FL Separation

[tammyb]

I live in FL and have been married for 5 years. I recently decided to leave my husband. He does not want me to leave but knows I've made up my mind. We have 2 children together. He has asked me to not file any paperwork due to the fact that he is going to law school and knows the judge will order him to pay around 1000 a month in child support which he cannot afford. He says if the judge orders him to pay that much he will have to file bankruptcy and then will never be allowed to take the bar exam. He originally said he would give me 500 a month but now says he cannot give me anything. I do not want to ruin his future career ( he's already a police sergeant) or make things nasty between us and I know that in the long run it will benefit my children if he becomes a lawyer, but I just don't know if I can make it on my own financially without his help. He has also said that if he has to file bankruptcy he will "take me down with him" so I'll have to file also since we are married and half the bills would be my responsibility even though they are all in his name. I guess my question is, can he make me have to file bankruptcy also? Do you think it would be in my best interest to wait the 4 years to file or just file now to enforce a child support order?
Thanks so much for any advice!
Tammy

 

[seniorjudge]

I live in FL and have been married for 5 years. I recently decided to leave my husband. He does not want me to leave but knows I've made up my mind. We have 2 children together. He has asked me to not file any paperwork due to the fact that he is going to law school and knows the judge will order him to pay around 1000 a month in child support which he cannot afford. He says if the judge orders him to pay that much he will have to file bankruptcy and then will never be allowed to take the bar exam. He originally said he would give me 500 a month but now says he cannot give me anything. I do not want to ruin his future career ( he's already a police sergeant) or make things nasty between us and I know that in the long run it will benefit my children if he becomes a lawyer, but I just don't know if I can make it on my own financially without his help. He has also said that if he has to file bankruptcy he will "take me down with him" so I'll have to file also since we are married and half the bills would be my responsibility even though they are all in his name. I guess my question is, can he make me have to file bankruptcy also? Do you think it would be in my best interest to wait the 4 years to file or just file now to enforce a child support order?
Thanks so much for any advice!
Tammy

How do you plan on supporting these kids if he does not?

By the way, you might want to inform him that he will never get a law license either if he has unpaid back child support.

So, it looks like you have him over a barrel.

 

[tammyb]

I have a full time job as a server....not great money but decent, I "think" I can make it, though it will be very tough. It wouldn't be considered back child support if there is no order, would it? I really don't want to screw him over, I have to deal with him forever because of the kids but I don't want my kids to do without either. He's pretty much telling me that if I file he will have to quit law school and it will be my fault. So I either ruin his career and get child support now, or I struggle for a few years and hope my kids will benefit later....what to do, what to do.....
Thanks so much for the imput!
Tammy

 

[LdiJ]

I live in FL and have been married for 5 years. I recently decided to leave my husband. He does not want me to leave but knows I've made up my mind. We have 2 children together. He has asked me to not file any paperwork due to the fact that he is going to law school and knows the judge will order him to pay around 1000 a month in child support which he cannot afford. He says if the judge orders him to pay that much he will have to file bankruptcy and then will never be allowed to take the bar exam. He originally said he would give me 500 a month but now says he cannot give me anything. I do not want to ruin his future career ( he's already a police sergeant) or make things nasty between us and I know that in the long run it will benefit my children if he becomes a lawyer, but I just don't know if I can make it on my own financially without his help. He has also said that if he has to file bankruptcy he will "take me down with him" so I'll have to file also since we are married and half the bills would be my responsibility even though they are all in his name. I guess my question is, can he make me have to file bankruptcy also? Do you think it would be in my best interest to wait the 4 years to file or just file now to enforce a child support order?
Thanks so much for any advice!
Tammy

Don't let him get away with that. File for child support.

The only way that you would have to file bankruptcy is if your name is on any of the debts.

