustee or not.

That part is true. I do not believe it requires them to spend their own money to pay for taxes or upkeep. If trustees had to spend their own money on the trust beneficiaries, no one would ever serve as a trustee.

They might, however, have a responsibility to sell the houses if there's no money to keep them up.

I am truely appalled that these parents are living in homes owned by their minor children, and do not appear to grasp that taxes and insurance on those properties should be their first priority.

I agree completely. I just don't think there's a LEGAL obligation for them to spend their own money to do that.

 

[justalayman]

They don't even have to be formal trustees. A child's parent or guardian who controlls a child's assets has a fiduciary responsibility regarding those assets, whether they are formally named as a trustee or not.

I am truely appalled that these parents are living in homes owned by their minor children, and do not appear to grasp that taxes and insurance on those properties should be their first priority.

true. In either case, the parents would be liable for some respnsibility.

who they are not responsible for though is the 21 year old (and any children 18 or over). Where are they in this picture? They have the obligation of paying the taxes and if they desire, they need to initiate a legal action to recoup the minor childrens shares from the trustees/fiduciaries.

 

[LdiJ]

true. In either case, the parents would be liable for some respnsibility.

who they are not responsible for though is the 21 year old (and any children 18 or over). Where are they in this picture? They have the obligation of paying the taxes and if they desire, they need to initiate a legal action to recoup the minor childrens shares from the trustees/fiduciaries.

True, but the bottom line is if the parents cannot maintain the property for the children then they have no right to benefit by living in the homes rent free, and should have put the homes on the market, with the proceeds appropriately going to the children.

 

[mistoffolees]

True, but the bottom line is if the parents cannot maintain the property for the children then they have no right to benefit by living in the homes rent free, and should have put the homes on the market, with the proceeds appropriately going to the children.

I already agreed with that. There doesn't appear to be any money set aside to maintain the houses or pay taxes. The parents have no obligation to use their own money to do that. HOWEVER, they DO have an obligation not to let the houses fall into disrepair or fall behind on taxes. The law can't force them to pay the taxes out of their own money, but it can force them to sell the houses if they won't keep them up.

As everyone has already stated, it would be much to their advantage to just pay the taxes and upkeep in lieu of rent. It's just that they can't be forced to do that - even though it appears to be their best option.

 

[nextwife]

Good grief. If an able bodied adult has a FREE AND CLEAR home to live in, and doesn't have to even pay any rent, WHAT is the big deal about paying the taxes, utilities and maintenance in exchange? WHY can't you each be RESPONSIBLE adults and each cover the taxes etc in exchange for the privilege of residing there? After all, you'd each need to pay to live somewhere else if you didn't have the houses to live in, wouldn't you?

If the taxes DON'T get paid, your kids LOSE their inheritances. Very nice. Each pay the taxes in exchange for the use of the housing.

 

[Kudalski]

1st I want to thank you all for the over whelming response…

This is in the state of New Jersey.

Most said to hire an attorney: I already did that since this started in August of 2006, twice I hired attorneys, and of course they drained me out of every penny I got and I even borrowed money from my bother. Both attorney’s did nothing said nothing to worry about: you have no assets, and your debts far exceed whatever you own, so she gets nothing even if the court forces you to sell the premarital home you have. This is the reason I did not bother finding a third attorney. Now I am simply broke and have nothing more to lose. I am without a job and work as a handy man to make ends meet. I have no wages to garnish. I pay whatever I can of the child support I was ordered, I am currently behind a couple of thousand on my child support.

Good grief. If an able bodied adult has a FREE AND CLEAR home to live in, and doesn't have to even pay any rent, WHAT is the big deal about paying the taxes, utilities and maintenance in exchange? WHY can't you each be RESPONSIBLE adults and each cover the taxes etc in exchange for the privilege of residing there? After all, you'd each need to pay to live somewhere else if you didn't have the houses to live in, wouldn't you?

If the taxes DON'T get paid, your kids LOSE their inheritances. Very nice. Each pay the taxes in exchange for the use of the housing.

This is what its down to (nextwife).. you said it.
I been trying to get alone with her.. to work it out.. for me to find a way to pay for the home I live at and she should do the same for the home she lives in... but no...
she is a woman who is full of rage, hate and anger. She would not even want to talk to me or coapreate with me, not even for the sake of her kids.
she is a stubbern and a hard headed woman, she does not want to get a job or do anthing, just sit home and wants me to pay for everthing. Her laywer (and I don't understanding how he is still with her since she's more broke then I am) trying all he can to get us to come to an agreement. He is trying to get me to put it all down on paper and sign for it.. (to pay up for everything by myself and be resposible) I in no way can do that. Again my X always in denial, turnes her back to me and want nothing to do with me, but just tell me to pay up and meet her demands.