Financial Obligation to Separated Wife

What is the name of your state? North Carolina
My wife and I separated in January. I told her to leave because she had repeated incidents of staying out all night, and not contacting me. I have kept the house and our two teenage daughters live with me. She insists that I must pay her bills and her rent where she is living now, which I have done up until now... I feel, first of all, that I should not have to, and secondly, that it is an enormous financial strain upon me. She has given no money towards the support of the children. She says that if I do not pay her rent and bills, she will take me to court. What can I do?

The reasons why she left are not an issue. The fact that she left the home is. You are no more responsible for her expenses living separate and apart from you, as she is for yours. Do you have a Separation Agreement? I would guess not, but you need to do that as soon as possible. NC has a one year mandatory separation before you can file for divovce. Also, if you have the children, get child support now. She is required by law to help support her children, like it or not. Not legal advice...life advice.

[djohnson]

I am in complete agreement. Where spousal support may be awarded depending on the length of your marriage, so would child support so it may just even out. You are not responsible for her bills. I would file as quickly as possible though. When she figures out you don't have to give her anything she will probably try and fight for custody of the kids just to scare you into agreeing. Don't fall for it is my 'life' advice.

Unfortunately the poster cannot file for divorce until January of 2004 because NC is still in the dark ages and requires a one year separation. However, he can and should file for child support now via a temporary order. Call your local paralegal service for assistance. Or hire an attorney if you have big bucks. Good luck!

Thanks for the replies... unfortunately, the wife does not work, and really has no source of income, other than what I give her....throughout the years of our marriage, I asked many times that she get a job to help out financially. I have never abused her, so she is in no danger of returning, and I have asked her to come back, but she refuses. Therefore, I do not feel that it is fair or appropriate that I pay for her to live as she pleases, while I have also 100% of the financial support for the children.

[djohnson]

Typically child support is based on a percentage of what the NCP makes but not always. There could be a minimum amount set even though she doesn't have a job. It's obvious to everyone and should be to the judge that she will need one as you are not responsible for paying her bills, so they can have temp order until she gets a job and then adjust it at that time. I think you have the winning hand here.

DJohnson is right on the money. I have seen many cases, increasing as time goes by, where the noncustodial parent is ordered to pay child support based on what they have in the past made or the base amount stipulated in the Child Support Guidelines, if they are unemployed. I have also seen judges order a parent to GET A JOB in a stipulated time frame. The days of free rides for mommies are over. You can get blood out of a turnip if you do it right. This is a good thing!

[VeronicaGia]

Absolutely! File for custody and support pronto! You are not responsible for her, but she is legally responsible to help support the children financially. File for support, and stop paying her bills.