 

[Gracie3787]

I live in FL and have been married for 5 years. I recently decided to leave my husband. He does not want me to leave but knows I've made up my mind. We have 2 children together. He has asked me to not file any paperwork due to the fact that he is going to law school and knows the judge will order him to pay around 1000 a month in child support which he cannot afford. He says if the judge orders him to pay that much he will have to file bankruptcy and then will never be allowed to take the bar exam. He originally said he would give me 500 a month but now says he cannot give me anything. I do not want to ruin his future career ( he's already a police sergeant) or make things nasty between us and I know that in the long run it will benefit my children if he becomes a lawyer, but I just don't know if I can make it on my own financially without his help. He has also said that if he has to file bankruptcy he will "take me down with him" so I'll have to file also since we are married and half the bills would be my responsibility even though they are all in his name. I guess my question is, can he make me have to file bankruptcy also? Do you think it would be in my best interest to wait the 4 years to file or just file now to enforce a child support order?
Thanks so much for any advice!
Tammy

You can file now for CS and instead of going by the state guidelines, the 2 of you can come to an agreement for any amount you wish. If you are willing to accept the $500 it would be in his best interest to agree. After the agreement is signed by a Judge the agreement/order will NOT prevent him from continuing his education- EXCEPT if he doesn't pay the agreed/ordered amount.

I completletly agree and understand that you realize that you will be able to get more CS later if you allow him to finish his education now. However, you will need CS and your kids deserve thier Dad's financial support so go ahead and file now.

Don't worry about HIS fears, you have to do what is best for your kids, it appears that you are willing to work with him and accept less now, so if he doesn't want to work with you and help himself at the same time- then HE will have no one to blame but himself if he can't pay the guideline amount.

 

[tammyb]

Thanks for all the great advice. I'm still undecided as to what Im going to do but I feel more confident about my situation. However, I do have one more question, until I decide to file paperwork asking for child support, how do I document when I left the household with the children in order to get whatever back support he owes from the time I leave? I want it to be able to hold up in court but not necessarily something he'll know I'm doing so it doesn't cause waves. Will my rent receipts be enough or do I need to do something else? Thanks again!
Tammy

 

[Gracie3787]

Thanks for all the great advice. I'm still undecided as to what Im going to do but I feel more confident about my situation. However, I do have one more question, until I decide to file paperwork asking for child support, how do I document when I left the household with the children in order to get whatever back support he owes from the time I leave? I want it to be able to hold up in court but not necessarily something he'll know I'm doing so it doesn't cause waves. Will my rent receipts be enough or do I need to do something else? Thanks again!
Tammy

Your rent reciepts, reciepts for utility deposits, date of DL address change can all be used to document the date of seperation.

If you file for temp. CS, it will only go back to the date of your filing for it. However, when divorce/final CS order is done, the court can order retroactive CS from the date of seperation to final hearing date- not to exceed 2 years.

 

[acmb05]

Thanks for all the great advice. I'm still undecided as to what Im going to do but I feel more confident about my situation. However, I do have one more question, until I decide to file paperwork asking for child support, how do I document when I left the household with the children in order to get whatever back support he owes from the time I leave? I want it to be able to hold up in court but not necessarily something he'll know I'm doing so it doesn't cause waves. Will my rent receipts be enough or do I need to do something else? Thanks again!
Tammy

Well first you dont want to screw him over and prevent him from finishing school.

And now you are looking for ways to sneak around behind his back and get everything you can from him.

Go to mediation and come up with an agreement you can both live with then present it to the judge when you file.

He is a seargent on the police force? Dont let him fool you he can afford 500 a month.

 

[tammyb]

And now you are looking for ways to sneak around behind his back and get everything you can from him.

I'm not trying to sneak around behind his back but I AM trying to keep the peace....we still live in the same house (for the next 2 weeks, at least) and I don't feel it's necessary to rub his nose in my leaving since he doesn't want me to go. However, I do feel my children deserve "everything I can get" from their father to help them. I will be struggling to provide a decent home for them in a decent neighborhood. Their father has never been one to spend much time with them so I want to do whatever I can to spend as much time with them myself while still keeping a roof over their heads and food in their mouths. Yes, he is a Police Sergeant but he is also one that likes to spend money and use plastic.
He has now agreed to give me one of the trucks (the one that is paid off thankfully), continue vehicle and health insurance on the kids, pay for my youngest childs daycare, let me have 1/2 the income tax return, buy the children each a bed (on plastic of course) and let me keep my cell phone on his account so I can use it as my home phone when I move. I feel that this is a good start and we are on the road to a decent agreement and compromise! He also said he would do his best to give me what he can so I think I will wait it out for now to see how he does. Thanks for the replies and the advice!
Tammy