Filing to finalize divorce? Parties have both moved.

[ariastar]

What is the name of your state? California

The couple separated in August of last year. They lived in Santa Barbara County. She moved to Illinois right away. They decided to go for a summary dissolution. Everything is amicable, and they are still good friends. All forms were back to the Mr. and he filed in a Santa Barbara court on January 4th of this year. Soon after, he moved to Santa Clara County. Now that the 6mo. point is almost here, they'd like to prepare to file for finalization, but aren't sure of a few things.

Absolutely nothing is being contested. Both are in other relationships now, and just want it finalized. There are no children, and marital assets were very, very few. Each took a car, and that was that.

Now they aren't sure which form(s) is/are the correct one(s) to file. The presumption right now is that both FL-820 ([url]http://courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/fl820.pdf[/url]) is correct. If so, does the one who goes ahead and files it fill it all out and just let the judge sign?

Can filing be done through the mail, or must he (he's the petitioner, as well as the one still in state, albeit hundreds of miles away) file in person? Does filing in person get things done sooner?

Will the court mail original signed copies to each party, or must the copies be picked up in person?

If they could afford attorneys, then there'd be no need to ask here, but they're a couple of young people married younger than they should have, and absolutely don't have the money for attorneys anyway (gotta love the lay-offs in Silicon Valley and hot young people have next to no chance at finding jobs).

For what it's worth, my relation to this is as the girlfriend of the soon-to-be ex-husband in this case, and the soon-to-be ex-wife is a dear friend of mine. It really was a marriage that shouldn't have happened, and only did because they reached a point of "Now what?", and decided marriage was easier than breaking up and moving on. Ha! Easier? And as a girlfriend/friend, I'm trying to help them, and please don't try saying I'm conniving or trying to benefit from anything here. I'd be trying to help them even if I wasn't in a relationship with him.

Thank you in advance for any help that can be offered.

[CourtClerk]

Your married boyfriend needs the judgment, notice of entry of judgment, notice of change of address (if not already filed with the court), whatever forms and attachments mirror the petition, proof of service of the PDD (if not already filed with the court), 2 self addressed stamped envelopes, an original and 2 copies.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by ariastar

For what it's worth, my relation to this is as the girlfriend of the soon-to-be ex-husband in this case, and the soon-to-be ex-wife is a dear friend of mine. It really was a marriage that shouldn't have happened, and only did because they reached a point of "Now what?", and decided marriage was easier than breaking up and moving on. Ha! Easier? And as a girlfriend/friend, I'm trying to help them, and please don't try saying I'm conniving or trying to benefit from anything here. I'd be trying to help them even if I wasn't in a relationship with him.

You've already got the legal advice you need.

I might also suggest that you lay low. This is between them and there's no legal reason for you to be involved. I've seen many 'amicable' divorces turn nasty - and the presence of another woman is often the trigger. Hopefully, that won't happen.

[ariastar]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

Your married boyfriend needs the judgment, notice of entry of judgment, notice of change of address (if not already filed with the court), whatever forms and attachments mirror the petition, proof of service of the PDD (if not already filed with the court), 2 self addressed stamped envelopes, an original and 2 copies.

Okay, the FL-820 says "Request for Judgment, Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage, and Notice of Entry of Judgment." It mentions no attachments. I'd completely overlooked the change of address ([url]http://courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/mc040.pdf[/url]) and was wondering what to do about that. Didn't hit any of us that there might be a form.

Thanks!

[ariastar]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

You've already got the legal advice you need.

I might also suggest that you lay low. This is between them and there's no legal reason for you to be involved. I've seen many 'amicable' divorces turn nasty - and the presence of another woman is often the trigger. Hopefully, that won't happen.

I know everyone thinks it won't happen in their case. However, as she's happily in a new relationship (as of soon after the split in August, and his son is coming to see her as mom - the child's birth mom died soon after birth), and even consoled me on several occasions when I've felt like a home-wrecker simply for being a friend of theirs before they separated and was in a relationship with someone else until after that, and both the guys are pretty buddy-buddy, and they are both VERY eager to have this over and done, I have doubts that it will get ugly at this point.

I know it's legally between them. Both new guy and I are just supportive and they've asked for our help to help fact-check their research, so we are.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by ariastar

I know everyone thinks it won't happen in their case. However, as she's happily in a new relationship (as of soon after the split in August, and his son is coming to see her as mom - the child's birth mom died soon after birth), and even consoled me on several occasions when I've felt like a home-wrecker simply for being a friend of theirs before they separated and was in a relationship with someone else until after that, and both the guys are pretty buddy-buddy, and they are both VERY eager to have this over and done, I have doubts that it will get ugly at this point.

I know it's legally between them. Both new guy and I are just supportive and they've asked for our help to help fact-check their research, so we are.

You're obviously in a better position to know than anyone here. Just keep your eyes open because I've seen it go bad lots of times. The fact that she has a new relationship helps.

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by ariastar

I know everyone thinks it won't happen in their case.

That's right, there are TONS of us that can say with absolute positivity that this would not happen in their case... because some of us have a staunch policy about dating married men, no matter what the silly rationalization is in the end. There is no way about it... until he's divorced, he's MARRIED, however, you're young and you probably don't get it just yet. Remember this though, what he'll do with you, he'll do to you.

[ariastar]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

Remember this though, what he'll do with you, he'll do to you.

That's awfully presumptuous and rude to say. If we had been together before they separated or before she'd even left the state, then there'd be cause for concern. As it stands, they had separated and she had left the state before he and I even considered a relationship. I was hesitant to get into the relationship without her blessing because I didn't want to be with the man who was legally her husband without her knowledge and, dare I say it?, consent. I wanted them to give it one more try before he and I really got into a relationship. He was my best friend for a long time, and I loved him, but would preferred they gave it one more shot, but they weren't interested and said they made better friends than spouses.

It's not a case of adultery (at least in the social sense - divorce-not-final is one thing, but for social and relationship purposes, they were over).

So I do not appreciate your stupid suggestion that he will run off with someone else on me and run off. While we were friends and nothing more, I saw what he was willing to do to try to make that marriage work. She was finally the one to end it.